I met up with Romeo in front of the Main Library before going to the Student Center.
“Wow, Sam!” Romeo squeed, “you look hot as hell!”
I still wore my sexy outfit from the tribunal hearing.
“Do you have a job interview?” he asked enthusiastically. “Or are you going to walk into some corporate boardroom and wow a bunch of executives who make decisions that shape the world?”
“Stop, Romeo,” I giggled. “I had to wear it for my tribunal hearing.”
“How’d that go?” he asked, suddenly serious.
“Tiffany admitted to putting her card in my wallet. She said it was just a prank.”
“What?” Romeo gaped. “You’re totally lying.”
“No, I’m serious.”
“Seriously hot,” Justin Tomlinson said suggestively, walking toward us from across the wide bridge that led back toward the Main Library. “You’re dressed to kill today, Samantha.” He looked me up and down.
“Yeah,” Romeo grinned, “she has an automatic with a silencer in her book bag and she’s going to use it later to assassinate some head of state after giving head to his state.”
“Romeo!” I chastised.
“What?” Romeo asked defensively. “No head of state would ever let you get close enough to assassinate him without seducing him first. Don’t you watch spy movies?”
I leaned toward Romeo and made a big show of staring into one of his ears.
“What are you doing, Sam?” he blurted, pulling away.
“I’m trying to see into that brain of yours so I can see all the crazy ideas floating around inside. It’s probably more fun than an amusement park in there,” I giggled. I leaned toward him again, peering intently.
Romeo swatted both hands at me repeatedly like a kitten at play. “Enough! They’re my ideas, and I charge admission!” He started laughing, still flailing with his hands.
I backed away before I got slapped, “I was wrong. It was just earwax.”
Justin crinkled his nose and laughed at us, looking super cute. “You guys are certifiably cray cray,” he laughed.
“Totally,” I said, smiling at Justin. I noticed his eyes twinkling at me. Yeah, he pretty much looked like he belonged on the cover of a teeny bopper magazine. But in a twenty year old sort of way that was swoony to all women under the age of forty.
Before I could look away, Justin turned to Romeo, his eyes still twinkling, and said, “Romeo, let me know what you charge for admission. I’d pay to see the crazy factory inside your head. Is there any way we can bottle it for The Wombat?”
“There is. I’ve been working with Willy Wonka, you know, the guy with the Chocolate Factory, to formulate a secret recipe. But we haven’t yet decided on whether to distill my genius into hard candies or chocolate bars.”
“I vote for hard candies,” Justin smiled, “they last longer and cost less.”
“Yes,” Romeo said seriously, “but, like an evil villain, my only goal is to fleece children of their allowances worldwide, so as to pad my own coffers.” He broke into a smile.
Justin was still smiling at him. “How do you do it?” he marveled. “You always have more ideas.” Justin leaned toward Romeo, sort of like I had earlier. But sort of not.
“What are you doing?” Romeo asked nervously, leaning away.
Justin beamed a smile at him. “I don’t believe Samantha when she said all she saw was earwax.”
“Uh, okay?” Romeo said uncertainly.
Justin grinned awkwardly and suddenly backed off, “It’s probably just earwax. Anyway, we should get to the Toasted Roast. It’s time for the staff meeting.”
Justin started walking toward the Student Center. Romeo and I followed.
We found Keith, Micah, Alyssa, and Tammy already sitting at two tables pushed together in the quad outside Toasted Roast.
“Hey, guys,” Justin said, sitting down.
Romeo and I found chairs.
“Believe it or not,” Justin said, “we got almost six thousand votes about the new Wombat mascot.”
“Wow,” Alyssa said.
“Shit,” Keith said, “and I didn’t think anybody read The Wombat anymore.”
“We’re fucking trend setters,” Micah said. “Of course they do.”
“What were the results already?” Tammy Lemons demanded.
Justin pulled a sheet of paper out of his book bag. It showed a screen grab printout of the poll results.
“It was a close race,” Justin said. “3,277 votes for Sam, 2,649 for Tammy. Congratulations, Sam! You won! We have our new mascot! Potty the Pot Smoking Wombat!”
“What?” I said. I must have heard him wrong.
“You won, Sam!” Romeo cheered. “You won!” He threw his arms around me and hugged me vigorously.
Justin, Keith, Micah, and Alyssa all clapped, big smiles on their faces.
“Congratulations, Sam!” Alyssa beamed.
“Potty for President” Micah said, pumping his fist.
“Now I just have to figure out where Potty buys his cheeba,” Keith grinned. “That blunt of his is humungous.”
Micah high fived him and they both snickered like total potheads.
At the end of the table, Tammy Lemons frowned.
“Sorry, Tammy,” Justin said.
I felt bad for Tammy. Sort of. But I didn’t want to shove it in her face. I’d won! Lightning had struck twice today!
Whoopee!
A smile spread across my face.
I glanced at Justin, expecting to see his twinkling smile.
But his eyes were all over Romeo.
What the what?
How had I not noticed before?
Romeo walked me to my car in the North Parking lot after The Wombat staff meeting. The sun floated high over the horizon, drenching the sky in warm yellows and oranges. It already felt like summer weather in San Diego even though it was still spring.
“Romeo, I think Justin likes you,” I said.
“Yeah, and he likes you too,” Romeo said. “So?”
“No, I mean, like likes.”
Romeo scoffed and shook his head, “No way, Justin isn’t gay. I would’ve noticed.”
“That’s what I thought. But, I don’t know, maybe it’s because we were both nervous getting to know everyone at the staff meetings. And you were always focused on trying to come up with funny ideas to impress everyone. I know how you are. You totally get carried away when you’re on a roll.”
Romeo nodded thoughtfully. “Well, don’t you think you would’ve noticed he was gay by now?”
“Maybe. But, Romeo, you exude so much gayness at all times that it scrambles everyone’s gaydar.”
Romeo raised an eyebrow, “You have a point there.”
“So maybe you should ask him out?”
Romeo chuckled, “Why would I do that?”
“Because, for all your enthusiasm for the male of the species, I’ve never seen you on a date with man nor beast.”
“I’ve been on some pretty hairy dates with some men who may have been beasts. Rawr!” Romeo quipped.
I stopped walking and narrowed my eyes at him. “When?”
“Whenever,” he dismissed and kept walking toward the parking lot. “When am I not out on a date?”
I jogged to catch up to him. “Slow down! I’m in heels!”
He slowed until I caught up.
“Come on, Romeo. Don’t you think you would’ve introduced me to one of your dates by now? I’ve known you for nine months!”
“I like to keep my personal life personal,” he said while walking. “Besides, I never date anyone for very long.”
I got the sense Romeo was trying to escape. I grabbed his arm and stopped him again. “How long?” I asked.
“What?”
“How long do you date them for?” I demanded.
Romeo rolled his eyes desperately and gave me a pleading look. I’d never seen him look so genuinely nervous before.
I leveled a gaze at him, but he was avoiding my eyes.
“You need to ask Justin out,” I said.
He suddenly goggled at me like I was insane. “I can’t ask Justin out!”
“Fine. I’ll ask him out for you.”
“This isn’t high school, Sam,” he said like he was parenting me. “I can ask him out myself. If I wanted to.”
“So, why don’t you? He’s totally cute. And he couldn’t stop staring at you during the staff meeting just now. And he loves your sense of humor. Seems like a good match to me.”
Romeo rolled his eyes. “So what? You know I’m totally gayballs for Christos. I’m saving myself for him.” His usual sarcasm was back.
“Romeo, you were also gayballs for Hunter Blakeley. And how did that turn out?”
“Perfectly! Christos saved me from him! I practically swooned on the spot when he tripped Hunter that day after sculpting class!”
I wasn’t buying it. It was all the exclamation points Romeo was using. I knew a thing or two about them myself.
I rolled my eyes. “I think you’re scared, Romeo. Justin is obviously into you. Unlike Hunter, who is straight. After today’s meeting, and that weird moment when he tried to look into your ear in front of the Main Library, he’s obviously gay.”
Romeo flinched when I mentioned the library moment.
“And,” I continued, “I get the sense Justin is available. I think it scares you.”
Romeo cringed.
“Romeo, are you consciously trying to avoid dating a nice guy like Justin? Or is it out of habit?”
Romeo smiled and shrugged his shoulders squeamishly.
I nodded and folded my arms across my chest, “That’s what I thought. You’re all gay talk without the rainbow walk.”
Romeo glanced around, making sure no one was listening to what he was about to say. A few random students walked here and there, but no one was closer than fifty feet away.
In a low, embarrassed voice, Romeo mumbled, “I may talk like I’m 50 Shades of Cray when it comes to living gay, Samantha, but it doesn’t mean I have any practical experience when it comes to the ways of love.”
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