As I drove, I fought the tears, but it was a losing battle. I let them come.

She wanted me to go with her. But to what end? Leave my home, my family, my daughter, my career? Sure, there were labs up in California, I knew that, but all that I had built here in the past ten years. All I had accomplished, the awards I’d won.

But then there was Haley. My whole life, no one had been able to affect me as she did, no one could claim they had won me over, or opened my heart. Some sick part of me relished the fact that no one had been able to break me.

But then there was Haley.

She rocked my world every single day in one way or another. Damn, even now as I thought about her, my stomach began to dance, my heart singing along, and the corners of my mouth automatically turning up.

It often made me think of Bunsen. No matter how much trouble he’d gotten into that morning, because he’d torn something up in the night, or had decided to make the kitchen floor his personal latrine, he always had a wagging tail, and a lick or twenty for me. Such was the way of Haley. In my eyes she could do no wrong.

The sun was beginning to peek out from between the clouds, and its light reflecting off the snow was too much. I pulled down my visor to grab my sunglasses from where they were clasped, and I stopped, seeing Kendall’s fourth grade picture where I’d tucked it under a rubber band. She was smiling at me, her green eyes bright with youth and innocence.

I pulled the Jeep to the side of the road, and took the picture out, staring at it. The girl was so young, only ten. I trusted Vince and Michelle Torrini as much as I trusted my own mother. I knew Kendall was in good hands, or I never would have left her there. She’d be taken care of well, just as she had already been for the first decade of her life.

There were ways to see her often, and Haley loved her. She’d have no problem with Kendall visiting.

I closed my eyes, setting the picture aside, and putting my hands on the wheel. What is this "we" bullshit? Haley has said nothing about a we. She’d only said that she wanted me to come with her. What the hell does she want from me? What are her intentions?

God, I hate being confused.

* * *

I walked down the hall, headed to the lab. I knew my eyes were red from lack of sleep, and though I hated to admit it, more crying. Damn those ducts. If they didn’t serve an actual bodily function, I’d have them removed.

I had done a lot of thinking last night, a whole shit load of pacing, making my dog dizzy as he sat on his haunches, watching the crazy human walk back and forth, back and forth.

No conclusions had managed to be reached as of yet, but I knew that it was only fair I give her an answer soon.

Pushing it all aside for now, I pushed open the door to the lab, and was immediately met by Samantha.

"Andi, thank god you’re here. Disaster last night."

"What?" Alarmed, I threw my wallet and keys onto the nearest work table, and followed my colleague over to the test read-offs. I searched through the numbers, trying to find the problem. "Why did this happen?"

"The cooler gave out over night. The one with the sample in it." I looked up at her, eyes narrowed.

"No," I breathed. She nodded. She looked like she was about to cry. "Hang on, let me think. Where is it?" She hurried to the back of the lab where she’d placed the Petri dish to keep it safe. I grabbed it, quickly taking it to the nearest microscope and zooming in on it. It couldn’t happen this way. There was just no way.

"We’ve got to hurry, Andi. The other freezing units are losing temperature, too."

"You’re kidding?" I looked at her, she shook her head.

"I only wish."

"Fuck." I stood. "This one’s too far gone. "Check the others."

I hurried back to my office, my blood on fire. Grabbing the phone, I punched the extension of Dr. Bill Johns, the supervisor of the wing.

"Dr. Johns," came the smooth, calm voice. Not what I needed to hear.

"You need to get your ass on the phone, and get us some new cooling units with the money we were promised at the beginning of the year, Johns," I raged. This had been an ongoing problem, our equipment dying out long before its time, even though all the labs had been promised a budget increase at the beginning of our fiscal year, which all of us had yet to see.

"Excuse me?"

"This is Dr. Andrea Littman, and you just cost us about a thousand man hours, and a million dollars in research, doctor. Our cooling units have failed for the third time in the last six months." I could feel my emotions building, the situation with the lab, and Haley building into one massive ball of ‘oh shit.’

"Do you have any idea who you’re talking to?" He was downright angry, now.

"Yes, and I’ll kiss your ass tomorrow, but today get off it, and get this taken care of! You’re messing with people’s lives, Dr. Johns. We may have finally had the right combination, but now we’re hard pressed to ever know."

"Another one is bad, Andi," I heard Samantha yell from the lab.

"Get on it... sir."

I hung up the phone, and hurried back into the lab.

Within an hour, repair men had us halfway back up, and brand new units had been ordered.

As the day went on, Samantha and I started our project from scratch. We were both disheartened, saddened, almost as if a member of our family had died. We had lost all the samples when all was said and done.

She left for lunch, needing to get some space between her and the lab, so I sat in my office, the project on the computer screen before me, but I stared straight ahead, my mind nowhere near this hospital. Though I did worry somewhere in there if I’d have a job tomorrow.

Suddenly I felt as though I were being watching, and I looked up. Haley stood in the doorway, a brown bag in her hand. She had been looking at me. When she saw she had my attention, she smiled.

"Penny for your thoughts?" she said. I smiled.

"You’d be a poor woman."

"May I come in?" She raised the bag. "Lunch."

"Please. Have a seat." I indicated the chair that was on the other side of my desk for guests.

She entered the office, setting the bag on the desk, reaching in to grab a wrapped sandwich. She placed it in front of me.

"Thanks," I said, my voice quiet. I was quite shocked to see her here, really. Though I had done nothing wrong, things hadn’t gone particularly well yesterday, either.

"Look, Andi, I just want you to know that regardless of what happens, whatever you decide, I still will always be here for you, and I truly want to be your friend." I looked up to see Haley standing there, a napkin in her hand, looking right at me. I nodded.

"Thank you."

"And, I’m not about to let you starve just because you can’t seem to make or buy yourself food." I grinned, taking the sandwich into my hands.

"Speaking of decisions," I said, glancing briefly at her. She sat, crossing her arms over her chest, but said nothing. "Why? Why do you want me there?"

She sighed, looking up at the ceiling for a moment before looking back at me, only to look at her lap.

"Well, that’s a question I’ve been struggling with for weeks now." Her eyes met mine. "I’ve never had a problem making friends, and I’ve generally always been surrounded by wonderful people, and for a long time that sufficed. You know?" She looked at me, searching my face for understanding. I nodded.

"I know what you mean."

"Now it’s all changed, somehow. I think of my life back in California, my condo waiting for me, the friends that I have, my work, and though there’s a very large part of me that can barely wait to get back to all that, there’s another part, a deeper part, that can’t imagine any of it without you." She cut herself off, and looked down at her hands.

She looked like she was in such despair, and then to my horror, I saw a single tear fall to her lap.

Quickly I was out of my chair, and hurried to the other side of the desk, sitting on the edge. I had no idea what to do once I was there, but I knew I needed to be closer to her, she needed that.

She swiped at her eye with an impatient hand, then looked up at me.

"No one gets to me like you do, Andi. I feel so safe with you, secure, like nothing can hurt me." She sighed. "I know what I ask is a lot, especially for such an unknown return, but I think about leaving here without you, and I feel sick. Every time you come over, I dread as it gets late, because I know you’re going to have to go home. I crave your presence, Andi. Does that make any sense?"

"More than you know. But what if this is another experiment for you, Haley? What if we try this, and you decide you don’t like it? What if it doesn’t work?"

"Well, first of all, you take the chance of it not working with anything you do. You should know that as a scientist. Second of all, I’m not a kid anymore, and I don’t experiment. Nor do I run. I’ve learned to face my fears, and face the unknown." She looked at me. "And I want that with you." She shook her head. "I’m sorry, Andi. I am so selfish."

"Okay." It just came out. She looked up, her eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"What?" I took a deep breath, leaning forward slightly on the desk.

"Okay." She cocked her head to the side, still looking wary.

"Okay... what?"

"What do you think? I told you I always wanted to see the Pacific." Haley stared at me for a moment, then suddenly her eyes grew to the size of saucers, and she jumped up from the chair, damn near smacking my chin with her face, and grabbed me in a massive hug.