"Why can’t you wait, Bunsen?" I cried, filling my eyes beginning to fill, my chest tightening followed by my throat.

Walking to the center of the room, I looked around. There was so much space, nothing filling it, just a small dog bed and water bowl with a few scattered toys. Before I knew what was happening, I fell to my knees, then sat, hard, my eyes drifting to Bunsen’s mess. He sat near the corner, laying down, looking at me with guilty eyes.

"Why, Bunsen? Why?" My voice cracked, and I tried to swallow it down, but to no avail. He raised his head, cocking it to the side, then slowly, ever so slowly, began to crawl over to me, still on his belly. My head fell as the tears did, too. I didn’t even notice as the Pug climbed into my lap, curling up, but suddenly my hands were resting on a warm body.

My shoulders began to shake with my sobs, heaving as all the emotion that I had held inside for the last two days began to come out in huge waves. The damn broke.

I cried for all the things that Hannah would never be able to do, or see. I cried for her daughter, missing out on a wonderful mother, not there when she had her first day of school, or when she graduated, or got married, or got that first promotion.

I cried for myself, and for all that I would lose out on because my heart had become so buried so many years ago. I, too, would miss out.

Part 12

I stared at her, my cheek resting against my knuckles. She tucked in her lip, let it out, then tucked it in again as her brows drew, dark bangs in her face, sticking her lower lip out as she blew them away.

"You know, Kendall, the piece isn’t going to move on its own." I smiled, eyes drifting down to the backgammon board. "Just remember what I told you; use your role to your best advantage."

Finally, with a sigh, she reached out a small hand, and moved one of the white pieces to land on one of my brown ones that was by itself. She smiled triumphantly as she moved my piece to the center of the board.

She grinned up at me. "I got you."

"That you did, you little turd." She giggled. We both looked up at the sound of a knock on the front door. She looked at me, I looked at her. "Who’s that?" Bunsen, who’d been laying on the floor under the coffee table where we were playing, stood, began to bark.

"I don’t know." I stood, but Kendall beat me to it.

"Can I answer it, Andi?"

"Go for it." I sat again, staring at the game before me, trying to see what the best way to get back into the game would be. I could hear Kendall flipping the locks, and the front door squeak open.

"Hey there." I brows drew as I looked up, knowing that voice.

"Hi."

"How are you, Kendall?"

"I’m fine. How are you, Haley?" I smiled, stood.

"I’m doing great. Is Andi here?"

"Hello, Haley." Her eyes darted up from the girl, and she smiled.

"Hey, stranger." It always amazed me how her entire face lit up when she smiled. "Where have you been?"

"Around. We’re pretty busy in the lab, so I’ve been spending my entire day in there." Haley tsked at me.

"All work and no play? That’s not good. So," she smiled down at Kendall, "I had come by hoping to snag you, and head shopping. But," she smiled at me, "I can see you’ve got company, so I’ll leave you two alone."

"Can we go, Andi?" I looked down, surprised to see hopeful eyes staring up at me. "Please?"

"What about our game? And what about piano, missy?"

"She can do it later." I looked up, incredulous. Haley was grinning evilly, and I couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across my face. I nodded.

"Okay. We’ll do it."

"Yay!" Kendall jumped up and down. "I’ll get my wallet!" she bellowed, and ran to her room, footsteps stomping all over the house. I smiled, shaking my head.

"Cute kid." Haley crossed her arms over her chest, leaning against the front door. I sighed, nodding.

"Yep. That she is."

* * *

I have to admit, it was odd, driving the twenty minutes or so to the Rochester Mall, Haley sitting at my right, Kendall behind me. Who would have thought? My two passengers talked excitedly about summer break, and how excited Kendall was, not having to go back to school until late August.

"Well, what do you plan to do for another month and a half?" Haley asked, turned in her seat so she could see the girl. I looked at Kendall in the rear-view mirror. She shrugged.

"I’m not sure. I’ve already read all my books for the summer reading club at school."

"Yeah? Tell me about it."

"Well, the kid who reads the most books wins a prize."

"She’s won the past three years." I glanced over at my old friend, a smile of pride on my face. Haley’s brows raised in surprise.

"Really? Wow. I’m really impressed, Kendall."

"Tell her what your prize was last summer, Kendall." Our eyes met in the mirror, and I saw the smile spread across her face.

"I got to pick out ten books from Barnes & Noble."

"Wow! That’s quite a prize. Good for you." Haley turned to me. "You must be proud, obviously you’ve done a good job." I looked at her, my brows drawn. "Well, you’re her mentor, right?"

I saw Kendall’s mouth open to speak as she sat forward a bit on the leather seat.

"Hey, look. Here we are." I pulled the Jeep into the parking lot.

"Yay!"

"She’s already quite the little shopper." I explained to Haley.

"Ah. I see you’ve taught her a great deal, eh?" She grinned, I glared, which got me an even bigger grin.

I parked outside of Dillards, knowing it was the easiest place to find your car, and I was horrible at that. I never paid close enough attention to where I had left my baby, no matter how much I tried to drill it in my head.

Kendall walked between us, her dark hair bouncing as she nearly skipped. Her childish excitement always amazed and grounded me, never allowing me to get too serious. Lord knows I have that problem enough as it is. I sometimes wondered where my fun side had gone. I know I used to have one, and Haley was always good about dragging it out of me. I remember that.

"So, where to first?" I turned to see Haley staring at me as she reached for the large, glass door of the store, holding it open for Kendall and I.

"I don’t know. You’re the one who had the shopping idea, so what are we here for?" She looked at me like I was crazy, following us into the expensive department store.

"Andi. I’m disappointed in you. Do you really ever classify shopping as an event where you’re trying to find needed items?" She grinned, and I heard Kendall chuckle.

"Alright, alright. Guess I’m not up on my shopping etiquette."


* * *

I had no idea a ten-year-old could be so much fun, and with that added Haley’s kid-side, I was in stitches. All day I heard "lighten up, Andi," as I’d roll my eyes at their antics, and childish conversations. They picked out ugly clothes that people had on, or hairstyles.

"You know, Haley, you’re really not teaching her much."

"Well, that’s what her parents are for." She grinned. "That’s the great thing about taking kids out; you can be a nut with them, get them all wound up, and then drop them off at home."

"Do it often, do you?" She put her hand on her hip.

"Listen, lady, I had a very dear friend back in California who had a four-year-old son. Dillon and I had more fun than his mom and I did." I smiled, knowing that was probably very true.

"Come on, you two nuts. Let’s go to the toy store."

"Really?" Kendall smiled huge at me, her eyes shining with hope. I nodded.

"Yes!" She jumped up and down, yelling.

"Kendall, not so loud."

"I can if I want to." I stared at her, shocked at the change of expression; from pure joy to total discontent. Not sure what to say to her increasing back talk, I looked at Haley. She was already looking at me. Mrs. Torrini had told me that she was getting worse. She thought it was the kids at school, and also the fact that she was growing up.

I sighed. "Kendall, please don’t talk to me that way." She looked down, ashamed.

"I’m sorry," she said, looking up at me with her puppy-dog eyes. How could I ever stay angry?

"Come on. The toy store awaits." The smile returned to her pouting lips, and so did mine.

Haley and I followed behind her as she looked at everything, exclaiming how she’d seen this or that on television, and how she was asking for that for her birthday, or for Christmas.

"Ah, to be so young and carefree again." I turned at Haley’s voice, seeing the soft smile on her face, thumbs tucked into the back pockets of her shorts. As I looked at her, I realized just how beautiful she’d gotten. When I thought of her back in school, I had always thought she was the most beautiful person I’d ever seen, and quite frankly she was, but I had no idea how much more her genes were capable of. She had matured, her facial features had lost the softness of being just barely out childhood, all the softness growing into fine, chiseled lines, making her almost look like a sculpted piece of art.

Haley had always been taller than me, and she hadn’t grown much since last I’d seen her, if at all, but her legs somehow looked longer, more defined, incredibly shaped. Her voice was still the low, smooth tone it always was with a smoky quality to it.

I turned back to see Kendall walking toward us, the newest Barbie in her hands.

"Bet you ten bucks she’ll want me to buy that for her," I muttered to Haley. She chuckled.