"You’ll see."

I parked Hannah’s chair near the exit, and hurried out to the parking lot to grab my surprise. He whined and wiggled, but I managed to get back to Hannah, and placed him on her lap.

Hannah sucked in a breath. "A puppy!" I stood aside, watching as she began to pet the dog between the ears, nuzzling him to her chin. "What’s his name?" she asked, smiling up at me, pure, absolute delight in her eyes.

"Hannah, this is Bunsen. Bunsen, meet Hannah."

"Hello, little Bunsen. You are adorable, aren’t you?" The Pug began to yelp, jumping on her lap, doing his best to lick her face as she giggled, trying to avoid the tongue attacks, which made Bunsen try to lick her all the more. "You little nut." She grabbed him under his ribs, turning him over so he laid on her lap on his back, all four legs in the air kicking as he tried to chew on her fingers.

I watched them, a constant smile on my face as Hannah smiled, laughed, played, just like she was a little kid again. Bunsen ate it up, snorting and whining, wanting more and more attention from his new playmate.

Hannah looked up at me, her eyes shining.

"Thank you, Andi. This was wonderful."

"Anytime, Hannah."

I drove home with a good feeling inside, seeing Hannah so happy. I hadn’t seen her smile in so long. She had been so sick lately, really worrying all of us who cared about her. I knew her time was limited, but maybe this would make that time a little longer.

I’d drop by over the weekend for a visit.

* * *

As I walked with Bunsen in the new-found park near our house, the sun high, the kids laughter caught on the breeze, I thought of Winston, my family, and the years I had spent there. My first thoughts had been to leave, to get out, to escape. Why? I certainly hadn’t gotten far. I chuckled at my own thoughts. If I knew then what I knew now, that I’d live not two hours away from my childhood home, the younger me would freak.

Then I thought about the time I’d spent with Haley. Lost time to me, lost memories that I wanted to get back. I felt as though we could easily get that friendship back, that easy laughter and banter that had made my junior year in high school bearable.

She and I had been good friends, I knew that. I couldn’t believe she had taken to the Tae Kwon Do. Part of me felt guilty for not continuing with the piano. It hadn’t been for lack of want, hell, I still wanted to learn more. I tinkered on my own piano now and then. It had been fun and gratifying to know that I could produce something so beautiful with my own two hands. I had only really learned how to play that one song Haley had taught me.

I smiled, finding a park bench, and sitting down, letting Bunsen do his business on the grass.

I still knew that song, and still played it. I had gotten quite good at playing it, in fact. When it’s all you know, well, you know what they say — play what you know.

With a sigh, I glanced over at the small playground. Placed in the middle of it was a sandpit, every kid’s paradise. I remember Chris and I playing in the sandbox we used to have in the backyard.

Why had Haley and my friendship grown so far apart? I guess it was simply because of our age, and where we were in our lives. She left after graduation, and I still had a year left in Winston.

Mom always told me that if I had one true friend in life I was lucky. Tracy and I had lost contact years ago, and I didn’t talk much to my old college buddies, nor old girlfriends. Was Erin right? Would I end up alone? Only my work to comfort me? Did I want that, and could it be helped? I knew that she and I weren’t meant to be, regardless of what happened. But, where did I go wrong in my life to be so isolated? Why did I walk through my days feeling invisible?

With a sigh, I looked down at my dog who sat on his haunches, the leash hanging limp from his collar.

"You ready to go meet grandma, Bunsen?" His little head cocked to the side, his eyes almost disappearing in the blackness of his face. He whined. "Come on, big guy." I gathered him up in my arms, and we headed back home to get the car.

* * *

I closed the door of the Jeep, Bunsen walking ahead of me on his leash, headed to the front door. I had called ahead of time to see if mom was home, and I’d managed to catch her not long after getting home from work.

"Okay, big guy. You ready?" I picked the Pug up, and looked him in his bulging eyes. "You know, you really are a funny looking little dog." Shaking my head in wonder, I gave him a kiss, and opened the door. I smiled, immediately recognizing the smell of brownies. Niiiiice.

"Honey? Is that you?"

"Yep." I headed toward the kitchen, Bunsen in tow. My mother was standing at the sink doing the few dishes it took to bake my favorite dessert, and I walked up behind her. "Mom, I want you to meet your grandchild." She snickered.

"How many are you going to give me?" She turned around, and her face melted into an "O". "Andrea, you got a puppy!"

"Looks like." I smiled proudly.

"Why didn’t you tell me? When did this happen?"

"About a week ago, and I wanted to surprise you." She reached for him.

"Come here, you cutie. What’s her name?" She cuddled him to her chest, nuzzling his head into her neck.

"He, and it’s Bunsen." She looked at me, rolling her eyes.

"Why aren’t I surprised?" I grinned. "Oh, sweetie. I think it’s wonderful. I hate you living all alone out there."

"Yeah, and just what exactly do you think this little one is going to do? Lick someone to death?"

"Well, you never know." She smiled. "Here, take him. I need to finish these few dishes. I made you brownies."

"Oh, yeah. I’m excited about that. Smelled them as soon as I walked through that door." She smiled at me, bringing a hand up to caress my cheek.

"So what’s the occasion? Why are you here?" She folded the dishrag on the edge of the sink. "Come on, let’s have some iced tea."

"Well, there is no occasion, really. I’m here to see you, and I wanted you to meet this little demon." I shrugged as I rubbed the folds on top of Bunsen’s head. "I’ve been doing some thinking."

"What about?" She grabbed the tea pitcher from the fridge, pouring two tall glasses, squeezing lemon juice into hers. Some things never change.

"I left Erin, mom." She looked at me, stopping everything else she was doing.

"Oh, honey." I looked down at my dog who was beginning to fall asleep in my arms. "When?"

"Almost two weeks ago, now." I felt a warm hand on my arm.

"Why didn’t you tell me?" I looked up and into concerned brown eyes, so much like mine but for the color.

"I tried, actually, the day it happened. But the line was busy, and after that, I guess I just needed to deal with it on my own. I needed to face some things, try and understand some things."

"Come on. Let’s sit." She took both glasses, leading me to the small kitchen table, unchanged from the days when I used to do my homework there. I pulled out a chair, resting the now sleeping Bunsen on my lap, and took the glass of tea, sipping from it. "So?"

"Well, we just want different things. Always have."

"Honey, why are you so against committing to someone? I don’t even mean Erin. Lord knows, I know all about making mistakes. I’m made more than my share with relationships, but it’s not just with her." She looked at me, waiting for an answer I just didn’t have. "Why do you hide from people? I look at you, honey, and I see all the love you have to give." She stared into my eyes. "You’re so beautiful, smart, honest, and one of the most generous souls I’ve ever seen. Only you would lend the money to your brother to help him start that garage. Despite what he’s done to you."

I looked down, uncomfortable with the praise, and the memories of Chris.

"He’ll be thrilled to hear that Erin and I have split. He was always happy to hear that."

"Well, if Chris wants to be a jerk about it, let him." I felt her hand cover mine. "Honey, not everyone can be open-minded. It’s his choice, and he can live with it. You two are all that the other will ever have; long after I’m gone, you guys will still be together. Someday he’ll realize that."

"I hope so. It really hurts sometimes." She nodded, squeezing my fingers before she wrapped her own around her glass.

"I’m sure it does, and I’m sorry."

"You didn’t do it."

"No, but he is my son. And you’re my daughter and I love you both with all my heart." I smiled, needing to hear that.

"I love you, too."

"Try to open your heart, Andrea. No one should be alone."

* * *

I sat on the couch, feet up on the coffee table as I stared into the fire. The warm day had shocked the state with a bitter cold that blew in to cool the night. The fireplace was lit, throwing brightness on my face, and reflecting off the floor, stretching the shadows further into the room. Bunsen laid on the rug in front of the fire, contently chewing on his rope.

I thought about my conversation with my mom, smiling at the feeling of being home again. She had tried to get me to stay overnight, but I didn’t want to encroach on her new family, plus I wanted my own bed.

Chris popped into mind, and I felt an old pain rise again in my chest. He had seemed fine when I told him I was a lesbian. I had been twenty-two, and he twenty. But, when I had brought home my first girlfriend, what was her name? Lisa? Lilly? Anyway, his face had hardened, and he hadn’t said one word to her throughout dinner. But he definitely had words for me later.