Susan Mallery - Only His

“I wanted a girls’ night out,” Pia said with a sigh. “But not like this.”

Charity nodded. “It’s so awful.”

Nevada agreed. Jo had been in Fool’s Gold for several years. No one had ever seen her on a date or even showing interest in a guy. And that wasn’t because no one had asked. She’d finally given her heart to someone only to have it trampled.

Annabelle put her arm around Jo. “It’s okay to let it out.”

Jo blew her nose. “I’ve been crying for hours. I’m not sure how much more ‘cried out’ I can get.” She wrapped her arms around herself as if she were cold.

Liz reached for the blanket on the back of the sofa. Annabelle helped her drape it over Jo.

“This is stupid,” Jo said, looking up. “I’m fine.”

“You’re not at your sparkly best,” Pia pointed out. “That’s okay. We’ve all been there. You’ve helped us, now it’s our turn.” She glanced around the room. “Okay, I’ll be the one to ask. What happened?”

The room went quiet as everyone turned to Jo. Nevada settled on an ottoman by Heidi.

Jo’s face tightened. She looked both scared and defiant. Nevada expected her to say she wouldn’t talk about it, but Jo surprised her by saying, “I think it’s time for me to tell all of you about my past.”

Over the next few minutes, she told the story of falling in love and getting in too deep.

“I know what I did was wrong,” she added when she’d explained everything. “That bank manager could have died because of us. Ronnie did die. I can’t take it back and I can’t make it right. I’m not asking to forget. I’ll never do that. I’m not even looking for forgiveness. I just want to stop beating myself up. But maybe I shouldn’t. Maybe serving my time and living with regret isn’t enough.”

“It’s enough,” Montana said firmly. “You made a mistake. It was a horrible one, but you’ve learned, you’ve served your time and now you’re a great part of our community.”

The other women nodded.

“I don’t understand,” Nevada said slowly. “Will is a sweetie. Why would he have acted like that? Why wouldn’t he understand?” She couldn’t reconcile what Jo had told her with the man she knew.

Jo shrugged. “You’d have to ask him.”

Nevada planned to, first thing in the morning. There had to be something else going on. Something they didn’t know.

“Here,” Dakota said, standing and handing Hannah to Jo. “Pregnancy bladder. I’ll be right back.”

Jo started to take the baby, then pushed her back toward Dakota. “I can’t.”

“Why not? You hold her all the time. She adores you.”

That was true, Nevada thought, watching the way the little girl smiled at Jo and waved with excitement.

“You heard what I said,” Jo told her, more tears filling her eyes. “You can’t leave your kid with me after that.”

“Oh, please.” Dakota handed the baby back and walked away.

Jo held Hannah in her arms. “I don’t deserve this.”

“Why not?” Charlie demanded. “You were a kid and you screwed up. In my mind, it’s how we take responsibility that counts. If you were sitting there telling us all the reasons it wasn’t your fault, I’d be pissed. But you know what you did was wrong, you’ve done your time and you’re being a good person now. Isn’t learning to do better the whole point? Don’t we want the people who commit crimes to feel remorse and rejoin society as good citizens?”

Liz squeezed Jo’s arm. “You’re punishing yourself enough for all of us. It’s time to stop.”

“Will doesn’t think so.”

“Will’s a jackass,” Charlie said. “Most men are.”

“I was falling for him,” Jo admitted in a small voice. “I thought…” She sniffed. “I was a fool.”

Seeing her normally strong friend so defeated made Nevada feel as if the balance of the world had shifted. Nothing about this felt right. As soon as she got to work tomorrow, she was going to talk to Will and get it figured out. Yes, what Jo had confessed had been a lot for anyone to take in. But Nevada couldn’t believe he’d walked away without a word. There was a puzzle piece missing and she was going to find it.

THE FOLLOWING MORNING didn’t go as smoothly as Nevada would have liked. She woke up with a hangover, a testament to whomever had made the margaritas. A long shower, coffee and aspirin didn’t do much to take the edge off. The only thing that was going to help was drinking lots of water and the passage of time.

The drive to the job site ended with nearly half a mile of bumpy dirt road. Not only did the ride upset her stomach, it increased the intensity of her headache. By the time she walked into the trailer, she was ready to inflict her pain on others. Luckily, Will was at his desk.

An unwilling victim, she thought grimly. The best kind.

“What were you thinking?” she demanded, her voice a little quieter than she would have liked. Unfortunately, she couldn’t stand to talk any louder. “What is wrong with you? I trusted you with my friend and you hurt her.”

Will stood and faced her. He looked nearly as bad as Jo had, without the proof of tears.

“It’s not what you think,” he told her.

“You beg her to tell you about her past, hear about the mistake she’d made as a kid, and then dump her?”

He shifted from foot to foot. “You don’t understand.”

“Explain it to me.”

He stared at her. “I can’t.”

“You won’t.”

“Same thing.”

“It’s not the same thing. Why are you doing this? Why are you acting like this? It’s not like she’s not sorry. It’s been something like nineteen years and since then, she hasn’t done anything wrong. Who the hell are you to judge her?”

She wanted to hit something, mostly him. She wanted him to get it.

“Are you complaining about the woman she is now?” she demanded. “What part of her character are you judging?”

Tucker was at his desk as well. Although he was listening, he didn’t say anything. Smart man. She would deal with him later.

“You don’t understand,” Will began.

“You’re right, I don’t. Any of this. You might be disappointed in her, but that’s nothing when compared with how disappointed I am in you. I trusted you. Jo trusted you. But you’re a sham and you’re a jerk.”

Will stiffened, but didn’t respond. She turned her back on him and walked over to grab her hard hat.

“Nevada,” Tucker began.

She turned to him. “Really? You want to get in the middle of this?”

He studied her for a second, then shook his head.

She walked to the door and paused, hoping Will would say something. Maybe offer an explanation or an apology. There was only silence, so she left.

“YOU’VE BEEN AVOIDING ME.”

Cat’s words were delivered in a matter-of-fact tone, but still made Nevada wince. Mostly because they were true.

“Things got complicated,” she said by way of feeble excuse. “After the explosion, with the gold being found and everything. There was a lot to coordinate. Then one of my friends was dumped by her boyfriend. It sucks.”

“Men can be pigs,” Cat said.

They were walking through the Halloween Festival, a celebration of all things fall and gifty and spooky. Booths piled with sweaters and jewelry nestled next to carts stacked with pumpkin cookies and caramel apples.

“I agree,” Nevada murmured, thinking she wanted to shake Will until he finally told her why he was being such a butthead. She was also annoyed with Tucker, mostly for standing up for his friend, and being male and guilty by association. Seeing as he was reasonably intelligent, he’d stayed out of her way. A good plan, because she was starting to miss him.

“I’ve been working,” Cat said. “Losing myself in the art. It’s very effective. No matter what I’m feeling, I channel it into what I’m doing. It’s probably why I’ve never had a committed relationship. I’ve never been able to hang on to intense feelings long enough.”

Nevada looked at her. “That’s very insightful.”

Cat smiled. “I have depths.”

“You do.”

The air was crisp and scented with woodsmoke, the sky blue. The leaves had changed and now were falling everywhere. No one could keep up with the piles of crunchy leaves, so they collected in colorful piles.

Cat paused by a booth selling scarves and studied the color. “I’m glad knitting is popular again. Traditional crafts provide a creative outlet for women. As our society increases our connection with technology, we risk losing the simple pleasures that bring beauty to our lives.”

Nevada felt her mouth drop open. She consciously closed it and told herself it would be rude to ask if Cat had had any recent alien encounters. Besides, it was unlikely she’d been possessed by pod people, which meant there had to be another explanation for all the discerning statements made this morning.

Cat picked out a delicately knit scarf in shades of green and put it around Nevada’s neck.

“This color will suit you,” she said. “I know you believe your eyes are brown, but they’re actually made up of dozens of colors. Wearing green close to your face will make your eyes look more hazel.”

“Thank you,” Nevada said, both touched and confused. “I didn’t know that.”

Cat shrugged. “I’m an artist.”

She chose a deep red scarf for herself, then paid the owner.

When they walked away, Cat reached for her hand. “Stop resisting me.”

All the warm fuzzies from the morning fled, leaving behind a vague sense of panic.

Nevada waited until she led them around the carts and booths to the relative quiet of a tidy alley behind the stores on the main street. Then she pulled her hand free and faced Cat.