Riley had had the nightmare before, so he knew when he woke in the clammy darkness, wrapped in a familiar spiderweb of dread, that there would be no more sleep for him that night A glance at the clock-radio on his nightstand told him there was at least an hour or two until dawn. So he’d do as he always did at these times, go downstairs, get himself something to drink, a book to read…maybe take another crack at deciphering that computer setup manual. He’d have to be careful not to disturb anyone-and please, God, let the dog be steeping!-but just to be on the safe side, he put on his robe and belted it securely before opening his bedroom door and tiptoeing like a cat burglar into the hallway.
Once downstairs, he could see a faint light coming from the kitchen. Probably Summer had left one on, he thought, in case she or one of the children needed something in the night. It still gave him an odd feeling, that reminder that he was no longer alone in his house. He didn’t know whether it was a good feeling or a bad one-just that it was odd.
He found that it was the light above the stove that was burning. He didn’t turn on any more-didn’t need even that much to get a glass out of the cupboard and fill it with water from the bottle in the refrigerator, so often had he done those things before under these circumstances. But as he was about to leave the room, his hackles suddenly stirred and prickled with the awareness that he really wasn’t alone. He checked abruptly, and turned to see what his peripheral vision had barely caught a glimpse of-a lone figure sitting at the table in the morning room with the light from the kitchen gleaming in her blond hair.
“Hey.” He changed direction, angling toward her, heart leaping against his throat, water glass in hand. “Couldn’t sleep, either, huh?”
And heard her give a soft, embarrassed laugh. “I was afraid to say anything for fear I’d startle you.”
He gestured toward the mug she was holding between her hands. “What’s that you’re drinking? Hot cocoa?”
She shook her head. “Postum-you probably never heard of it.”
“Huh-I remember buying it-and you’re nght, I’d never heard of it. What is it-a coffee-substitute-type thing?”
She examined the contents of her mug critically, as if they were the result of a scientific experiment she’d just conducted. “I guess it can be, if you make it with water. If you make it with milk and sugar, though, it’s more like cocoa, only no caffeine. My mother used to make it for us when we were kids.” She shrugged. “The children like it. It makes a nice nighttime drink. Sort of comforting.”
“Sounds like just the ticket,” Riley murmured, taking a sip from his water glass.
“Oh-would you like some? I’ll get-” And she was already half out of her chair.
“No, you won’t.” Riley kept her where she was with a hand on her shoulder and put his water glass on the table. “I’m perfectly able to get it myself. What’d you do, microwave it?”
She gave a quick little nod; he could feel her edginess, a coiled-spring tension in the shoulder beneath his hand. “It works best if you dissolve the stuff in a little boiling water first, then add as much milk and sugar as you want and warm it up to however you like it.”
He nodded. “I think I can handle that.” He gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze and left her.
As the space between them widened to a more bearable distance, Summer lifted her mug, carefully cradled between her two hands, held it to her lips and took a long swallow, then rested it against her chin and let the fragrant steam, evocative of the security of childhood, warm and comfort her. It would have been nice, she thought, if Postum could somehow warm the cold and still the shivering she still felt deep inside. But it was plain the beverage’s healing powers could only reach so far.
She watched Riley over the rim of the mug as he worked at the kitchen counter-shoulders broad and hips narrow underneath the navy silk robe, feet and calves bare and oddly defenseless. He was favoring the bruised one… She saw his dark head bending low and intent over the mug as he spooned and poured and stirred, noticing the way the hair grew on the back of his neck and fell unevenly over the wound in his scalp… And like a sneaky wave, a vision surprised her, washed over her and engulfed her…a vision of the way he’d looked last evening, bending down to kiss her children good-night. Oh, God, my poor children. Cold erupted from wells deep inside her to spread the shivers throughout her body. She felt an almost overwhelming desire to cry. Oh, God, please, she prayed silently, don’t let them grow fond of him. Or me, either… But already she knew it was too late.
She had to blink several times rapidly and sneak deep breaths to restore herself as he came strolling back, taking cautious and judicious sips of his Postum. After giving it a little shrug of at least tentative approval, he said, “Well, that was quite a day yesterday.”
And Summer could only think how vital and sexy he looked, with his beard stubble and his hair in rakish disarray-more Rhett Butler this morning than Cinderella’s Prince.
She tried to maintain a smile in return, but it collapsed miserably and she had to look away. She felt him come close to her, set his mug on the table. Heard his voice ask softly, “What’s the matter?” And felt his fingers in her hair. She drew a long, shuddering breath and then held herself still… very still. And after a few moments that seemed like an eternity, she felt him pull his hand away and sit down.
“Summer?”
“Riley-” she cleared her throat, cleared it again, shook her head, touched her lips with her fingertips…but there was no way to make it sound like anything but what it was… a desperate, desperate plea “-we can’t stay here.”
One eyebrow rose, confirming the Rhett Butler look. “Why’s that?”
“We just can’t.”
His voice grew softer, almost gentle. “May I ask what brought this on?”
What brought this on? My God-yesterday I almost lost my child! And I almost lost my head-over you, dammit. Over you! She shifted, angry suddenly, and overwhelmed by guilt. “That’s obvious, isn’t it? We’re destroying your life.” And she felt slightly foolish, but much more in control when he laughed.
“That’s being a bit melodramatic.”
“So is that,” she replied softly, her eyes sliding upward to the purplish knot on his forehead, clearly visible just above the hairline.
He touched it, shrugged dismissively and leaned back in his chair with one arm resting on the tabletop. Summer recognized the position instantly; it was the one he’d adopted the day he’d interviewed her in his office. A position of relaxed and confident authority. “Well now,” he said in the quiet lawyer’s drawl she remembered, “maybe this is somethin’ we oughta discuss.”
A week ago, that calm tone had filled her with hope; now it prodded her temper and her fragile emotions like a tongue on a sore tooth. “There’s nothing to discuss,” she said flatly. I came so close yesterday…so close. What if it happens again? I’m afraid I wouldn’t be able to resist you “We simply cannot impose on you this way. We can’t.”
She hadn’t even finished before Riley grimaced and made an irritable shooing gesture, as if waving off a tormenting insect “Didn’t we have this conversation? I thought we’d covered all this the other night, over at the FBI headquarters.”
Her body jerked involuntarily, almost a physical rejection. “I was in a state of shock! I should never have let you convince me. Look-this is insane. Look at the way you live-”
“What? I live a very simple life.”
“Oh, yeah, right-you came to pick us up in a tuxedo, for God’s sake!”
“Oh, well-”
“And all this-your home…”
He was peering around with exaggerated eagerness, as if looking for a hidden surprise. “What about it?”
Summer knew a stone wall when she saw it She sat for a moment, breathing quietly to dampen her frustration and restore her customary patience. She knew she was right; she just had to convince him, somehow. Slowly and patiently, she began, “It’s beautiful. It’s elegant, and classy, and rich-”
“It’s got six extra bedrooms…”
“Hush. I mean it It’s beautiful, Riley. You know it is-you’ve obviously spent considerable time, money and effort making it so. These things-your paintings, the furnishings-even that pool, with all the plants and flowers, are like a little piece of paradise.”
He grinned. “I’m glad you like it.”
She wanted to hit him. “Will you stop it? I’m serious. It’s obvious all this is important to you, as it should be, or else why do you protect it the way you do-all this security?” When he didn’t seem to have a flip answer to that, she took the moment to rein in her emotions, then continued in a calm, reasoning tone, “And it’s just as obvious that a woman with two kids, a dog, a cat and a parrot do not exactly fit into this picture, if you see what I mean. We just do not belong here.” We can’t ever belong here. And if I were foolish enough to fall in love with you…
He was silent for a long time, regarding her steadily and somehow unnervingly, almost as if he’d read her thoughts. His jaw was propped in a cradle made of the index and little fingers of one hand-another pose she remembered. Finally, in a voice utterly devoid of inflection, he said, “What is it about me that makes you think ‘all this’ would be of greater importance to me than the safety and well-being-the life-of my client?”
And it was she who was silenced. Suddenly and unmistakably he was her lawyer again, and she felt foolish and ridiculous to have imagined she might ever be anything else to him but a client Whatever in the world had made her think she could argue with him, anyway? He was the great Riley Grogan, the man who in court had reduced her to the role of brainless bimbo. Right now she felt just as bogged down and trapped as she had on that dreadful day, as he continued to subject her to his hard, unreadable stare. But with one difference. Now, for all his outward appearance of authority, she had the distinct impression that she’d touched a nerve in him. That in some unfathomable way she’d even hurt him.
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