Perhaps I could go to the Damenstift . offer myself as a teacher of English as I had thought of doing once before. But I wanted to stay here; I was growing fond of the children, particularly Fritz. The restricted life in a convent was not appealing; its only virtue would be that I was here near that enchanted forest where once long ago I had walked into a dream . or was it reality?

I spent a sleepless night and the next morning when I was in the turret-room with the children, while we were at the window practising English vocabulary, we saw a little cavalcade of riders; they were coming up the mountain road which led to Klocksburg.

Dagobert shouted: “It’s my father.”

My spirits sank. He had wasted little time.

I said the boys should go to their rooms to wash their hands and prepare to receive him. I went to mine to prepare myself for the worst.

I was summoned down to the Rittersaal. I left the fortress, crossed the courtyard and entered the Randhausburg. My knees were trembling but I held my head high and I knew there was an unusual colour in my cheeks. I hope I did not show how agitated I was. I tried to calm myself. I was telling myself: You will be dismissed, but if they don’t want you, you could stay on for a while living humbly perhaps in some mountain inn and then perhaps teach at the Damenstift.

He was seated there alone and rose when I entered. He bowed from the waist as the boys did, clicking his heels as he did so. He looked magnificent in the uniform of the Duke’s guards. I felt like a drab little wren beside a peacock.

“Miss er ” he began.

Trant,” I supplied.

“Miss Trant, we met for the first time yesterday.”

His English was good, there was only the faintest trace of accent. His voice unnerved me; it was very like Maximilian’s.

“You are here to teach my children English,” he went on.

“That is so.”

“They do not appear to have made much progress.”

“On the contrary I would say that they are making excel lent progress.

They only had a word or two of the language when I arrived, their education in that direction having been entirely neglected. “

I was bold. I felt I had nothing to lose. He had determined to be rid of me; and because I found his bold glance I offensive I could not prevent my voice taking on a firmness which I knew he would think of as insolent.

He sat down at the refectory table on which pewter utensils stood.

“You may sit,” he said.

I did so because although I resented the manner in which he gave me permission to do so, I could see that I should be at a disadvantage if I remained standing.

“So you found the children ignorant?” he said.

“As regards English, certainly.”

“And since you have come they have made such rapid progress in this that when I asked them to tell me in English what they had thought of yesterday’s performance they were completely tongue-tied.”

“That might well be beyond their powers at present.”

“It was not beyond your powers to let us know what you thought.”

“I suppose I gave a good indication.”

“You left us in no doubt that you considered us a country of barbarians.”

He waited for my reply but I made none. He insisted, That was so? “

“I found the spectacle revolting.”

Indeed? “

“Is it so surprising?”

“Ah, English susceptibilities! Your Queen was equally un impressed or perhaps impressed. I was present when she was entertained over here. Her remarks were identical.

“Butchery she said.”

“Then I was in noble company.”

You do not seem to set much store by that. You were in noble company yesterday but you behaved in an exceedingly discourteous manner. If it were not for the fact that you are a foreigner and can plead ignorance, it might be necessary to reprimand you very severely. “

“I realize that I have committed a breach of etiquette and for that I apologize.”

“That is indeed gracious.”

“Had I known what I was expected to witness I should not have come.”

“You were commanded to come.”

“Still I should have declined.”

“Those who serve us do not decline to obey commands.”

“I suppose not, and there is only one thing to do if one finds such commands unacceptable, which is to resign from the service.”

“Is that what you are doing, Miss Trant?”

“If it is your wish that I should do so, I have no alternative.”

“There is an alternative. You could plead to be forgiven. I might say you are a stranger, ignorant of our etiquette. Apologies could be made to the Princess, the Countess and other members of the court. On grounds of ignorance you might be forgiven, providing of course that you promise not to offend again.”

“I could not give such a promise. If I were asked to witness that sickening spectacle once more I should be obliged to refuse.”

“On your own behalf, perhaps. But you carried my sons with you. Do you imagine that I can allow you to inst il into them ideas that are detrimental to their manhood?”

I had visions of his forcing Fritz to witness such scenes, of trying, as he would say, to ‘make a man of him’. No wonder the poor child was nervous; no wonder he walked in his sleep. I was ready to fight for Fritz as I had not been to fight for myself.

I said earnestly: “Fritz is a sensitive boy.”

“Why?” he cried.

“Because he has been brought up by women?”

“Because he has a highly-strung nature.”

“My dear Miss Trant, I have no patience with highly-strung natures. I want to make a man of the boy.”

“Is it manly to gloat over the slaughter of beautiful animals?”

“What strange ideas you have! I think perhaps you might do;| very well in a select academy for young ladies.”

“Perhaps,” I said.

“And you are telling me that I am dismissed? If that is so, I will make my preparations to leave at once.”

He stood up and came to my chair. He sat on the table very close to me.

“You are of a hasty nature. Miss Trant. I do not think impetuous people make good teachers.”

“Very well. I will go.”

“But / have no personal objection to that characteristic.”

“I am glad I do not displease you in all respects.”

“It is not you who displease me. Miss Trant. It is your action yesterday.”

I half rose. His great virility alarmed me at such close quarters. He was so like Maximilian and yet there was the subtle difference. Had I been with him that night in the hunting lodge I would never have been allowed to remain alone on the other side of that locked door. That was something I knew instinctively.

“I see that I have offended you,” I said quickly.

“There is no need to continue this interview. I will go.”

“You make a custom of taking your leave unexpectedly. It is my custom to give permission for those whom I employ to come or go.”

“I presume I am no longer in your employ so that does not apply to me.”

I turned away but he was beside me. I could feel his warm breath on my neck. He caught my forearm in a tight grip.

“You will stay,” he said. Then he smiled, his eyes slightly veiled as they swept over me.

“I have decided that you shall have another chance,” he went on.

I faced him boldly.

“I warn you that in similar circumstances I should act in the same way.”

We’ll see,” he said.

I took his hand from my arm and dropped it hastily; he was so surprised that he made no effort to check me.

I said: “Whenever you wish me to leave your employ, please say so.”

And with that I walked out of the Rittersaal. I crossed the courtyard and entered the fortress. I was trembling but I felt elated as though I had won a battle, which perhaps in a way I bad, because at least I was still employed at Klocksburg.

I sat by my window letting the air cool my cheeks. The encounter had shaken me because the bold message in the Count’s eyes had told me he had marked me down for a victim. I was experienced enough to recognize his intentions. I was surprised. I had ceased to think of myself as an attractive woman. I knew I had been in my teens, with my somewhat inconsequential high spirits, my masses of dark hair and perhaps most of all my vivacious expression. But when I had believed myself to be married and had borne a child (at least I could be sure of that) and lost it, I had changed. I knew the change was remarkable because Mrs. Greville and Aunt Matilda often said to me: “I’ve never seen anyone change as you did when you came back from that long stay abroad.”

My gaiety had been overshadowed; the tremendous doubt was there. I had loved and lost my husband and my child; and who could be the same after such an experience?

Anthony, it was true, had asked me to marry him. I realized I had scarcely thought of him since I had left England. He had written twice-letters full of details about the parish and his work. I should have been interested a short while ago, but I had found my attention wandering even while I had been reading them.

Ever since I had come to Klocksburg I had felt an excitement that I had not known since I had awakened in my bed to be told that my marriage had been a dream, the result of Dr. Carlsberg’s treatment.

There was a firm belief within me that if ever I was to find the solution to my mystery I should find it here. For a second when I had seen the Count I had believed I had found it. But that was a delusion; and now this very count was becoming an obstacle in my way.