Drawing a breath, he steeled himself, and picked up the first sheet.

Martin, my son-I was wrong. So wrong. In my arrogance and…

He had to stop, look up, force himself to breathe. His hand was shaking; he put the letter down-rose, paced to the window, wrestled with the latch and threw the sash up. Leaned out, welcomed the rush of cool valley air. Breathed deeply. Steadied his whirling wits.

Then, returning to the desk, he sat, picked up the letter and read every word.

Reaching the end, he stared at the door as the past as he'd known it disintegrated, then re-formed. He closed his eyes, for long moments sat absolutely still, imagining…

What the break must have meant to his mother.

What that, and the guilt and anguish poured out in the letter, must have done to his father. His righteous, always so concerned over doing the correct thing-being seen to have done the correct thing-father.

Eventually, he opened his eyes and read the rest of the letters. The last included an enclosure from his mother, written just before her death. In it, she pleaded with him to forgive them both and return so his father could right the wrong he'd done. Her words, more than any, left him shattered.

He was still sitting in the chair behind the desk, those letters and others before him, the shadows lengthening on the floor, when the door opened.

Amanda looked in, hesitated. Emotion hung heavy in the room, not threatening, yet… closing the door quietly, she crossed to Martin's side.

He heard her, glanced up, blinked-he hesitated, then put out one arm and drew her near. Leaned his head against her side. The arm around her tightened.

"They knew."

She couldn't see his face. "That you weren't the murderer?"

He nodded. "They realized within a few days, and sent off posthaste after me. But…"

"But what? If they knew, why were you banished all these years?"

He dragged in a shaky breath. "They'd arranged for me to go to the Continent, where all wealthy, titled scoundrels go when England gets too dangerous. But I decided if my father was effectively disowning me, then I didn't need to follow his instructions. Instead of going to Dover and then to Ostend, I went to Southampton. The first boat to sail went to Bombay. I didn't care where I went as long as it was far from England. From here."

"They couldn't find you?"

He flicked the pile of letters. "They sent couriers and others to search, but they never caught up with me because they were looking on the wrong continent. If they'd tried India, they'd have found me-I wasn't incognito."

With one hand, she smoothed his hair. "But surely someone in London who'd visited or had dealings with India-"

He shook his head violently. "No-that's the worst part." His voice sounded raw. She felt him draw breath. "They waited here-for me. It was like a form of penance-instead of living their lives as usual, going down for the Season, visiting friends, the shooting and hunting, they stayed here, in this house. From the day I left to the day they died, as far as I can tell they were here, waiting for me to come back and forgive them."

And I never did.

He didn't need to say the words; Amanda could hear them in his mind. His arm tightened about her; he turned his face to her side, for one moment blindly clung.

She stroked his head, tried but couldn't cope with the feelings-the empathy, the sympathy, the sheer frustration that all this-so much sadness-had come to pass. All because of one cowardly man. Whoever he was.

That last occurred to Martin. He disengaged, drawing Amanda down to sit on the padded chair arm. Lifting the stacked letters, he returned them to the drawer, then slid it shut.

What's done is done-the past is dead and buried.

He couldn't go back and make his peace with his parents, but he could avenge them-and Sarah, even Buxton-see that whoever had destroyed their lives was brought to justice, then go on as his parents would have wanted and hoped he would.

He refocused. "I came here to find my father's entertaining ledger. He was a regimented man, exact, precise. He kept a book with all those invited for each family gathering, and marked down who turned up and when. He used to keep it in this desk…"

It was in the bottom drawer. He lifted it out, blew off the dust, then flicked through the pages.

"One thing I don't understand-if they knew, why didn't your parents clear your name?"

He glanced up, saw her concern for him in her eyes, managed a fleeting halfsmile. "It's in the letters. My father imagined making a formal declaration-a grand gesture before all the ton. It was the sort of thing he would do, in expiation.

But he wanted me there, by his side, when he did it." He looked back at the ledger. "He died unexpectedly."

The matter had been too painful a subject, a guilt so deep his father had not been able to face it, not without the promise of absolution his presence would have given.

"How did you hear that he'd died, that you could return?"

"After a few years away, I engaged a London solicitor to watch over my interests here. It was from him I learned of my mother's death, and more recently of… my father's."

His tone alerted her; she glanced at the ledger. "What?"

It took a moment before he could say, "I told you my father loved family gatherings. After that Easter, there are no further entries."

No further gatherings. They'd lived here, all alone, completely cut off from family and friends, as he had been. He sighed, felt the blame and the bitterness, his companions for years, dissipate, flow away; his parents had suffered far more than he.

Jaw setting, he placed the ledger open on the table. "This is the list of all those who attended that Easter."

They pored over it, then turned back to the list for the previous New Year. Notations against the names indicated when various guests had arrived. Amanda hunted out a fresh sheet of paper and a pencil.

"Give me the name of every male of your mother's line who was here that New Year, on the second, then again at Easter, on the right date. Don't judge, don't exclude-we'll do that later."

He picked up the ledger, sat back and obliged. Then they culled the list of those who, due to age or some other reason, could not have been the murderer.

"Twelve." Amanda considered the list. "So he's one of these men. Now, what else do we know of him?"

Martin took the list, ran his eye down it. "You can cross off Luc and Edward."

She took the list back, obliterated Luc's name, then hesitated. "How old was Edward at the time?"

"He's almost two years younger than Luc… he would have been sixteen, almost seventeen."

"Hmm."

"You can't seriously imagine he did it." Martin reached for the list.

Amanda whisked it out of reach. "We have to be logical about this. I agree about Luc, but only because in full daylight no one could possibly confuse you. But Edward?" She raised a brow. "Think back-what was Edward like at sixteen?"

Martin looked at her, eyes narrowing, then waved. "Have it your way-leave Edward on the list for the moment."

Amanda humphed. Edward had the same coloring as Martin, and while she wouldn't have said they were that similar now, then…? If he'd been anything like the males in her family, by sixteen, Edward would have been nearly full grown. Easy enough to mistake at a distance.

Not that she seriously believed he'd done anything so horrible, but keeping stuffily righteous Edward's name on their list, having eliminated Luc's, seemed-however childishly-satisfying. "Very well. Now we need to check with the others who were here that Easter, and eliminate those gentlemen others can remember being with at the time of the murder."

Martin looked at her. "How's Reggie?"

She grinned. "Much better, and quite ready to travel back to London."

Martin rose. He rounded the desk to join her. "That's one other thing we know about our man. He was on the Great North Road two nights ago."

She let him turn her to the door. "Actually, that's several things."

He raised a brow at her.

"Our man was someone who knew you were headed up the Great North Road two nights ago-but not why, and not in what carriage."

Chapter 21

After making arrangements to leave the next morning, they retired early to their beds. Arms crossed, coatless, cravatless, shoulder propped against the frame, Martin stood at the bay window of the earl of Dexter's bedchamber and watched moonlight and shadows drift over the valley. Let the sight sink into him, along with an acceptance that the title, the room, the house, the fields he could see spread out before him, were now his.

His responsibility, his to care for.

Acceptance brought the first hint of peace-a peace he hadn't believed would ever again be his, that hadn't touched his soul for the past ten years.

It was within his grasp once more, all because he'd chased a golden-haired houri up the Great North Road. She'd been his beacon, the light that had drawn him first from the shadows, and now further, back into the life he'd been reared to consider his destiny.

Without her, he wouldn't be here. She'd given his future back to him. Intended to be an integral part of it.

His lips quirked. He thought back over the past weeks, over the vacillations, the qualifications. None seemed important anymore; they both knew where they were headed.

Thinking of her had the inevitable effect, knowing he could go to her, now, tonight, and she would open her arms to him, welcome him…