‘At least you’re trying,’ I said. ‘My mother would be delighted if I gave up my job to channel angels or dowse for fairy paths. I don’t think she even knows what “career” means.’
We were passing a burger bar just then, and as the smell of barbecued meat wafted out Phin stopped and sniffed appreciatively. ‘Mmm, junk food…!’ His eyes glinted as he looked down at me. ‘Are you still hungry?’
‘What? After all those delicious alfalfa sprouts? How can you even ask?’
We took our burgers away and sat on the steps in front of the National Gallery, looking down over Trafalgar Square. It was a bright February day, and an unseasonal warmth in the air taunted us with the promise of spring.
I was certainly feeling a lot better than I had earlier that morning. I was still a bit fuzzy round the edges but my headache had almost gone. Perhaps my mother’s crystal was working after all.
‘What are you doing?’ Phin demanded as I unwrapped my burger and separated the bun carefully.
‘I don’t like the pickle,’ I said, picking it out with a grimace and looking around for somewhere to dispose of it.
‘Here, give it to me,’ he said with a roll of his eyes, and when I passed it over he shoved it into his own burger and took a huge bite.
‘See-we’re like a real couple already,’ he said through a mouthful.
I wished he hadn’t reminded me of the crazy pretence we’d embarked upon the night before. I couldn’t believe I’d actually agreed to it. I kept waiting for Phin to tell me that it was all a big joke, that he’d just been having me on.
‘Did you really tell Lex that we were going out?’
‘Uh-huh.’ He glanced down at me. ‘I told him that we were madly in love.’
I wanted to look away, but my eyes snagged on his and it was as if all the air had been suddenly sucked out of my lungs. Held by the blueness and the glinting laughter, I could only sit there and stare back at him, feeling giddy and yet centred at the same time.
It was a very strange sensation. I was acutely aware of the coldness of the stone steps, of the breeze in my face and the smell of the burger in my hands.
I did eventually manage to wrench my gaze away, but it was an effort, and I had to concentrate on my breathing as I watched the tourists milling around the square. They held their digital cameras at arm’s length, posing by the great stone lions or squinting up at Nelson on his column. A squabble erupted amongst the pigeons below us, and my eyes followed the red buses heading down Whitehall, but no matter where I looked all I saw was Phin’s image, as if imprinted behind my eyelids: the mobile mouth with its lazy lop-sided smile, the line of his cheek, the angle of his jaw.
When had he become so familiar? When had I learnt exactly how his hair grew? When had I counted the creases at the edges of his eyes?
There was a yawning feeling in the pit of my stomach. Desperately I tried to conjure up Jonathan’s image instead, but it was hopeless.
‘What did Lex say?’ I asked, struggling to sound normal. ‘Did he believe you?’
‘Of course he did. Why wouldn’t he?’
‘You’ve got to admit that we make an unlikely couple.’
‘Your mother doesn’t think so,’ Phin reminded me.
‘My mother believes that fairies dance around the flowers at dawn,’ I pointed out. ‘The word “unlikely” doesn’t occur in her vocabulary.’
‘Well, Lex didn’t seem at all surprised-except maybe that you would fall in love with me.’ Phin crumpled the empty paper in his hand. ‘He seemed to think that you were too sensible to do anything like that. He’s obviously never seen you drinking pomegranate martinis!’
I flushed. If I never touched a martini again, it would be too soon.
‘I would have thought he’d be more surprised that you’d be in love with me,’ I said, finishing my own burger.
Phin shrugged. ‘I’m always falling in and out of love. I suspect he’s more worried that I might hurt you. He knows I’m not the settling down type. When you dump me for Jonathan, he’ll probably be relieved.’
CHAPTER SIX
THE Glitz interview was scheduled for the next day.
Phin lived just off the King’s Road, in one of those houses I have long coveted, with painted brick and colourful doors. That morning, though, I was in no mood to admire the prettiness of the street, or the window boxes filled with early daffodils that adorned the cottages on either side. I was feeling ridiculously nervous as I stood on the steps outside his door-a bright red-and I wasn’t even sure why.
Except that’s not quite true. I did know why. It was because of this crazy pretence we had agreed on. I couldn’t understand how I had let myself get sucked into it. It was utter madness. And it would never work. I should just accept that Jonathan didn’t love me and move on.
But instead I was committed to pretending to be Phin’s girlfriend. It was too late to change my mind. Phin had told Lex that we were madly in love-just imagining a conversation like that with our dour Chief Executive made my mind boggle-and now everybody knew.
Phin had rested his hand against casually against my neck as we’d waited for the lifts on our way back from Trafalgar Square. I knew he was only doing it so that Michaela at Reception would see and pass the word around-she had, and I’d only been back at my desk five minutes when Ellie was on the phone demanding to know what was going on-so there was no reason for my nape to be tingling still, no reason for me to be tense and jittery.
But I was.
Well, I had to get on with it. Drawing a deep breath, I rang the bell.
The door opened as suddenly as a slap, and there was Phin, smiling at me, in faded jeans and a T-shirt. His feet were bare, his hair rumpled, and he was in need of a shave. He looked a mess, in fact, but all at once there wasn’t enough air to breathe and my mouth dried.
I badly wanted to retreat down the steps, but pride kept me at the top. ‘Hi,’ I said, horrified to hear how husky my voice sounded.
‘Hey,’ said Phin, and before I realised what he meant to do he had kissed me on the mouth.
It was only a brief brush of the lips, the casual kind of kiss a man like Phin would bestow a hundred times at a party, but my pulse jolted as if from a massive bolt of electricity. So that’s what it’s like being struck by lightning. I swear every hair on my body stood up.
‘What was that for?’ I asked unsteadily.
‘Just getting into character,’ he said cheerfully. ‘I hadn’t realised the perks of promoting G &G’s family-friendly image until now. Who would have thought it would be so much fun keeping Lex happy?’
He stood back and held the door open. ‘Come on in and see where we’re having our wild affair.’
We won’t be able to keep our hands off each other. I remembered Phin answering my stupid question about how we would go about having an affair. The moment we’re through the front door I’ll start kissing you, and you’ll kiss me back. You’ll fall back against the door and pull me with you…
Now I couldn’t help glancing at the door as I passed, couldn’t help imagining what it would be like to feel the hard wood digging into my back, the weight of Phin’s body pressing me against it, his mouth on mine, his hands hot and hungry.
I swallowed hard. I had no intention of giving Phin the satisfaction of knowing how that casual kiss had affected me, but it was difficult when I still had that weird, jerky, twitchy, shocked feeling beneath my skin.
It wasn’t a very big house. Clearly it had once been a cottage, but the kitchen had been extended at the back with a beautiful glass area, and on a sunny February morning it looked bright and inviting.
‘Nice house,’ I managed, striving for a nonchalant tone that didn’t quite come off.
‘I can’t take any credit for it,’ said Phin. ‘It was like this when I bought it. I wanted somewhere that didn’t need anything doing to it. I’m not into DIY or nest-building.’
‘Or tidying, by the looks of it,’ I said as I wandered into the living room. Two smaller rooms that had been knocked into one, it ran from the front of the house to the back, where dust motes danced in the early spring sunshine that shone in through the window.
It could have been a lovely room, but there was stuff everywhere. A battered hat sat jauntily on the back of an armchair. The sofa was covered with newspapers. Books were crammed onto a low table with dirty mugs, empty beer cans and a water purification kit.
I clicked my tongue disapprovingly. ‘How on earth do you ever find anything?’
‘I’ve got a system,’ said Phin.
‘Clearly it doesn’t involve putting anything away!’
He made a face. ‘There never seems much point. As far as I’m concerned, this is just somewhere to pack and unpack between trips.’
‘What a shame.’ It seemed a terrible waste to me. ‘I’d love to live somewhere like this,’ I said wistfully. ‘This is my fantasy house, in fact.’
‘The one you’re saving up for?’
The chances of me ever being able to afford a house in Chelsea were so remote that I laughed. ‘Fantasy, I said! I’m saving for a studio at the end of a tube line, which will be all I can afford. And I’ll be lucky if I can do that with London prices the way they are. But if I won the Lottery I’d buy a house just like this,’ I said, turning slowly around and half closing my eyes as I visualised how it would be. ‘I’d paint the front door blue and have window boxes at every window.’
‘What’s wrong with red?’
‘Nothing. It’s just that when I was a kid and used to dream about living in a proper house it always had a blue door, and I always swore that if I ever had a home of my own the door would be blue. I’d open it up, and inside it would be all light and stripped floorboards and no clutter…like this room could be if there wasn’t all this mess!’
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