“So what do you think?” Jaxon asks me after he’s made the epic announcement.

I tuck my drumsticks into the back pocket of my jeans as I search the garage for where I left my jacket. “I think it rocks. But what I’m wondering is how the hell you managed to get them to let us open for them.”

“He’s got connections,” Spalding calls out as he unplugs his guitar from the amp. He’s got longer hair, too, like Jaxon, only his is jet black. He has a pierced eyebrow and colorful artwork is tattooed all over his arms to create full sleeves. He’s got gauges in his ears and he’s also wearing all black, but that’s normal for him.

Nikko snorts a laugh as he puts his guitar away. He’s got short hair that sort of spikes up at the top and his eyes are crazy intense because if you stare at them long enough they almost look gold. His taste in clothes is a little bit more eccentric. Right now he’s wearing this bright-red fitted shirt and these baggy black pants with zippers and buckles all over the front. His black boots have gray skeletons on them and his fingernails are black. He’s the baby of the group, only eighteen; he’s also Jaxon’s cousin.

“The only reason we got the gig is because Jaxon hung out with Stella.” Nikko laughs under his breath and then sticks out his tongue, making an obscene gesture with his fingers, and Spalding rolls his eyes.

“Children.” Spalding shakes his head and I laugh. Spalding’s twenty-two, but he acts like he’s thirty, which from the tidbits of information I picked up from Jaxon is because he became the legal guardian of his sister when he was eighteen. I’m not sure why, though, and I don’t have the lady balls to ask because, more than likely, there’s a tragic story behind it.

“Shut the fuck up,” Nikko says hotly as he picks up a bottle of water from the top of one of the speakers. “You’re only four years older than me, dumbass.” He takes a swig of the water and then sets it back down.

They start arguing and I turn to Jaxon as I pick up my jacket up off the floor in the corner of the garage. “So did you get the gig because of Stella?” I dare ask. Stella is the owner of Black & Red Ink, the place where we’ll be playing, and a very popular club in the potato state.

He shakes his head, getting a little bit uneasy as he pretends to search for something behind the freezer. “No… well, yeah, I mean she’s how I got the gig, but I didn’t like sleep with her or anything.” He turns in a circle as he looks around at the floor. “Have you seen my cell phone?”

“Yeah… it’s in your hand.” I hate the awkwardness between us, but until Lea and he can come to terms with their breakup, I think it’ll always be there, especially since I have a hunch she was out on a date earlier today.

He glances down at the phone in his hand and then shakes his head. “Sorry, I guess I’m tired or something.”

I offer him a smile. “Yeah, it happens sometimes.” I slip my arms through the sleeves of my jacket and then take the drumsticks from my pocket. “So what time are we practicing tomorrow?”

“About six,” he says, checking his cell phone screen. “I know we usually do it earlier, but I have to go out with the family for an early Christmas dinner.”

“Early Christmas dinner?” I ask as I zip up my jacket. “But Christmas is in three days, so why don’t they just wait two extra days?”

“Yeah. I’m going to be gone for Christmas and my parents think they need to have an early one for me,” he says. “I’m flying out to New York with Spalding to hang with his family for the holidays.”

“Oh. Well, I’m glad my parents don’t want to have a makeup dinner for me,” I say, ignoring the bang as Nikko bumps into one of the cymbals. “I mean, I love going home and everything, but I can’t go anywhere right now. Not when I just picked up some extra hours at work. Plus the band and our stellarly awesome gig we just got on New Year’s eve.” There’s also the fact that Tristan won’t go home and I don’t want to leave him here for almost a month. My mom’s planning on coming out after New Year’s so everything should work out.

The corners of his lips quirk. “I’m glad to see where we are on your list of importance.”

“Hey, you guys are totally important,” I say, heading for the door. “However, my job pays the bills and my education will hopefully be able to pay the bills in the future.”

“What? You’re not planning on becoming a rock star?” he jokes as he follows me, weaving around my pink drum set, the one Landon gave to me on my birthday years ago. It’s sad he never got to see me perform, just practice. He didn’t get to see a lot of things, which makes me even sadder. But it’s an obstacle that I’ve overcome and I can find solace in playing now.

I pause, contemplating what he said. “I’m honestly not sure what I’ll do… what about you?”

“I’m not sure either,” he says. “I mean, I’m majoring in general education so I have no idea what the hell I’m going to do with that or if I want to do anything with it at all.” He hurries to my side and opens the door to the wash-room for. “Honestly, if I could make a living singing, I would, but there’s a slim chance that’ll ever happen.”

“Maybe you’ll be one of the lucky ones.” I step into the room and breathe in the warm air and faint scent of cookies flowing from the kitchen.

“Maybe,” he says, but doesn’t seem too optimistic. And I don’t blame him. There is very little chance that he’ll be able to actually become a famous rock star. Life doesn’t work that way. You can try and try but it doesn’t mean you’ll get what you want. You just have to make do with what you have.

He continues to walk me to the front door and I’m hoping he’ll say good-bye to me there, since Lea’s outside. But he doesn’t and ends up walking out with me to the driveway, where Lea is waiting in my car.

She gets out to let me drive and tenses as her eyes meet Jaxon’s and Jaxon freezes in the middle of the frosted lawn. No one speaks and I can hear Christmas carolers down the street singing a very cheerful “Joy to the World.”

“Hey,” she says, cracking the tension like the ice on the ground. She glances around at the yard, the front door, the garage, pretty much everywhere but at him.

“You cut your hair,” he says, his brows knitting as he takes in the sight of her as she steps around to the front of the car. “It looks good.”

Lea touches a strand of her hair, finally looking at him. I remember that when I first met them, over a year ago, there was a sparkle in her eye every time she looked at him, but it’s not there anymore and that makes me sad. What makes me even sadder is that I wonder if that’s how Landon and I would have gotten if he were still alive. Would we have gotten to this point? I believed at the time that we’d always be together, but it’s hard to say now, especially when my feelings for Quinton are so strong.

“Thank you,” she says formally, her hand falling to her sides as she reclines back against the front of my car and crosses her arms. “I thought it was time for a change.”

That comment makes Jaxon sad. I can see it in his fallen expression and the way his shoulders sort of slump in. “Yeah, change is good, I guess,” he mutters.

Poor guy. I feel so bad for him. He’s actually been writing really depressing songs lately and I sometimes wonder if they’re about Lea.

“So we should get going,” I say, attempting to break the awkward tension as I head toward the driver’s side. “We have to go pick up some stuff for Christmas dinner.”

“You’re not going home?” Jaxon asks Lea as she heads for the passenger side of the car.

She shakes her head, opening the door. “Nah, I thought I’d stay here and catch up on some schoolwork. I’ve kind of fallen behind the last few weeks.”

Probably because she’s been spending a lot of time at football games and restaurants, and swimming, or whatever the hell she was doing that day.

“Are you going home?” she asks Jaxon, holding the door open and looking at him.

He shakes his head, fidgeting with a leather band on his wrist as twinkle lights sparkle in the background, highlighting the sadness in his eyes. “Nah, I’m actually going to New York to hang with Spalding and his family.”

“New York. Holy shit. How fun.” She rests her arms on top of the car door while I debate whether I should just climb into the car and let them chat or stop them from chatting to avoid Jaxon getting more attached. “I’ve always wanted to go there.”

“I know you have.” He steps for her with this look in his eyes like he’s about to ask her something really important.

That’s my cue to stop the conversation. “Hey, Lea, we gotta go, otherwise Tristan’s going to head out on his own to go shopping and, well, I can only imagine what he’ll buy for us to eat for Christmas dinner.”

“Probably TV dinners.” Lea chuckles under her breath. “Yeah, we should get going.” She waves at Jaxon, who looks crushed. “It was nice catching up with you. Hope you have a blast in New York.” She lowers her head into the car and climbs in.

I wave at Jaxon and he gives me the dirtiest look, like I’ve just hit him in the face or something. I’m guessing it’s because I broke up the conversation, but it’s for his own good. I know for a fact that right now Lea’s not looking to get back together with him. Maybe in the future, but I won’t say for sure because the future is always changing.

After I get into the car, buckle my seat belt, and drive down the road, Lea turns to me with excitement in her eyes. “I have a huge favor to ask you.”

“It wouldn’t by chance be helping you get back together with Jaxon, would it?” I ask with false hope.

“No.” She frowns. “Nova, I already told you that isn’t happening.”