As soon as they were gone, Sam stood, as if he couldn’t bear to sit that close to her. For a while he kept his back turned, and heavy silence settled over the room. Then he turned, his eyes flat.
“Then tell me, Sophie. What exactly did you do?”
She flinched and it pissed her off. She felt pinned to the couch, helpless. She couldn’t stand the weight of his stare another moment.
Her hands curled over the edge of the couch, and she pushed herself up, ignoring the pain in her arm.
“Sit down, Sophie.”
He didn’t bark the order, but it was an order nonetheless. Her chin went up in her best go-to-hell impression.
It took courage to go to him. Courage to face him down when he could so easily turn away and crush her without thought.
It made her angry that she cared. Made her angry that it mattered. She’d done what she had to do to survive. She shouldn’t have to explain herself to anyone.
“I knew you had secrets, that you weren’t honest with me,” she said.
“Yes, I suppose you did.”
The words tripped out with a hint of sarcasm. She ignored it and went on, refusing to give him the fight he seemed to want.
“I knew and I understood. I didn’t care. I wanted that time with you even though I knew when it was over that you’d walk away and that I was never supposed to know who you were or ever expect more than what you gave me.”
His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, and he looked away as if he was uncomfortable with the direction the conversation had turned. Would it kill him so much to admit that she’d hurt him? Did anything hurt this man? She wasn’t trying to make him feel guilt. She accepted her role in deception as easily as she’d accepted his. Maybe she would have felt differently if she’d ever believed even for a moment that things were honest between them.
“I didn’t betray you,” she said again.
His gaze lifted, and those piercing blue eyes caught her again. This time there was a genuine question there instead of accusation and disbelief.
“Tell me.”
Sweet relief sang through her mind. The weight that hovered so unbearably on her shoulders lightened, and she forgot the pain in her arm—and in her heart.
With those two words he told her he’d listen.
“I’ve already explained that my father sent me to you. He wanted me to glean whatever information I could—in any manner it took.”
“And you went.”
She closed her eyes. She knew how bad it looked. She wouldn’t apologize though, and she wouldn’t allow Sam to make her feel shame for her choice.
“You were my best chance at escape. I never intended to do anything more than make my father think I was doing what he wanted. But I saw you and I wanted you more than I wanted my freedom.”
The color deepened in his eyes. They went dark and his body went still.
“Why did you want your freedom?” he asked softly.
She kept her gaze even, not betraying the surge of rage that flashed through her blood.
“I hated him.”
Sam’s brow furrowed and he frowned. “Why?”
“You know what kind of man he was—is.”
“But what did he do to you, Sophie?”
“Besides demanding that I whore myself for him? Is it important? I would think that’s bad enough. You said it yourself. Who the hell does that? What kind of father asks his daughter to do that?”
It wasn’t everything, but it was all Sam needed to know, and it was certainly a credible enough reason for a daughter to hate her father.
“Remember the note, Sam? The one you received that last morning?”
He nodded.
“I’m the one who sent it. I’m the one who told you about the arms shipment and when and where it was going down.”
His eyes widened in shock and then narrowed just as quickly. His lips drew into a tight line, and he looked suspiciously at her.
She rubbed her chest, trying in vain to wipe away the ache. No, he didn’t trust her. She didn’t blame him, but it hurt nonetheless.
“Want me to tell you what was in it?”
She quoted back the contents in a low, steady voice and never broke his gaze. She wouldn’t look away, wouldn’t give him any reason to believe she was lying. Word for word. She knew them by heart. She should. She’d typed up the note, printed it out in the hotel lobby and paid the front desk clerk to deliver it.
Sam dragged a hand over his hair, looked away and then back at her, shaking his head as if he couldn’t believe it.
“Why? I don’t understand. Why not just tell me?”
She tried to laugh, but her throat closed in on her. “What would you have done, Sam? If I had unloaded that kind of story on you, would you have believed me? You would have been angry, just like you are now. You would have been suspicions of any information I gave you about my father.”
He nodded grudgingly and sighed his acknowledgment.
“I waited long enough for you to leave and then I took my opportunity. I was helped by two employees in my father’s house who were loyal to my mother and, as a result, me. I’ve been running ever since.”
“When did you find out you were pregnant?”
She closed her eyes, remembering all too vividly the fear and the joy. The panic that she wouldn’t be able to keep herself or her child safe as her pregnancy progressed.
“It hasn’t been long,” she said huskily. “Maybe if I hadn’t been so busy slipping from place to place, keeping one step ahead of my father’s men, I would have realized that the fatigue and sickness wasn’t due to stress and fear. When I noticed my pants were snug and I hadn’t been eating well, I tried to remember the last time I’d had a period. Then I knew.”
“That time in the shower,” Sam murmured.
She smiled faintly. “Yeah.”
“Why didn’t you come to me immediately? If you were in trouble and you knew where to find me, why didn’t you come before now?”
If only it had been that easy.
“As I said, I didn’t know I was pregnant until six weeks ago—”
“Is that the only reason you came? Because you’re pregnant?”
He sounded accusing, and she just stared at him. What had he expected?
“It’s a big part, yeah,” she said, her chin going up.
She could be as belligerent as him any day of the week. Damn it, but she was tired of having to defend herself.
“This is the first place they would have looked for me. They’ve probably been watching you for months, waiting for me to show up. It’s the only reason you’re still alive. My father had information on KGI. While he may not have had the balls to launch an all-out attack on you here, he would have done whatever was necessary to take you out. He’s a patient man when it comes to vengeance.”
Sam’s frown deepened. “What changed then? Why now?” The overt suspicion in his voice hit her like a poisoned dart. Yeah, she knew he had a right, but it was starting to seriously piss her off.
“What changed is that bastard caught up to me. What changed is that I’m not as fast or as agile as I used to be. Being five months pregnant with your child changes a lot, including my ability to take care of myself and protect us both from assholes that my uncle sends.”
“Uncle?”
Sam latched onto her slip, his eyes sharpening.
“Uncle, father, whatever. They’re partners. Either way I betrayed them both. They won’t forgive that.”
“We were led to believe that Tomas Mouton was a patsy of your father’s and nothing more. He had no power. Alex pulled all the strings and Tomas just took up space in Mouton’s organization.”
“I’m sure that’s true.” Indeed it was. But with her father dead, Tomas would have seized his opportunity to take over the network. And his first order of business would have been to recover the key Sophie had stolen and execute her for her betrayal of the Mouton family.
She kept that information buried, unsure of how much if anything she should tell Sam about the key or the fact that she’d killed her father. There was such a thing as too much information all at once. She wanted Sam to be willing to offer her and their child his protection, not toss her out on her ass at the first opportunity.
“Sam, look at me,” she begged softly.
His gaze lifted and he met her eyes. She flinched at the lack of emotion, but she swallowed her pride.
“I know what it looks like. I know you have a right to be suspicious. You think I’m here even now on some fact-finding mission for my father, or maybe I’ll take you down while you sleep because who would suspect a banged-up pregnant woman, right?”
His lips thinned. He wasn’t amused by her statement at all. She wanted to reach out to him, to touch him, but she was too afraid of his rejection, and if it came now, it would crush her.
“I took a risk by spending so much time with you in that hotel. I lied to my father and said whatever I had to say not to raise his suspicions, because I wanted to be able to return to you each night. I knew you weren’t offering me forever. I knew I was a fling. You don’t have to beat me over the head with that. But I’m not the only one who lied here. You did too.”
She sucked several steadying breaths through her nose and regained control of her emotions.
“I also knew that when I gave you the information on the arms deal that you’d leave without once looking back and that it would be up to me to escape my father’s grasp. So yes, if you want to look at it like that, I used you. I used you to get away from my father, but I never gave him a damn thing about you. I didn’t sell you out. He never even knew I’d leaked the information. No, I didn’t sell you out, Sam. I sold my father out. For you. And for a hell of a lot of other people he would have hurt.”
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