“Because I was afraid of who I would become if I didn’t.”
He nodded. “Why else?”
“Because I was afraid that if I stayed hidden, it would only be a matter of time before someone found me.”
“Why else?” he asked again.
“Because I am tired of living in the shadows. Ruined or not, tonight, I live in the light.”
He kissed her then, taking her lips in a long, lingering caress, his hands sliding down her sides, pulling her closer, leaving a trail of heat in their wake.
When he stopped the kiss, he pressed his forehead to hers and said, almost too softly to hear, “Why else?”
She closed her eyes, loving the feel of him so close to her, wishing she could live there, in his arms, forever. “Because you didn’t deserve it.”
He shook his head. “But that’s not why.”
She took a deep breath. “Because I did not wish to lose you.”
He nodded. “And what else?”
He knew. He saw the truth, yawning beneath them, a great chasm. All he asked was for her to say it aloud. To leap.
And on this, their last night together—their only night together, she leapt, her gaze on his, her body entwined with his.
“Because, somehow, in all of this . . .”
She resisted the truth, barely, knowing that if they were said, they would change everything. Would make everything more difficult. “ . . . you—your happiness—your wishes—they mean everything.”
But what she said in her mind was: I love you. I love you. I love you.
And perhaps he heard it, for he stood, and in one fluid motion, lifted her in his arms and took her to his bed.
Chapter 18
She’d never felt so valued as she did at his bedside, draped in silk, still warm from his touch and the promise of what was to come. His fingers trailed over her cheek and jaw, down the column of her throat, and over her racing pulse.
He traced the line of her collarbone and then the curve of her breast, lingering when she drew in a heavy, ragged breath. His black eyes met hers. “Do you wish me to stop?”
“No,” she said instantly. Wishing he would start again. Wishing he would keep going. Forever.
“I won’t hurt you,” he said.
She stilled at the words, at the way the promise came from deep inside him. She wondered how many times he’d had to make that same promise to other women. To calm them as they stood an arm’s length—closer—to the Killer Duke.
“I know,” she said, capturing his bad hand in one of hers, pressing his fingers against her skin, holding his touch to her. She reached her other hand up, threading her fingers through his hair, pulling his lips down to her. “You’ll never hurt me,” she whispered against his lips.
He groaned his desire, snaking his free arm around her waist and pulling her tight to him. He whispered her name and took her mouth in a powerful kiss, more devastating than any they’d shared before. Where the previous ones had been rivers of temptation, tickling at the seams of her, this was a wide sea filled with wicked promise. It was wanton.
It was wonderful.
His hand was everywhere—lush, stroking sin—and hers followed suit, sliding up the soft wool of his coat and into his hair, holding him close, matching his kiss with her own, not stopping until he groaned his pleasure and pulled away from her, leaving her gasping for air and desperate for more of him.
“No,” he whispered, turning her away from him, to face the massive bed, at once ominous and irresistible. His hands came to the fastenings of the gown, working the buttons and ties.
“Faster,” she sighed as he fumbled at the fabric. “Hurry.”
The buttons were stubborn beneath his touch. Or perhaps it was his choice to move with such slowness. “I will not allow you to tempt me to speed,” he whispered in her ear as he worked, the breath of the words sending shivers of anticipation through her. “I want the whole night.” He pressed a kiss to the curve of her shoulder, his tongue coming out to stroke along the skin there as the fabric of her bodice came loose and she caught it to her chest.
He lifted one of her hands, kissing her palm, then worrying the pad of her index finger with his teeth. Her dress fell to the floor, his gaze falling to her fine-spun chemise and beautifully boned corset, desire flaring hot and wonderful. “I want longer.”
She sighed at the words. Of course, she knew they couldn’t have longer. But they could have tonight, and he was enough to make her forget everything else.
Tomorrow, they would return to their lives—he, to the one he’d too long missed, and she to the one she’d too long deserved.
He guided her hands to the bedpost, leaving her there as he worked at the ties of her corset, his fingers pulling at silken strings, loosening the piece until it dropped to her feet, and his strong touch sent her silk chemise after it.
She was naked in the clocked stockings he’d bought her, the ones she’d imagined him removing when she’d donned them—even as she’d desperately tried to ignore the thought.
And his hands, those strong, wonderful hands that she’d come to love for their gentleness as much as their force, slid over her bare skin as his lips settled on the curve of her shoulder.
Not hands. Hand.
Always one hand. Always the good hand.
She turned to him. “Wait.”
He waited. Because she told him to. And she loved him all the more for it. She lifted his wounded hand to her lips, pressing a kiss to his knuckles, letting her tongue slide out to dip into the valleys between them. He watched, his eyes dark with passion, but something was missing. Something she might not have seen if she had not been looking.
He couldn’t feel her.
She turned the hand over, pressing a kiss to his palm. Whispering there, “What have we done to you?”
He snatched his hand away, but she would not let him escape.
Instead, she lifted his other hand and repeated her ministrations until his breath caught in his throat and he shifted with desire and want and a dozen kinds of lust.
Shock rocketed through her. His hand. They’d stolen it from him.
“Temple,” she said softly, reaching for it. Loving him more for it.
“No,” he resisted, turning her once more, returning her hands to the bedpost. Kissing the spot behind her ear, the place where neck met jaw. Where shoulder met neck. Her spine.
Distracting her with pleasure and wickedness. “You are trembling.”
And she was, too wrecked by his touch, by his nearness, to stop. To return the conversation to his hand. “I can’t—” she started. “It is too much.”
He growled, low and dark and promising at her ear. “It is not nearly enough.”
He kissed his way down her spine, the tip of his tongue licking and swirling as he marked his path. As he marked her, as cleanly and clearly as if he’d done it with a needle and ink.
And when he reached the place where back met bottom, he worried the soft, untouched skin there until she was gasping her pleasure. Only then, once she’d given herself over to his touch, to his kiss, did he turn her to face him.
She should not have been surprised to find him there, on his knees staring up at her once more, but she was, a thread of panic and desperation coursing through her. A desperate desire to repeat the events of the previous morning in the ring. A desperate desire never to repeat them again.
“Temple,” she whispered, reaching for him, letting him catch her hand in his, letting him press it to his cheek.
“William,” he corrected her.
Her gaze flew to his. “But you—”
“You’re the only one who thinks of me as such. The only one who has ever seen me.”
The truth ached. Reminding her of all she’d done. Of all this night could be. Of all it couldn’t be. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered, tears in her eyes. “I never—”
He came to his feet with stunning grace, pulling her to him. “No. You mustn’t regret it. Your seeing me has changed everything. It’s changed my life. It’s changed me.” He kissed her, long and thorough, and added, “Christ, Mara, of course it’s you. It’s always been you. It always will be.”
The words shattered her. “I cannot stand.”
“Then don’t. I have you.”
She fell into his strength, and he laid her back on the bed, spreading her legs wide as he sank between them, draping them over his shoulders, leaving long, lush kisses along the soft skin of her inner thighs, coming closer and closer to delivering on their promise as she writhed on the silk bedcovers and wondered how it was that she had come to be here. Come to deserve him.
She hadn’t.
She hadn’t, and this would be her greatest sin—taking this night. Stealing it from someone who might deserve it. Who might be more for him. Who might be better for him.
Taking it, with no regret.
Taking it for the memory.
For her lifetime.
For his.
And then his mouth was on the heat of her, and her fingers were in his hair, and he was giving her everything she desired, and she couldn’t stop herself from moving against him, from lifting to meet him, from begging him for—
He stopped, lifting his head. “What is it, love?”
The word was enough to send rivers of pleasure through her, if not for the slow slide of his fingers, the way they dipped and teased, the way they stroked, but not deep enough to give her everything she wanted. She raised her hips to him.
“My, that’s a pretty sight,” he said, and she couldn’t stop herself from watching him, his eyes on her, his tongue sliding over his beautiful bottom lip, as though he couldn’t wait to taste her again. “All pink and perfect.” His gaze found hers. “Tell me, when I did this in the ring . . . did you see it? How hot you get? How pink? How wet?”
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