“Rise and shine!” Sadie yelled, flinging my curtains open, turning the stream of light into an all-consuming inferno.

“I hate you.”

“I’m not the one who told you to drink an entire bucket of beer.”

Did I? If my memory served me correctly, and granted it was a little foggy, Zach took one. Zach. A rush of moments from the previous night flooded my mind.

My head nuzzling against Zach’s chest as he carried me into my apartment. The smell of spice cookies and how I grabbed his neck and pulled him closer to get a better whiff. Oh God. If only there was mouthwash for the brain. Brain wash. They could make a fortune on that stuff.

“There’s Advil, water and a bottle of Gatorade on your nightstand. I suggest you get chugging.” Sadie sat on the edge of my bed, looking like a freaking model.

“I hate you, but love you too.”

“I didn’t do it. Honestly I’d almost prefer to let you suffer. Did you really think you were going to get behind the wheel? Seriously! You know better than that.”

“I know.” It was just seeing Zach after all that time, and having him act like seeing me didn’t bother him, made something inside of me snap.

I rubbed at the headache that was growing by the minute. It was like one of those dinosaurs you dropped in water and it expanded to quadruple its size. I reached for the Advil and downed the bottle of water.

“And you can thank Zach later tonight when we go bowling with everyone.”

“No! I am not going bowling with him. He can’t just come back to town and act like nothing changed.” He couldn’t just carry me to bed, leave me with the ultimate hangover kit and call it even.

Not even close.

“If I remember correctly, you’ve moved on. At least that’s what you said. I was ready for a battle, but you told me you didn’t need closure. You were good.”

“I did. And I am.”

“Then what’s the big deal?” Sadie said, tossing her black hair over her shoulders before walking out.

I dragged myself out of bed and showered the night off of me. If only I could shower the thoughts of snuggling Zach’s neck away. What the hell was I thinking? I wasn’t. So much time had passed, yet I still fell under his spell.

Besides, it wasn’t my fault he smelled so damn good. I swore the boy bathed in a pool of spice cookie batter.

I slipped into my skinny jeans, a black sweater and my riding boots then headed back to campus. It was going to be a long day.

* * *

Professor Mulligan and I came up with the idea for the beach clean-up committee when she helped me with a paper outlining the effects of plastic pollution on our local beaches. In a few short months we had removed 2,136 cigarette butts, 86 plastic bags, a tire, 3 flip-flops, 52 plastic bottles, 11 latex balloons and what felt like several tons of fishing wire, from the local beaches.

You’d think the shock factor would wear off. It hadn’t. How hard was it to pick up your trash? I for one wasn’t going to be responsible for killing an innocent sea turtle.

The annoying thing was that if it wasn’t for Zach, I never would’ve cared so much about our beaches and how we could ruin an entire ecosystem simply by not using a trash can. Every time we went to the beach he packed an extra bag for garbage and made sure not to leave a single piece behind.

For six months I hadn’t thought about him and now I couldn’t get him out of my head. As if he were a disease and I a hypochondriac—he was constantly on my mind.

Maybe it was because I’d just seen him for the first time in over a year and it was still fresh. But it was more than that. As much as Zach was the same, he was different. He wasn’t a boy anymore. The baby face was gone, replaced with a more chiseled one. His strong jaw was sprinkled with dark stubble. I’d always thought he was hot. But now. Damn.

Hot or not , he was the asshole who broke my heart. And I’d moved on. What I was feeling was a completely normal reaction to an old love. All I had to do was avoid him as much as possible. I couldn’t in my Monday-Wednesday writing class, but the rest of the time I was Zach-free.

When I got to the classroom I sat next to Professor Mulligan’s desk. Vicky and Tanya strolled in and took their usual seats in the corner.

Professor Mulligan’s laugh flowed into the classroom. I looked up, ready to greet her, when every ounce of patience I had left shattered.

Walking in with her, as if they were old friends, was Zach. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I wanted to scream and throw the eraser that sat on the desk beside me at his head.

“Liz, you’re here. Good. This is Zach. He’s in my Marine Science class. He’s very passionate about the ocean and our beaches.” She patted Zach on the shoulder, a little too excited, even for her.

I hoped she was kidding. Didn’t she know me well enough to notice the disapproval shining in my eyes? By the way Zach flinched away, it was obvious he could.

Unfortunately, she wasn’t kidding.

“With his passion and knowledge I think he’ll be a wonderful asset to our group. I talked him into joining. Isn’t that great?” You would think she’d just talked the president into speaking to us with the way she kept rising up and down on her toes.

“We have enough people. We don’t need any more,” I said as I shuffled through some papers, refusing to look up. One glance at him and the ache in my heart that took so long to go away came back. I didn’t want it back. I wanted him to disappear, return to where he came from and just leave me alone.

“Liz, we can always use an extra set of hands,” she said. I wanted to scream.

Instead I rolled my eyes and flipped open my notebook acting as if whatever was on the blank pages was more important than the conversation we were having. Professor Mulligan was my mentor at Farmingdale State, and we had a standing coffee date every other Thursday—she clearly knew me well enough to know something was up.

“Zach, take a seat while Liz and I go over today’s agenda? Then we’ll get started.”

“Sure.” He walked away and I couldn’t help watching. A year ago I’d been able to pick him out of a crowd from behind. Not anymore. He was taller. All broad shoulders and big biceps. A narrow waist gave way to a great butt. Not like I noticed or anything.

“Liz, a moment,” Professor Mulligan said as she walked out the door.

I followed her into the empty hallway and leaned my body against the cool tiled wall.

“Do you know him?” she asked, hitching her thumb over her shoulder towards the classroom.

“He’s my ex from high school. Bad breakup.”

“I’m sorry.” She rested her hand on my shoulder. “I had no idea.”

How was she supposed to know? It’s not like I walked around with an “I dated Zach Roberts” name tag.

“It’s okay. Our personal relationship should have nothing to do with it. Besides. He’s really good at this stuff. Can even credit him for my own interest in it.”

She gave me a hopeful look. “Do you think you two will ever work out your differences?”

“No!” I caught myself yelling and lowered my voice. “You know I’m with Joe, and I’m happy. He makes me happy.” She was more than aware of my relationship with Joe. He even joined us for coffee on a couple of occasions.

“I didn’t necessarily mean boyfriend and girlfriend. I was talking friendship,” she said, arms crossed, eyes focused on mine.

“That’s not going to happen.”

“We’ll see.” Then she walked away.

What was that about? What was she trying to prove? I wanted to run after her and argue. We wouldn’t see because it wouldn’t happen. But there was no use arguing. People were going to think what they wanted and because of our history, I’m sure they were thinking a lot. Too much. And because most of these people didn’t know details it was all speculation.

There was nothing I could do about that though. So I did the only thing I could do. I walked back into that classroom with my head held high as if Zach’s presence wasn’t weighing heavy on my heart.

Chapter 6

The bowling alley wasn’t far from our apartment, and it was the perfect place to hang out with our friends without spending our entire month’s grocery funds. By the time we got there, the parking lot was already packed. Sadie looped around the lot a couple times before finally spotting a car pulling out.

She put her blinker on but as she drove to the spot, a copper orange Jeep Wrangler stole it.

“You had your blinker on. What the hell?” I threw my hands up in hopes the inconsiderate moron in the Jeep would see.

Sadie shrugged. “Whatever, we’ll keep looking.”

“No! We won’t. That was your spot.” I rolled my window down and waited.

“Seriously, Liz, we can get another spot. What if they’re crazy and they have a gun in their truck and they kill us and then toss our bodies into the river.”

“You watch too much TV.”

Sadie let off the brake just as Zach stepped out from the Jeep. Of course. I should have guessed. It was like he came here to make my life a living hell. Why wouldn’t he steal the parking spot Sadie was clearly pulling into?

“I’m waiting,” Sadie said.

“For what?” I asked as I rolled up the window.

“Now that I know it’s just Zach and not some psycho killer I want to see you battle.”

“Forget it. Just loop around again. I’m sure another space opened up.” I wasn’t in the mood to deal with Zach. If I started with him, he’d be guaranteed to find pleasure in my discontent, and I refused to let that happen.

The three more laps around the parking lot it took to finally find a spot gave me time to calm my nerves. This night was about hanging out with my friends and my boyfriend, and I wasn’t going to let Zach’s presence ruin it.