“Lizzie,” Zach called out as I grabbed my clothes and walked away. “Where are you going?”

“Shower,” I said as I barreled into the bathroom and slammed the door.

I fought the tears. I hated that after everything that had happened, this guy still had the power to make me cry. You would think I would be able to accept it. Come to terms with it. But Zach had a direct connection to my heart and because of that, he was not only able to heal it, but destroy it. Time and time again.

The hot water steamed up the bathroom, coating the mirror. I shed my pajamas and stepped in, hoping to wash away the misery, the last twenty-four hours, and possibly even the year Zach and I had been together.

As the soap suds slid down my body to the drain, it was obvious that no matter how hard I scrubbed, I couldn’t wash away the memories. They were a part of me.

The porcelain was cold against my back as I leaned against the wall when my legs became too weak to hold me. And just when I thought I couldn’t possibly shed another tear, I started sobbing again.

I heard the knock on the door, but I was too consumed with the whirlwind of conflicting emotions.

“Lizzie, are you okay in there?” I ignored Zach’s words. I couldn’t face him. Not yet at least. I needed time to pull myself together—to show him that his rejection didn’t shatter me completely.

I couldn’t let him see how much his actions had affected me. How desperately I wanted to feel his lips on mine.

Thirty minutes later I finally emerged from the bathroom. My hair was up in a ponytail, I had on minimal makeup, and I was ready get out of that hotel room.

“It’s all yours,” I said, walking past Zach, ignoring the fact he was trying to stop me.

“Can we talk?” he called after me, but I was already out the door.

I didn’t know where I was going. It’s not like I knew the area. At night it had been sketchy-looking, but in the daylight it was just like any other hotel on a main strip of highway. I walked around to the main lobby and found a vending machine. The least I could do was bring back something to eat. If anything, it would show I wasn’t mad, and I was being mature about the whole thing.

I reached in my pocket and pulled out four singles as I scanned the contents behind the glass. After mulling over my options, I settled on two coffee cakes, a granola bar and a bottle of water we’d have to share.

Back in the room Zach was in the shower. I flipped on the TV and sat against the headboard. When he finally opened the door, I didn’t look at him, though from the corner of my eye I could see he wasn’t wearing a shirt. It made me think of the previous night, when I laid pressed against his chest.

“I got you a coffee cake and granola bar.” I threw the granola bar at him, still not letting my eyes settle on his.

“Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it.”

“Liz, I think we need—”

“Visiting hours are in a few minutes. We really should get going. I’ll go turn in the key and pay. I’ll meet you at the Jeep.” I walked out before he could say another word. The last thing I wanted to hear was a long explanation of why he didn’t want to be with me. I didn’t want his pity.

To my surprise, Zach had already paid for the room at check in. I turned in the key and stood against the Jeep, wondering if Josh would be drugged up again today, and if Mom would fall apart when she saw him.

At least my parents’ arrival would be a nice distraction. It would overshadow anything I felt for Zach, and maybe even help him forget about my momentary lapse in judgment. It was a mistake, and I just needed him to realize that.

So I avoided conversation. When he finally got in the Jeep I declared every song on the radio my favorite and continued to increase the volume with each one. When we got to the hospital, I walked ten steps ahead.

The elevator was the hardest. He kept trying to talk, and with no radio to turn up and no way of putting distance between us, I had to be creative. I started babbling.

“Did you know those mirrors are cameras?” I pointed to the mirror above us. “I wonder what they catch people doing in here. I can only imagine. I’m sure they pick their noses, their wedgies and God only knows what else.”

“People making out,” Zach said and I felt the conversation shifting back to the scene in the hotel.

I needed to think fast. Babbling was no longer cutting it. We still had two floors to go. A lot could happen in two floors.

I bent down to tie my shoe so he wouldn’t look me in the eye or move closer. When I stood up, I should have known he would be right there, invading my personal space. He rested his hand under my chin, but I refused to look him in the eye. The last time I did, it was a total disaster.

“Lizzie.”

The elevator stopped, the doors opened, and for once life wasn’t working against me. A group of people stood waiting to get on. I jumped away from Zach and basically ran out of the elevator.

The people created a barrier and gave me enough time to put a few feet of distance between us. Once we got to Josh’s room, Zach couldn’t talk to me. He wouldn’t dare say anything in front of Josh. I hoped.

Josh’s curtain came into view and I picked up the pace. Zach’s hand closed around mine, but before he could pull me towards him I stepped around the curtain.

“Josh,” I said loud enough so Zach would hear me and know it was too late. My hand dropped to my side as Zach let it go.

“Hey guys,” Josh said, and I was grateful he was coherent. “What are you still doing here?”

“What do you mean what are we still doing here?” I asked annoyed he would even ask such a stupid question.

“I thought you would have gone home by now,” Josh said.

“Like you would if the situation was reversed?” Zach said the same words I was thinking.

Josh nodded. “Good point.”

“So, how they treating you here? Still harassing the nurses?” Zach asked.

“You know it.”

“Mom and Dad will be here this afternoon. They got a flight out,” I said, bypassing the playful banter and getting right down to the important stuff.

“I know. They called me.”

“How’d they call you?” I asked.

“They called the hospital and asked to talk to me. I have a phone right there.” He pointed behind him to the phone sitting on a table. “Mom was crying, of course.”

“Of course,” I said with a smile. Mom had always been emotional. Maybe that’s where I got it from.

I sat on the edge of Josh’s bed, across the room from the chair Zach was sitting in. I avoided eye contact.

“I’m going to get a drink. You guys want anything?” Zach asked.

“Nope, I’m good,” I turned my head quickly away from him after I answered.

“They’ll be bringing me some shitty lunch soon,” Josh said. “Don’t want to ruin my appetite.”

“I’ll be right back then.” I watched Zach disappear behind the curtain, then turned back to Josh.

“So how are you feeling?”

“Why don’t you stop trying to hide behind inane conversation and tell me what the hell is going on between you two,” Josh said.

He’d taken me by surprise. How did he know there was anything going on between Zach and me? “I’m not,” I said.

“Bullshit. Number one, your lip just twitched.”

Stupid lip.

“And number two, the tension between you two right now is so freaking heavy, I feel like I’m suffocating. So out with it, or I’m going to ask Zach in front of you.” My brother drove a hard bargain, but he knew how to get me to talk.

“You want the truth?” I asked.

“That’s a good start.”

“I don’t know. I honestly don’t know. The past twenty-four hours have been hell, but he’s been there every second, and I want to hate him for the past, but he makes it so damn hard and . . .” My voice cracked and my words faltered as the pain of rejection settled back in.

“It’s okay,” Josh said.

“Is it? Because I’m not sure it is. And should I even be thinking about anything that has to do with me and him when you’re here in a hospital bed?” Tears leaked out and I let them. I wanted to stay brave for Josh but I realized I didn’t have to. Even if he was the one who had been shot, he was still my stronger, older brother and I was still his weaker, younger sister.

“It’s okay. You know, I believe that everything happens for a reason.”

“So you think there’s a reason for you getting shot?” I asked, thinking it was absurd.

“I do, and maybe it has to do with me or maybe it has to do with you and Zach. Who knows? Only time will tell,” he said, and if he didn’t have so many wires hooked to him and if he wasn’t still slightly drugged, I could tell he would have shrugged.

“I really hope you didn’t get shot for me and Zach.”

“That would kind of suck, but I’d be happy to take one for the team if it means you two working out whatever has been between you since he moved away.”

Zach returned just as Josh finished speaking, and I felt the tension between us lessening. I stopped trying to avoid eye contact and conversation—it was pointless.

“So Zach, you didn’t try to make a move on my sister in that hotel room did you? Because even with a bullet hole in me I could still kick your ass.” I almost smacked Josh upside the head but I resisted. Josh liked to push buttons, and after all he’d been through, I’d let him, at least for now.

“Nope. Couldn’t if I wanted to. She has a boyfriend after all.” Zach looked directly at me as he spoke. As if he was trying to communicate with me telepathically.

“Josh, sweetie! We’re here!” Mom’s voice was shrill as she rushed into the room, taking my brother into her arms as if he was still her baby boy. “I’m never going on vacation ever again. I will never leave you again. Or you Liz,” she said as she engulfed me in her embrace.