Theresa Paolo - (Never) Again

Cheryl reached her hand over the desk and I returned the gesture.

“How was the concert?” he asked.

“Fantastic. My Becky knocked them dead.”

“Sounds like she takes after her mom.” Zach winked, and Cheryl grinned. “How was she today?”

“After you left this morning she went out and got a haircut. I’m sure she talked Lucille’s ear off about you.”

“That’s good to hear. I’ll catch you later.”

“You know where to find me.”

Zach led me down a corridor and around the corner, stopping in front of a door with a seashell wreath. He knocked gently and then eased the door open. Mimi’s artistic touches were spread around her room. Hand-painted ivy wrapped around the door frame, the mirror was lined in shells, picture frames hung on the walls, and a colored glass mosaic table sat just beneath them.

Zach walked in and knelt in front of Mimi on the couch as I stared at her masterpieces, wondering if her illness would steal that talent away.

“Mimi, you have a visitor. Do you remember . . .”

“Oh my goodness, if it isn’t Lizzie Wagner!” Mimi exclaimed. “Look at you. Prettier than ever. Come here and give me a hug.”

She remembered me. I felt honored, and quickly took her up on her request.

I bent down to embrace her delicate frame and her arms wrapped around me with surprising strength. By the upturn of Zach’s lips it was obvious I had made the right choice by going with him.

“So why is it okay for her to call you Lizzie?” Zach asked as Mimi released her grip.

“Simple. Because I like her.” I flashed my best smile.

“Of course,” he said.

“Why don’t we go to the dining room? We’ll have some brownies and catch up.” Mimi clapped her hands together. “Or wait. If I remember correctly, you were more of a cookie girl.”

“You’re right, Mimi,” Zach said. “Do you remember how Liz used to make cookies for you?”

She tilted her head, eyes focused as if in deep concentration, trying to access that memory in her brain.

“Wait. Yes, I do. Those island cookies you made were delicious.” She clapped her hands together again.

“Oh, I forgot about those,” Zach said. “They were good. Really good. Maybe Liz will make them again for you.”

“I don’t bake anymore.” The words came rushing out.

Zach’s head snapped around to me, his brows drew together, and I braced for his remark.

Mimi beat him to it. “That’s quite all right. I don’t need the extra sugar anyway.”

Thank God. I’d blurted it out before I thought about it. If Mimi wasn’t there, Zach would want an explanation, and I simply didn’t have one. Or at least one I was willing to let him in on.

We spent a few hours with Mimi talking about the past year and about her crafts. She was delighted to find out I still had the jewelry box she’d made me and even more so when I told her it stayed out on my dresser for everyone to see. Not that many people went into my room, but either way it put a sparkle in her eyes.

By seven p.m., Mimi said she was tired and called it a night.

“Today was a good day.” Zach said as he opened the door to the Jeep so I could get in.

“I’m happy I came,” I said when he got in the driver seat.

“You made Mimi’s day. Maybe even her week.”

“I doubt that, but still, it was really good to see her.”

“She’s always loved you,” he said. I smiled at the sentiment. “So why don’t you bake anymore?” My smile faded.

“I, uh . . .” Okay, so stuttering wasn’t exactly helping the situation, but I didn’t know what to say. If I told the truth, he would know how much of an effect he’d had on me. I needed to lie, but my mind had turned to Jell-O. Every thought bounced and jiggled out of reach and I couldn’t wrap my brain around a single word, let alone an entire lie.

To make matters worse we pulled up to a red light. Zach shifted his focus from the road in front of him and turned his head so his eyes were fixed on me.

“So?”

I was about to give up when my brain finally started working again. To cover the lie I leaned my chin onto my hand and let my fingers cover the spot of my lip that twitched.

“I got bored with it. It was fun for a while, but everything is fun when it’s new. Besides, after Josh left I had no one to try my new recipes. Plus after gaining five pounds, I realized I didn’t want to look at another cookie again.”

I was too scared to look at him. Great, now he was going to think I fell into a deep depression because of him. Bet he had already painted a lovely picture of me, tears streaming down my face while I buried my sorrows in a bowl of cookie dough.

Not that the idea was far-fetched.

“Never thought you’d think baking was anything but fun, but I get it,” he said. “People change. They find new hobbies. Life goes on.” I was grateful he didn’t question me further.

“Yeah, something like that,” I said.

I really didn’t think it would be that easy. The old Zach wouldn’t have believed that half-assed answer. He would have seen right through the lie. But like he said, people change.

Another Saturday night, another night Joe blew me off for the band. I thought girls were usually the groupies, but Joe was definitely the official Purge groupie. I can’t say he completely blew me off since he did invite me to their show. But Zach was right, they sucked. If Charlie was the only one playing I might have considered. But I had better things to do on a Saturday night than dodge a crowd that thought it needed to break into a mosh pit during every single song.

I’d have to get used to it though, since the band had decided that Joe was going to be their new drummer. Curtis, the old drummer, had come to his senses and realized band life wasn’t going to pay the bills. He’d had to get a real job and couldn’t keep up with their practice schedule.

The only problem? Joe wasn’t a drummer.

In fact, he’d never played a musical instrument in his life. In fourth grade when we had to decide if we wanted to be in the band or the orchestra, he chose chorus. Probably because he could stand in the back, move his lips and just get by.

But he was determined, so when he blew me off for the band, I couldn’t get too mad. He was trying to become a part of something and even if he wasn’t quite there, he was on his way.

Besides, it was also a good excuse for girls’ night. Sadie and I put our pajamas on and stretched out on the couch to watch a chick flick. She grabbed the remote and hit play, the henna from her cousin’s wedding still visible on her hand.

The best thing about living together was that we got to have a sleepover every night. I placed Sadie’s beloved pillows in their designated spot on the floor and kicked my feet up.

By the end of the movie I was surprised I hadn’t dozed off. Sadie’s phone buzzed and with the way she bit her lip, I knew it was Matt.

“What’s up with lover boy?”

She picked up one of her pillows and tossed it at my head. My hand swatted it to the floor before it hit me in the face.

I pointed to her phone. “So what’s he got to say?”

“Everyone’s convening at the Roadside. You hungry?”

“I could eat something,” I said, always up for a meal.

We changed into jeans and headed out. The Roadside was a diner on the outskirts of town that still had grease on the floor from the day the doors opened fifty years ago. But they had the best milk shakes and burgers.

I pulled my seatbelt on. “Maybe I can actually see my boyfriend this weekend.”

“Yeah, and Matt will be there too.”

“I figured that when you said everyone,” I said, unable to resist pointing it out.

Five years and countless relationships later and she still had yet to actually make a move, in spite of my constant encouragement. Seriously, what did she have to lose? Matt would either go with it or not. At least then she could stop obsessing over everything he said and did.

By the time we got to the diner, all the usual suspects were there. Joe, Scott, Ruthie, and Matt all huddled at one booth, Ruthie sitting on Scott’s lap. I didn’t even do a double take. We were all used to the Ruthie and Scott show.

One person was missing though.

Zach.

He and Matt were always close, and it was only natural that they’d started hanging out again. Where was he? If I asked, would it look like I cared about him? Because I didn’t. I was just curious.

“Babe, you’re here!” Joe yelled out when Sadie and I approached the booth. He climbed around the table, gathered me in his arms, spun me around once then kissed me as he put my feet back on the ground. Little things like that made my day.

“How was the show?” I asked.

Joe’s eyes lit up. “Awesome!” he exclaimed and squeezed me closer to him. I nuzzled into his chest and he leaned down to my ear. “But it would’ve been better if you were there.” He pulled away and a smile spread across my face at his words.

Matt jumped up from his spot, retrieved a chair and made room for me and Sadie. Interesting how he made sure Sadie sat next to him. I gave her the look, the one that said are-you-seeing-what-I’m-seeing, then gave her a nod of acknowledgement.

A piece of paper with scribbles all over sat in the middle of the table. “So we were just going over a new song we’re working on,” Joe said.

“What’s it about?” I asked.

The band looked at each other and then at the paper as if the paper would talk. I stared at the group with a lifted eyebrow and waited for them to gather their thoughts into a comprehensible response.