Molly McAdams - Needing Her

Connor

I ARMY-­CRAWLED AFTER my nephew and scrambled away when he stopped, and obviously started making good use of his diaper.

“Ugh! Oh my God, that is—­” I gagged and brought my shirt up over my mouth and nose. “How do you deal with that?”

My sister laughed loudly and waited until my nephew started crawling again before going to pick him up. “When it’s your kid, it’s different. You do it because it needs to be done.”

“No, no! God, Amy! Wait until I’m out of the room before you start changing him. You trying to kill me or something?”

“Chill, jeez. I still have to get the diaper bag and get him ready.” She walked toward me with little Ben and I practically ran to the kitchen. “It is good to see you though, Connor.”

I raised an eyebrow at her, still keeping my shirt over the bottom half of my face. “I see you every Saturday morning unless I’m working.”

“I know, but ever since that girl who—­”

“Amy,” I said her name in warning.

“Ever since that girl who went back to Texas, you haven’t been the same. I don’t know what’s happened to you since you came over last week, but you’re a completely different person. You’re back to my little brother . . . well, almost.”

I shrugged, and let the hand that wasn’t holding my shirt go out before dropping back to my side. “I’m always me.”

“No, and you know what I’m talking about. Just because you think you hide it from me, doesn’t mean I don’t see it. There’s still something today, you’re not completely back yet, but it’s a huge difference.”

I nodded, not knowing what to say. I didn’t know what to think or say about there being that much of a difference when I’d thought I’d been hiding everything from her. She’d spent so much time protecting me from our bastard father when we were little that I’d been trying to protect her from any and everything ever since we’d been adopted from him. Including my own struggles. Amy had known about Cassidy, but she hadn’t known how hard it had been for me after—­or apparently she had.

And I didn’t know what to do about the fact that everything she was seeing had everything to do with the girl next door.

The girl I couldn’t feel this way about.

The girl whose god-­awful singing, as she blasted the Christmas music she loved so much, had Amy and me cracking up just half an hour ago.

The same girl who, just last night, might have gotten engaged to that fucking creep who did nothing but degrade her.

My phone went off in my pocket, pulling me out of the memories that were sure to piss me off all over again. Grabbing it, my eyes widened when I saw her name, and I hurried to open the text.

Maci Price: All things considered, it’s not your place to tell me who I should and shouldn’t be with . . . or to give an opinion on my life at all. Watch yourself, Detective. We wouldn’t want ­people thinking you’re jealous or give a shit.

I gripped my phone in my hand and started storming out of my apartment, grabbing my keys on the way.

“Where are you going?”

“I’ll be right back,” I answered, and avoided looking where she was changing Ben.

As soon as my door was open, I kicked the box of oatmeal bath packets sitting there out of my way and went next door. When Maci’s door didn’t immediately open, I unlocked it and let myself in to walk through the apartment as I called her name. Nothing. Pulling up her contact in my phone, I pressed on her name and ground my jaw when it went straight to voice mail.

“It’s Connor. We’re talking about this when you get home.”

I locked her door behind me and walked back into my apartment. Amy was standing there holding her son, a confused look on her face that slowly started changing.

“I’m sorry, I just had to—­”

“What is going on between you and Maci Price?”

My eyebrows shot up. “Nothing, she’s just driving me insane right now.”

She hitched Ben higher up on her hip and pursed her lips at me. Ah fuck. She was in mom mode. “I know you’re lying to me, and why do I have a feeling she has something to do with the difference I’m seeing in you?”

I sucked at lying to my sister. Especially when she went into mom mode. Throwing my hands out to the side, I let my keys fall to the floor before bringing my hands back to grip my hair. “She’s a Price, Amy. They would fu”—­I glanced at Ben and tried to filter myself—­“freaking murder me.”

Amy gasped and a massive smile crossed her face as she dropped to the couch. “How long has this been going on?”

“That’s just it,” I laughed humorlessly. “It hasn’t been. Nothing’s happened between us.”

“Connor.”

“I’m being honest. Nothing has happened, and nothing will. She’s my best friends’ sister, I can’t touch her.”

And apparently I’d done something to fuck up anything that could have happened between us . . . and I had no idea what exactly that was.

Maci

AFTER HOURS OF shopping, then decorating Amber’s apartment and my own, we were finally done. I had a smile on my face that only this time of year could put there, but there was still something missing. Christmas was my favorite holiday, and I loved decorating day more than anything, but I still hadn’t gotten Connor or his words out of my mind.

Amber flopped down next to me on the couch and admired our work. “We did good.”

“That we did.”

“Hey”—­she elbowed me—­“what’s going on? You’re usually bouncing off the walls and I can’t get you to stop playing Elf or singing Christmas music. You’re just kind of . . . blah today. Is it still what Bryce said?”

“Kind of.” I shrugged. Barely. I couldn’t forget his words if I tried. But it was Connor who was ruining my day, and I hated that I let him have that much power over me.

“Fuck him, Maci. He’s a douche, and I think he did you a favor by finally showing his true self. Now you can move on and find someone else.”

Was it sad that I couldn’t figure out if she was talking about Connor or Bryce, even though I knew she didn’t have a clue about Connor?

“I don’t want to find someone else . . . I just want to forget about him.” Forget the words he’d said. Forget that I’d let myself think he might feel something. Forget the other girls in his apartment. Forget it all.

“Then let’s do it! Let’s forget the bastard!” Amber shouted and jumped off the couch, jolting me from my thoughts. I hadn’t realized I’d said any of that out loud and was glad I hadn’t said Connor’s name.

“Should I be worried?” I asked when Amber held a hand out for me. I let her pull me up and push me toward my room.

“Hell no. You want to forget about the dick, that’s what we’re gonna do. So slut it up, get yourself looking hot, and let’s go shout from the rooftop that your vagina is finally free!”

I laughed and shook my head. “You’re disgusting, you know that?”

“You love my kind of disgusting though. Hurry up, I want to run home and change too.”

Turning around, I pointed at her. “I just want to go have fun, I don’t want to find another guy.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Let’s get a few shots in you and see if you feel the same.”

Note to self: Buy a chastity belt and wear it whenever going out with Amber.

Connor

I SHOOK MY head and drained my beer as Dakota leaned over far enough that he was about to—­oh, never mind. There he went. Dumbass fell out of the damn chair leaning over to watch the girl leave with her friend.

“Shit, Kota, you already got her number, you don’t need to look like a fucking loser wishing he’d had the balls to talk to her.” I signaled the waitress for another beer and held out my hand. “Keys. You’re not . . . driving.” Shit.

My eyes landed on long, vibrant red hair. Messy in a way that only a girl like Maci could pull off.

“. . . not drunk, man,” Dakota’s voice filtered in as I shamelessly stared at his sister. “I just couldn’t stop looking. Did you see her ass?”

“Yeah,” I answered automatically. “Definitely saw it.” And I was still staring at it.

Maybe I shouldn’t be driving tonight; because other than having a death wish, a guy would have to be drunk to continue checking out his friend’s little sister right in front of him.

“Maci!” Dylan called out her name when he caught sight of her from where he was working on a table of girls I was positive had used fake IDs to get in here.

Maci’s body stilled before turning to the sound of her brother’s voice, followed by Dakota’s once he finally spotted her. She caught sight of me, and her eyes widened before narrowing. Her gray eyes didn’t leave me the entire time as Dylan walked her and that girl that was always at her apartment over to our table.

“I said where the fuck is he? Which one, Mini?” Dylan growled toward her ear, but loud enough that Dakota and I could still hear him.

Maci tried to shrug Dylan’s arm off her shoulders, and when he didn’t give, started pushing at his side. “I’ve already told you—­”

“Is her boyfriend here?” Dakota asked and stood up quickly, his eyes scanning the area where she’d just been standing.

“There’s no boyfriend! For fuck’s sake, can’t you leave me alone for one day?”

“Hi, which one are you?” Maci’s friend asked Dylan as she pressed against him.

“Amber, no, gross! Seriously, back off my brother. We’re leaving, you boys have fun getting wasted and hitting on girls too young for you. I’ve told you a dozen times there’s no boyfriend, and there isn’t,” Maci said, and her eyes met mine again. This time they were stone cold, and all expression had left her face. “There’s no man in my life, because not only do you all make it impossible, but every guy I’ve come across has proved to be nothing but an asshole.”