It was while we were at Grafton that Robert noticed me. I saw him start, look and look again.

He came to me and, bowing, said: "Lettice, it does me good to see you."

"And I am pleased to see you, my Lord Leicester."

"It was Lettice and Robert when we last met."

"That is a long time ago."

"Eight years."

"You remember then?"

"There are some things one never forgets."

The adventure was there. I saw it in his eyes. I believe, as with me, that danger was a fillip to his zest. We stood there looking at each other, and I knew he was remembering—as I was—intimate moments which had taken place behind the locked doors of that secret chamber where we had made love.

"We must meet again ... alone," he said.

I replied: "The Queen will not wish it."

"Tis true," he answered. "But if she does not know she cannot be displeased. Let me say that it pleases me that you will be with us at Kenilworth."

He left me. He was very anxious that the Queen should not be aware of our interest in each other. I persuaded myself that it might be because he feared I should be sent away again.

What excited me was that it was still the same between us. I missed nothing of that magnetism. It had increased with age. I hoped my attraction had for him. We only had to be near each other to know that we both had much to give.

This time, though, it would not be given so freely on my part. He would have to know that I wanted a relationship on a firmer basis. I thought of marrying him. How could I when I had a husband? That was right out of the question. But I would not be picked up and dropped at the Queen's command. I should make that clear to him from the start.

Now the days were full of excitement. We looked for each other and the glances which passed between us were significant. When the opportunity came we should be prepared to take it.

I think the tantalizing position added to our desire.

It would be easier when we were at Kenilworth.

It was the ninth of July when we reached the castle. There was a shout as it came into view and I saw Robert glance at the Queen, begging for her admiration. It was truly a magnificent sight. Those castellated towers and mighty keep proclaimed a fortress in very truth; and on the southwest side was a beautiful lake shimmering in the sunshine. This was spanned by a graceful bridge which Robert had recently had built; and beyond the castle the verdant forest was visible, promising the Queen good hunting.

"It has the look of a royal residence," said the Queen.

"Designed with the sole purpose of pleasing a queen," replied Robert.

"You'll put Greenwich and Hampton to shame," she retorted.

"Nay," replied Robert, always the courtier. "It is only your presence which gives these places their royalty. Without you they are but piles of stones."

I felt a desire to laugh. You lay it on too thickly, Robert, I thought; but she evidently did not think so, for she was giving him a loving, well-pleased look.

We were approaching the keep and ten girls dressed in palls of white silk to represent the sybils stood in a row barring our way. Then one of them stepped forward and spoke a rhyme extolling the perfections of the Queen and predicting a long and happy reign for her which would bring prosperity to her people.

I was watching her as the recitation went on. She loved every word. It was the kind of charade which had so appealed to her father and her love of it was one of the chief characteristics she had inherited from him. Robert watched her with deep satisfaction. How well he must know her! He must care for her in a way. How she must have frustrated him, holding the glittering crown out to him and then, just as he thought he might take it, drawing it back. If the prize had not been so great, if she did not hold his future in her hands, how long would he have allowed himself to be so treated?

We went on to the next little farce and I realized that this was a foretaste of what the next days would be like.

Robert led the Queen into the tiltyard, where they were met by a ferocious-looking man as tall as Robert himself; he wore a silk robe and brandished a club which he waved threateningly. Some of the ladies squealed in mock horror.

"What do you here?" he cried in a voice of thunder. "Know you not that this is the domain of the mighty Earl of Leicester?"

Robert answered: "Good servant, see you not who is among us?"

The giant opened his eyes in amazement as he turned to the Queen and shaded them as though blinded by such brilliance. Then he fell to his knees and when the Queen bade him to rise he offered her the club and the keys of the castle.

"Open the gates," he cried. "This is a day which will long be remembered at Kenilworth."

The gates were opened and we went through. On the walls of the courtyard stood six trumpeters in long silken robes; they were very impressive, for their trumpets were five feet long. They blew a welcome on these which made the Queen clap her hands in pleasure.

As we progressed the scene grew more spectacular. In the middle of the lake an island had been made and on this was a beautiful woman. Two nymphs lay at her feet and about them were a company of ladies and gentlemen holding high blazing torches.

The lady of the lake spoke a panegyric similar to those we had heard before. The Queen cried out that it was beautiful. Then she was led to the base court where was assembled a company dressed to represent the gods: Sylvanus of the woods offered her leaves and flowers, Ceres was there with corn, Bacchus with grapes, Mars with arms, and Apollo with musical instruments to sing a song of the nation's love for the Queen.

She received them all with gracious words, complimenting them on their skill and beauty.

Leicester told her that there was much more for her to see but he believed that she must now be weary and wished to rest. She must be thirsty too and he could promise her that she would find the ale at Kenilworth to her taste.

"I have made certain that nothing shall displease Your Majesty as it did at Grafton, by testing the ale, and, finding it harsh, I brought down ale makers from London so that we shall not offend you here."

"I can trust my dear Eyes to care for my comfort," said the Queen with emotion.

In the inner court a salute of guns was fired, and as she was about to pass into the castle, Robert drew her attention to the clock on that tower which was called Caesar's. Its face was of a delicate shade of blue and the numbers and hands were of pure gold. It could be seen all round the neighborhood. He begged her to watch it for a moment, for if she did she would see the gold hands stop.

"This signifies that while Your Majesty honors Kenilworth with her presence, time stands still," he told her.

She was clearly happy. How she loved this pomp and ceremony! How she loved this adulation and, above all, how she loved Robert!

There was some speculation among her entourage that surely on this visit she would announce her intention to marry him. It seemed certain that this was what Robert was hoping for.

Those days at Kenilworth will never be forgotten—not only by me, which is understandable, as they made a turning point in my life, but by all those present.

I think it is safe to say that there never was, nor ever will be, such entertainment as Robert devised for his Queen's pleasure.

There were displays of fireworks, Italian tumblers, bull- and bear-baiting, and of course tilting and tournaments. Wherever the Queen was, there must be dancing, and she would stay up far into the early hours of morning to dance and never seemed to tire of it.

In the first days at Kenilworth, Robert scarcely left her side, and in fact later he must never absent himself too long. On the rare occasions when he partnered others in the dance I saw her watch him closely and with impatience. I heard her say once: "I trust you enjoyed the dance, my Lord Leicester." She was very cold and very haughty until he leaned towards her and whispered something which made her smile and restored her good humor.

It was hardly possible to believe that they were not lovers.

I might have felt that I was dreaming of the impossible except for the fact that on several occasions I would see his eyes stray round the room and I knew they were looking for me; and when they found me something flashed between us. We were going to meet, but I knew that it was imperative that we take the utmost care.

I was schooling myself. When the moment came I wanted to be ready. No quick tumble behind locked doors this time, Robert. No "Let it be tonight if the Queen can spare me." He would be plausible. He was the most plausible man on earth, but I should be wary. I was wiser now.

It amused me to think that Elizabeth and I were rivals. She was a worthy adversary indeed with her weapons of power and promises of greatness ... and her threats, of course. "Do not think my favor is so locked up in you ..." Her father all over again. "I brought you up. I could as easily throw you down." Henry VIII had said that to his favorites ... men and women who had worked for him and given him of their best: Cardinal Wolsey, Thomas Cromwell, Catherine of Aragon, Anne Boleyn, poor little Catherine Howard—and Katharine Parr would have been another if he had not died in time. Henry had once loved Anne Boleyn as passionately as Elizabeth loved Robert, but that had not saved her. These thoughts must occur now and then to Robert. ,.

If I displeased her what would happen to me? Such was my nature that contemplation of my danger did not deter me; in some ways it added to my eagerness.