Лаура Миллер - My Butterfly

I looked through the glass to where the thin man was sitting and nodded my head.

A few seconds later, the music trickled through the big headphones, and I slowly brought my lips to the funny-looking microphone. I felt the words then grow in my stomach and then climb into my chest. They stayed there for a moment and then finally fell from my lips one by one — just like they had a hundred times before:

My lips hovered in front of the microphone as the last words of the ballad hit the black mesh and disappeared. But the music still played inside my big headset and filled my ears. I closed my eyes and took in each note, as a deep breath invaded my lungs. The song meant something to me, and I couldn’t sing it without feeling something too. I fought back the tightness in my chest as the small room eventually grew quiet again.

“That was great, Will,” I heard a muffled voice say into my ears. “I think we’ve got your single.”

A smile scurried to my lips. Those words sounded better together than I had ever imagined they could. I squeezed my fingers tightly around the guardian angel in my hand again, and suddenly, I felt one step closer.

“What’s this all about?” Chris asked when he entered the room.

“Not sure,” Matt said.

Daniel, Matt and I were already seated around a big desk in a small office. There was a window that overlooked the street behind the desk. And on the desk, there were office gadgets resembling every piece of the music industry you could dream up — including a guitar that was also a tape dispenser and a microphone that moonlighted as a lamp. I took a deep breath. The room smelled like a mixture of that cologne Jesse always wore and some kind of weird smell that came from an air freshener contraption on a shelf filled with little glass trophies. The contraption made a noise every couple of seconds and then puffed out a misty fog. I watched the fog now as it followed a path to the desk and then eventually disappeared. Then, I caught Matt’s stare. He held his gaze on me until I shrugged my shoulders and sat back in my chair.

Jesse flew into the room seconds later in perfect Jesse fashion — quick and dramatic. He looked as if he were in a rush; but then again, he always looked as if he were in a rush.

“How’s it going, guys?” he asked, falling into the leather chair behind the big desk.

He always asked the same question. But we knew not to answer it. There was never enough time from when he asked it to when he started talking again.

“I’ve got this band that’s interested in having you guys as the guest artists on their album,” he quickly went on. “Have you guys ever heard of Ren Lake?”

We all looked at each other like this guy was suddenly going to grow a snout and wings and fly out of the room and take the dream with him. This went on for a few seconds.

“Is that the knock-off of the real Ren Lake or something?” Chris eventually asked, chuckling to himself and sending us a quick glance.

We all kind of snickered, but Jesse just smiled and lowered his eyes to a spot on the surface of his desk.

“Good guess, but no,” he said, lifting his eyes again.

“Wait, you’re not telling us it’s the real Ren Lake?” Daniel asked.

Jesse’s mouth started to slowly turn up at its edges.

“I’m telling you there’s only one Ren Lake, and they want District 9,” he said.

The room instantly grew silent then. We all seemed to be studying the slender man facing us. Even I watched his every move: his every eye blink, the way he kept biting his bottom lip and furrowing his brow — as if he didn’t quite know what to make of our silence.

“Wow,” Chris eventually shouted. “Well, what did you tell them?”

Jesse paused for a moment.

“Well, I told them that I would have to talk to you guys first but that I think it would be a great fit.”

“Hot damn,” Chris shouted again.

He held his hand up in the air in front of Daniel, and Daniel high-fived it.

“So, what does this mean exactly?” Matt asked.

“Well, it means that you guys will be a part of Ren Lake’s new album, which means a lot more exposure for you. And we can never tell for sure where that exposure might lead, but the hope is that there will be more and bigger gigs, and in the future, possibly an album.”

“An album!” Chris shouted.

“Now, it would also most likely require significantly more time from you guys,” Jesse continued. “And I know you have the firefighter gig. I don’t know if, need be, you could take a leave of absence or something like that or even think about music as a career.”

Jesse sat back in his big, leather chair and smiled. I found Matt’s stare and then Daniel’s. Then, Jesse sat back up and shuffled some papers around his desk.

“But we can cross that bridge when we get there,” he said. “So, you guys in?”

We all looked at each other one more time. I tried to hold back a smile, but I couldn’t. And Chris and Daniel were already smiling when the corners of Matt’s mouth started to twitch upward.

“This only happens maybe once in a lifetime,” Chris said, his eyes big.

Matt shrugged his shoulders.

“We can figure the rest out as it comes, I guess,” Matt said.

I glanced at Daniel. He was nodding his head in agreement.

My eyes fell back onto Jesse, who had since abandoned the papers on his desk and now seemed to devote his full attention to the four of us.

“I think we’re in,” I said to him.

Jesse slowly nodded and then smiled.

“I thought you would be,” he said.

“I mean, really, is this really necessary?” Rachel asked, as she elbowed me in the arm. “I see these people almost everyday. And if I wanted to see them at night, I could do that too. The keyword here is if.”

“Oh, come on, Rach,” I said. “It isn’t that bad. Your five-year high school reunion only comes around once in a lifetime.”

She glared at me with narrowed eyes.

“The invitation said, ‘no guests,’” she continued. “What kind of a party do you go to that you can’t bring any guests?”

I shrugged my shoulders.

“I didn’t make the rules, Rach,” I said.

I grabbed two drinks from the counter, and at the same time, noticed a big guy in the opposite corner of the room.

“Wait, Rach, isn’t that Jon over there?” I asked.

“Hmm?” she asked.

She seemed disinterested.

“Jon,” I repeated.

“Oh, yeah, I brought him anyway,” she said, flipping her hand in the air.

I stared at her for a second as she walked away. Then, I smiled and followed her to a table in the corner of the room. We sat down, and I slid her a drink. She took a big gulp of it and then set the glass down.

“Great,” she exclaimed then, under her breath.

“What?” I asked.

“Don’t look back,” she said. “Maybe she won’t see us.”

“What?” I asked.

“Rachel! Will!”

I turned in my chair, but before I could get all the way around, a woman was already wrapping one arm around my back and hooking her hand onto my shoulder. She smelled of strong perfume.

“Janette,” Rachel said, in a hollow and unenthused tone.

I caught Rachel’s glare and smiled, knowingly.

“I didn’t know you two were going to be here,” Janette exclaimed, pulling up a chair and squeezing in between Rachel and me.

Rachel looked at me sideways. I shrugged my shoulders and smiled back at her.

“It’s our class reunion, Janette,” Rachel said. “Who did you expect to see here?”

Janette hadn’t seemed to have heard Rachel’s question, and if she had, she ignored it.

“Now, what are you two up to these days?” Janette asked in a high-pitched voice.

Rachel let out an exasperated puff of air.

“I’m teaching…,” Rachel started.

“That’s right,” Janette interrupted, as she tossed back her head and laughed. “That’s a silly question. You’re in Hartsville, and Will, are you still fighting those fires?”

She winked at me, and at the same time, she dug her long, red talons into my bicep.

“Yes, Janette,” I said, smiling up at Rachel.

Rachel scowled at me.

“Have you heard that my boyfriend just got a job at the bank?” she asked. “He’s in the accounting department. I don’t think you’ve met him. He went to Northwest Missouri, graduated near the top of his class.”