"It is nothing," I said. "I am going to the party myself, and I have to pass your door; it is no trouble."

That was not quite true, but nevertheless, Miss Bates accepted my excuse and the time of the carriage was arranged.


Monday 8 March

After a day’s work I was ready to enjoy the evening. I arranged for the carriage to be brought round in good time. I would not have taken it for myself, as I prefer to walk or ride, but I was glad to be able to show Miss Bates some attention, and to safeguard the health of her niece.

"Well, this is travelling in style, is it not, Jane?" asked Miss Bates as we drove to the Coles" house.

Miss Fairfax, thus appealed to, said it was, but she continued to be in low spirits. It is perhaps not to be expected that the Highbury air could do her any good in March, but when the weather improves, then I hope to see an improvement in her health.

We arrived. I helped the Bateses out but I did not immediately follow them inside, as Emma arrived just behind me.

As she stepped out of the carriage, I thought I had never seen her look better. Her gown could be glimpsed beneath her pelisse, and I could see that it was new. I noticed that her hair was done in a different style, and I was disappointed to think that it was all in compliment to Frank Churchill.

"This is coming as you should," she said in her nonsensical way, as she looked at my carriage appreciatively, "like a gentleman. I am quite glad to see you."

I shook my head and laughed, saying: "How lucky that we should arrive at the same moment; for, if we had first met in the drawing-room, I doubt whether you would have discerned me to be more of a gentleman than usual. You might not have distinguished how I came by my look or manner."

"Yes I should; I am sure I should," she said serenely.

"Nonsensical girl!"

I could not help my eyes following her as we went in, and I saw that the Coles had gone out of their way to please her. She was received with a cordial respect which could not but gratify her, and she was given all the consequence she could wish for. When the Westons arrived, their brightest smiles were for her, and Mr. Weston’s son went straight to her side.

I wanted to like him, but I could not. Insufferable puppy! To go to London for a haircut! And then to go straight away to Emma, and ignore the rest of the party!

I did not want to watch the two of them, but I found I could not help myself. He is of an age with her, he is handsome and charming, and what is more, the Westons wish the match. I have long suspected it, and now I am sure of it. They look upon her already as a daughter-in-law. But I cannot abide the thought of Emma being married to Frank Churchill!

To a good man, yes, one who knows her in all her moods, who can laugh at her follies and rejoice in her virtues; who will not allow her to give in to her worst instincts; one who knows her, and who, knowing her, will still love her, and love her as she should be loved.

And that man is not Frank Churchill.

I spent the rest of the evening in an unhappy state and paid little attention to the conversation over dinner. Elton and his interesting situation were talked over; Miss Fairfax’s new pianoforte was discussed; and Emma talked all the time to Frank Churchill.

What could he have to say to her that was so amusing? She seemed to value his every word. I heard some mention of Weymouth, but nothing that seemed to warrant such close attention.

I was glad when dinner came to an end. The ladies left us, and the talk turned to politics. Frank Churchill took no part in the discussion. As I watched him, I could not help thinking that there was something unsettled about him, something that did not ring true. He was very taken with Emma, and mentioned her often, but I thought his remarks were shallow and immature.

The talk moved on to parish business.

"I can have nothing of interest to add," he said, standing up, "and so I will go and join the ladies.

Perhaps I might be able to entertain them."

Weston looked pleased at this gallantry, and Cole remarked, when he had left the room: "An agreeable young man."

Hah! That was not my view of him, but I did not say so.

When we had finished with parish business, we moved through to the drawing-room, and I saw that he was sitting next to Emma. On her being spoken to by Mr. Cole, however, his eyes wandered to Miss

Fairfax. I hoped he might be switching his affections, but no such thing. As soon as Emma spoke to him, he was all attention again.

To turn my thoughts from this gloomy scene, I engaged Harriet in conversation, for she was sitting by herself. I asked her what she had been reading, and she told me she had been reading a romance. She looked nervously at Emma as she said so, and a further question elicited the information that she had been reading it at Mrs. Goddard’s and not at Hartfield. She talked about the book intelligently, however, and it was clear she had given it much thought.

I saw Emma glance at me several times, and look concerned. She supposed I was finding her little friend wanting. But Harriet is much improved, and there is a sweetness to her nature that will always recommend her to people of sense. She, at least, does not fly off to London for a haircut on a whim.

My attention was caught by a bustle round the pianoforte, and Emma was called upon to sing. I was just enjoying the song when Churchill, the coxcomb, joined her, unasked. Everyone complimented him on his voice, though I could not think it was anything out of the ordinary.

Miss Fairfax then played, and her music was, as always, superior. She played with a perfect mastery of the instrument, and sang with a sweetness of tone. But, somehow, I did not like to listen to her as much as I liked to listen to Emma.

I went to sit with Emma, and once the music was over, we fell into conversation.

"I often feel concerned that I dare not make our carriage more useful on such occasions," she said, commending me on bringing the Bateses. "It is not that I am without the wish; but you know how impossible my father would deem it that James should put-to for such a purpose," she said.

"It is quite out of the question," I said, but I was pleased with her kind thought. "You must often wish it, I am sure."

Her thoughts seemed to dwell on Miss Fairfax.

"This present from the Campbells - this pianoforte is very kindly given," she said.

It had been the talk of the evening, that Miss Fairfax had received a pianoforte. I agreed, but said they would have done better had they given her notice of it.

"Surprises are foolish things. The pleasure is not enhanced, and the inconvenience is often considerable," I said.

Miss Fairfax and Mr. Churchill were still singing, but Miss Fairfax’s voice was growing thick, and I had to urge Miss Bates to step in.

Emma did not seem to like my interference, but her displeasure was soon forgotten when singing gave way to dancing, and Frank Churchill claimed her hand.

I was obliged to sit and watch them, and to listen to Mr. Cole when he said had never seen anything finer, though I privately thought that Frank Churchill’s dancing was remarkably wooden. There was no grace to his movements, and twice he forgot the steps.


Tuesday 9 March

As I was passing Miss Bates’s house on my way to Kingston this morning, she hailed me from the window.

I asked after her niece, and cut short her effusive thanks for the use of my carriage by asking if she wanted anything from Kingston. She could not think of anything, but invited me in, and I was inclined to accept her offer as she said that Emma was there. I was just about to go inside when I learned that Frank Churchill was there as well, so I declined.

I had no wish to see the two of them together, nor indeed any desire to see Frank Churchill again.


Wednesday 10 March

I dined with the Coxes this evening. The Coles were there, as were the Bateses, Mrs. Goddard, the Otways, Graham and Mr. Longridge.

After dinner, there was some sensible discussion about ways to relieve the poor, but as soon as we rejoined the ladies in the drawing-room, the talk was all of a coming ball.

"It was Mr. Churchill’s idea," said Miss Cox. "He and Miss Woodhouse were so taken with the dancing at your house, Mrs. Cole, that they wanted to continue it, and so they have decided to hold a ball at the Crown. Mother and I just happened to pass Mr. Churchill when he was hurrying to see Miss

Bates, to ask her opinion on the size of the room."

"Ay, just the person to ask," said Mr. Longridge kindly.

"I do not know when I have been more gratified," said Miss Bates, taking up the tale. "Mother and I were just sitting down to a dish of tea when who should walk in but Mr. Frank Churchill! I was just thanking him for mending mother’s glasses - so kind! So obliging! For mother cannot see without them, and she could not wear them without the rivet, for you know it was quite impossible - what was I speaking of? Oh yes, the ball. Mr. Churchill asked me to go and give my opinion and he would not take no for an answer, and Jane was invited, too, of course, for I am sure no one knows more about elegant gatherings than Jane, through having been to so many with the Campbells. I went across to the Crown and told them the rooms were perfectly large enough, and no draughts to be feared, as long as the windows are kept closed. Mr. Churchill was so obliging as to secure Miss Woodhouse’s hand for the first two dances, so we will all be treated to some dancing of the most superior kind."