Robert Martin is my idea of a man. He does not shirk uncomfortable duties, but faces up to them. If Robert Martin was Frank Churchill, I am persuaded that he would have paid a visit to his new stepmother by now. He would have found time, even if he had had to travel overnight to do so. He is a sad loss to Harriet, whatever Emma thinks. He would have made her an estimable husband. And she would have made him, if not an estimable, then, at least, a pretty wife.

With these thoughts in mind, I was again in no mood to walk to Hartfield after dinner. I looked over my accounts, and then read a book instead.


Saturday 12 December

I called on Miss Bates this morning on my way into Kingston, and assured myself that the logs had arrived. I found Graham there with his sister, Mrs. Lovage, who had joined him again from Bath.

I thought of what Weston had said, and I made sure I was no more than polite when greeting her, as

I did not want to raise hopes that I had no intention of satisfying.

After exchanging civilities, I was, however, heartened by something Mrs. Lovage said.

"I saw a young friend of yours yesterday. She is very good. She was taking relief to the poor."

"What young friend do you mean?"

"I mean Miss Woodhouse, and Miss Smith was with her."

"Oh, yes, Miss Woodhouse is always so good," said Miss Bates.

"How did you come across her?" I asked.

"I happened to be walking along Vicarage Lane and I passed them going in the opposite direction. Miss Woodhouse was walking along with a little girl from one of the cottages. The child was carrying a pitcher for soup, and Miss Woodhouse was bearing her company. I thought it very good of her, for it must have been much pleasanter for her if she had walked ahead with Miss Smith and Mr. Elton."

"Mr. Elton!" I exclaimed.

"Such a good man," said Miss Bates. "Always so helpful!"

"Yes," said Mrs. Lovage, smiling at Miss Bates. Then she turned again to me. "Whether he had joined them in their charitable venture, or whether he had met them by chance, I do not know. He seemed very attentive. He slowed his pace as he tried to wait for Miss Woodhouse, but she remained behind with the child."

"Did she indeed?" I asked.

My good humour left me. So Emma had still not abandoned her plan of throwing Harriet and Elton together. But perhaps I am misjudging her. Perhaps her charity had been prompted by a desire to do good, and not by a desire to show her friend in an amiable light.

"And what of you, Mr. Knightley? How have you been spending your time since I last visited Highbury?"

"Looking after the Abbey," I said.

"You must have had some pleasure as well."

"Oh, yes, Mr. Knightley, you must have some pleasure," said Miss Bates. "So good to everyone else, and never thinking of yourself."

"I think of myself a great deal. I have my whist and my visiting, and when I am at home I have my books. A man must be very hard to please if he wants more."

"But have you never longed to go to Bath?" asked Mrs. Lovage.

"I have already been, and found nothing there that was so very extraordinary."

"But the people…" she said.

"I like the people here," I said. To my dismay, she appeared to take my remark as a compliment, and so I quickly disabused her of the notion by adding: "The Bateses, the Westons and your brother are my oldest friends."

"Ah, good, I am glad you like my brother," she said satirically.

She smiled at me invitingly, but I did not prolong the conversation.

Many men would have found her attentions flattering, but as I knew I could not return them, they made me uncomfortable, and I found myself wishing to resume my evenings at Hartfield instead.


Sunday 13 December

I watched Emma closely at church this morning, and from the looks that passed between her and Harriet, I was convinced that she had told Harriet of her plans for a marriage with Elton. I found myself growing angry, for it will only lead to disappointment and humiliation for the girl.

Emma caught my eye as we waited for the service to begin, and she turned away hastily. As well she might!

I gave my attention to the rest of the congregation. Graham was there with his sister and Mr. Longridge. The Coles and the Otways were there, and the Westons, of course. There was still no sign of Frank Churchill, and I found myself beginning to wonder if we would ever see him in Highbury.

Elton had not forgotten his duty as vicar of Highbury, even if he had forgotten his sense, for he led Mrs. Bates and her daughter to the vicarage pew when they arrived. Miss Bates was overcome by the kindness.

"So kind! - Mother finds it hard to hear, a sore trial to her, as well as to the rest of us, and dear Jane has even mentioned it several times - a letter? Yes, yesterday, not so well, I thank you, she has a cold which will not go. However, Mrs. Campbell is being very kind - I am sure mother did not expect such attention. I never expected to find myself sitting in the vicarage pew, and I know I can speak for my mother when I say we are both overwhelmed."

Unfortunately, I saw Elton glance at Emma as he performed this office, and although the kindness was not done for her benefit, he certainly was not sorry to have it witnessed. It won him smiles from Emma and Harriet, then Emma said something to her friend, and Harriet blushed, and glanced at Elton, and he went up into the pulpit as though he was walking on air.

I have resolved not to interfere. I have warned Emma, and I can do no more.

I returned to the Abbey in a vexed state of mind, and found myself wishing Elton would marry Mrs. Lovage. Then Emma could see her mistake, we could make our peace and go back to our old, familiar ways. I miss my evenings at Hartfield, and, for all her vexatious ways, I miss Emma.


Monday 14 December

At last I have found a pony for the children. Henry in particular will need to be a good horseman if he is to inherit the Abbey.


Tuesday 15 December

Our whist evening was well-attended. Cole was particularly cheerful.

"We are having a new dining-room," he said, as we met at the Crown. "Mrs. Cole has been wanting to hold dinner parties for some time now, and I have promised her a new dining-room for Christmas."

"My wife used to enjoy giving dinner parties," said Longridge. "She was always so talkative and so gay. She brightened my life, Mr. Cole. A man needs a wife to bring sunshine into his home."

"We hope you will join us," said Cole, then included all of us in the invitation.

"Delighted," said Longridge.

"A splendid idea," said Weston. "Nothing better than company. No point in sitting at home, unless friends are there, and every reason for going abroad." He looked at me and laughed. "Knightley does not agree."

"I like company well enough, but I am equally happy with my own," I said.

"I hope you will honour us with a visit?" Cole said, a shade anxiously.

Not so very long ago, Cole was living in a modest style, before success brought him larger ideas. I could not help thinking of Emma, and how she would be horrified to think of the master of Donwell Abbey taking dinner with Mr. Cole. I smiled as I thought of her nonsense.

"Delighted," I said.


Thursday 17 December

John and Isabella arrived from London today, and I dined with them at Hartfield. When I went in, Emma was dancing little Emma in her arms in such a delightful way that it was difficult to decide which was prettier, the eight-month-old baby, or Emma herself. They both looked sweet and innocent, and it was a sight to melt away much of my anger. It was further melted by the fact that, as I walked in and Emma’s eyes turned towards me, I detected a look of uncertainty on her face. It told me she was not as happy with her own behaviour as she professed to be, for if she had been confident about it, then she would have greeted me with sauciness.

"You are well?" I asked her civilly, but without my usual warmth, as the memory of Robert Martin’s disappointment was still in my mind.

"Very well. And little Emma is well, too, are you not, my dear?" she asked the infant.

Little Emma gurgled in reply.

As I took the baby from her, she said to me, in a spirit of mischief, but still with some uncertainty:

"What a comfort it is, that we think alike about our nephews and nieces. As to men and women, our opinions are sometimes very different; but with regard to these children, I observe we never disagree."

She wanted to make friends, that much was clear, and I told her, in friendly fashion, that if she would only let herself be guided by nature when she was esteeming men and women, as she was when she was esteeming the children, we would always think alike.

"To be sure, our discordances must always arise from my being in the wrong," she said, her good humour restored.

"With good reason," I said with a smile. "I was sixteen years old when you were born."

"A material difference then, and no doubt you were much my superior in judgement at that period of our lives; but does not the lapse of one-and-twenty years bring our understandings a good deal nearer?"

"Yes - a good deal nearer," I said.

"But still, not near enough to give me a chance of being right, if we think differently," she said saucily.

I smiled.

"I have still the advantage of you by sixteen years" experience, and by not being a pretty young woman and a spoiled child. Come, my dear Emma, let us be friends and say no more about it." I turned to the baby. "Tell your aunt, little Emma, that she ought to set you a better example than to be renewing old grievances, and that if she were not wrong before, she is now."