Tuesday 5th August

I cannot believe it. I have seen Elizabeth. I scarce know what I am writing. It was so strange.

We were returning to Pemberley, Bingley, his sisters, Mr Hurst, Georgiana and I, when we stopped for lunch at an inn. The day was hot and the ladies were tired. They did not wish to travel further, and indeed I had told my housekeeper we would not arrive until tomorrow. But I was restless. I decided to go ahead, meaning to see Johnson and put some of the estate business out of the way before my guests arrived.

I rode on to Pemberley. It was a beautiful afternoon, and I enjoyed the ride. I was just leaving the stables and walking round to the front of the house when I stopped short. I wondered if I was hallucinating. The day was hot, and I wondered if I had caught the sun. For there in front of me was a figure I knew well. It was Elizabeth.

She was walking across the lawn to the river, in the company of two people whom I did not know. At that moment she turned to look back. She saw me. I stood rooted to the spot. We were within twenty yards of each other. There was no question of avoiding her, even had I wished it. Our eyes met and I saw her blush. I felt my own countenance grow hot.

At last I recovered myself. I advanced towards the party. She had instinctively turned away, but stopping on my approach, she received my compliments with great embarrassment. I felt for her, and would have made it easier for her if I could.

As I spoke to her I could not help wondering what she was doing there. To be at Pemberley! It seemed so strange, and yet at the same time so right.

‘I hope you are well?’ I asked.

‘Yes, thank you,’ she said, flushing, and unable to meet my gaze.

‘And your family?’

As soon as I said it I saw her flush more deeply, and I felt an answering flush cross my face. I had no right to ask after her family, having abused them so roundly to her face, but she answered me civilly enough.

‘They are well, thank you.’

‘How long ago did you quit Longbourn?’

‘Almost a month.’

‘You have been travelling?’

‘Yes.’

‘You are enjoying it, I hope?’

‘Yes.’

I repeated myself thrice more, asking her if she had enjoyed herself, until I felt it was better if I remain silent, since I could think of nothing sensible to say. After a few moments I recollected myself and took my leave.

To find Elizabeth, here, at Pemberley! And to find her willing to talk to me. She had been embarrassed, but she had not turned away. She had answered every question with more civility than I deserved.

What was she thinking? I wondered. Was she pleased to have met me? Mortified? Indifferent? No, not that last.

She had blushed when I approached. She had been angry, perhaps, but not indifferent.

The thought gave me hope.

I went into the house, but instead of making for the steward’s room I found myself going into the drawing-room.

She had not been at ease, that much was clear, and I had done nothing to help her. I had been so overcome with surprise, and a range of other emotions I dare not put a name to, that I had been incoherent.

A gentleman would have set her at ease. A gentleman would have made her feel at home. A gentleman would have asked to be introduced to her companions. How far below this mark I had fallen! I resolved to mend matters at once.

Going out into the grounds, I enquired of one of the gardeners which way the visitors had gone, and set off after them.

I saw them down by the river. I approached. Never had a walk seemed so long. Would she be pleased to see me? I hoped, at least, she would not be displeased.

I came upon her. She began speaking at once, with something more of ease than previously.

‘Mr Darcy. You have a delightful estate here. The house is charming, and the grounds are very pleasant.’

She seemed about to go on, then coloured. I believe we both thought the same: the house could now be hers, if she had accepted my hand.

To help her over her distress, I said: ‘Will you do me the honour of introducing me to your friends?’

She looked surprised, then smiled. There was a trace of mischief in it, and as soon as I saw it, I realized how much I had missed her.

‘Mr Darcy, may I introduce my aunt and uncle, Mr and Mrs Gardiner,’ she said.

I understood the cause of her mischievous smile at once. These were the very relatives I had railed against, and yet I had been wrong to despise them. They were not the low connections I had been fearing. Indeed, before she had introduced them I had taken them to be people of fashion.

‘We were just returning to the house,’ said Mr Gardiner. ‘The walk has tired my wife.’

‘Allow me to walk back with you.’

We fell into step.

‘You have a fine estate here, Mr Darcy.’

‘Thank you. I believe it to be one of the finest in England – but then I am partial!’

Mr and Mrs Gardiner laughed.

‘Your man has been showing me the trout in the river,’ said Mr Gardiner.

‘Do you enjoy fishing?’

‘Yes, when I have the opportunity.’

‘Then you must fish here as often as you choose.’

‘That is very kind of you, but I have not brought my tackle.’

‘There is plenty here. You must use it when you come. ’ I stopped. ‘That is a good stretch of the river,’ I said, pointing out one of the best stretches for trout.

I saw Elizabeth and her aunt exchange glances, and I could not help but notice Elizabeth’s look of astonishment. Did she think me incapable of being polite?

Perhaps. I had given little evidence of it in Hertfordshire.

I could not help looking at her, though I talked to her uncle. Her face, her eyes, her mouth, all held me. I thought she looked well, and though she seemed embarrassed, I saw no hostility in her expression.

After a little time, Mrs Gardiner took her husband’s arm, and I was left to walk by Elizabeth.

‘I did not know you would be here,’ she began at once. ‘My aunt had a fancy to see Pemberley. She lived in the neighbourhood when she was a girl. But we were told you would not return until tomorrow.’

So she had discovered that, and had only come on the understanding she would not see me. My spirits sank, but rose again as I realized that fate had played into my hands. If I had not decided to tend to my estate business, I would be with Georgiana at the inn, instead of here with Elizabeth.

‘That was my intention, but a matter to be settled with my steward brought me here a few hours before my companions. They will join me early tomorrow, and among them are some who will claim an acquaintance with you – Mr Bingley and his sisters.’

I could not help but think of all that had passed between us on the subject of Bingley, and I guessed her thoughts tended in the same direction. I wondered whether I should say something; give her some indication of my change of sentiment; but I did not know how to begin.

Instead, I said: ‘Will you allow me, or do I ask too much, to introduce my sister to your acquaintance during your stay at Lambton?’

‘I would like that very much.’

There was a warmth in her voice, and in the smile that accompanied it, that greatly relieved my fears.

We walked on in silence, but more easily than before.

The air was not so tense, and there was, if not ease between us, at least no more embarrassment.

We reached the carriage. Her aunt and uncle were some way behind.

‘Will you come into the house? Would you like some refreshment?’

‘No, thank you,’ she said. ‘I must wait for my aunt and uncle.’

I was disappointed, but I did not press her.

I tried to think of something to say. I wanted to tell her how wrong I had been. She, too, looked as though she wished to speak, but what she wanted to say I did not know.

At last she began, but it was only to say: ‘Derbyshire is a beautiful county.’

‘Have you seen much of it?’

‘Yes. We have been to Matlock and Dove Dale.’

‘They are well worth seeing.’

My conversation was inane. Hers was little better.

There was so much that lay unspoken between us, but now was not the time. Perhaps, in a few days, when we came to know each other better again…

Her aunt and uncle drew closer. I invited them in for refreshment, but they declined. I handed the ladies into the carriage and it drove away. I watched it for as long as I could without my regard seeming particular, and then walked slowly into the house.

I had not said any of the things I wanted to say, but the knowledge that I would be seeing Elizabeth again sustained me.

My spirits felt lighter than they had done for a very long time.


Wednesday 6th August

I was out of bed very early. I could not sleep. I looked for Georgiana and at last she arrived, with Bingley and his sisters. I greeted them warmly, and then telling Georgiana I wished to show her a new specimen of tree in the grounds I invited her for a walk. She went with me readily. When we were some distance from the house I said:

‘Georgiana, there is someone I would like you to meet.’

She looked at me enquiringly.

‘When I was in Hertfordshire last autumn, I met a young lady by the name of Elizabeth Bennet. I liked her very much.’

Georgiana looked surprised, then pleased.

‘She is visiting Derbyshire, and she is staying at a nearby inn. If you are not too tired, I would like to take you to meet her this morning.’

I knew that it was sudden, but now that I had found Elizabeth again, I could not wait to introduce her to my sister.