‘I see you have met the estimable Mr Collins,’ said Caroline to me as we went into supper. ‘He is another of the Bennet relatives. Really, they seem to have the most extraordinary collection. I think this one surpasses even the uncle in Cheapside. What do you think, Mr Darcy?’

‘We may all have relatives we are not proud of,’ I said.

It gave Caroline pause. She likes to forget that her father made his fortune in trade.

‘Very true,’ she answered. I thought she had acquired some sense, but a moment later she said, ‘I have just been speaking to Eliza Bennet. She seems to have developed the most extraordinary liking for George Wickham. I do not know if you realized, but he is to attach himself to the militia here. It is of all things the most vexing, that you should be plagued with a man like George Wickham. My brother did not wish to invite him, I know, but he felt he could not make an exception of him when inviting the other officers.’

‘It would have looked particular,’ I conceded.

Bingley could not be blamed for the situation.

‘I know that Charles was very pleased when Wickham took himself out of the way. Charles would not wish to disconcert you in any way. Knowing Wickham was not a man to be trusted, I warned Eliza Bennet against him, telling her that I knew he had behaved infamously to you, though I did not have all the particulars…’

She paused, but if she was expecting me to enlighten her, she was to be disappointed. My dealings with Wickham will never be made public, nor told to anyone who does not already know of them.

‘…but she ignored my warning and leapt to his defence in the wildest way.’

I was about to put an end to her conversation, as it was causing me no small degree of pain, when another voice penetrated the chatter. I recognized the strident tones at once. They were those of Mrs Bennet. I had no wish to listen to her conversation, but it was impossible not to hear what she was saying.

‘Ah! She is so beautiful I knew she could not be so beautiful for nothing. My lovely Jane. And Mr Bingley!

What a handsome man. What an air of fashion. And such pleasing manners. And then, of course, there is Netherfield. It is just the right distance from us, for she will not like to be too close, not with her own establishment to see to, and yet it will take no time at all for her to come and visit us in the carriage. I dare say she will have a very fine carriage. Probably two fine carriages. Or perhaps three. The cost of a carriage is nothing to a man with five thousand pounds a year.’

I found myself growing rigid as I listened to her running on.

‘And then his sisters are so fond of her.’

I was glad that Caroline’s attention had been claimed by a young man to her left, and that she did not hear. Her fondness for Jane would evaporate in a moment if she knew where Mrs Bennet’s thoughts were tending. But it was not just Mrs Bennet’s thoughts. Sir William’s thoughts had been running in the same direction.

I looked along the table, and saw Bingley talking to Miss Bennet. His manner was as open as ever, but I thought I detected something of more than usual regard.

In fact, the longer I watched him, the more I became sure that his feelings were engaged. I watched Miss Bennet, and although I could tell that she was pleased to talk to him, she gave no signs that her feelings were in any way attached. I breathed more easily. If I could but remove Bingley from the neighbourhood, I felt sure that he would soon forget her, and she would forget him.

If it had only been a matter of Miss Bennet, I might not have been so concerned at the thought of Bingley marrying her, but it was not only a matter of Miss Bennet, it was a matter of her mother, who was an unbridled gossip, and her indolent father, and her three younger sisters who were either fools or common flirts, and her uncle in Cheapside, and her uncle the attorney, and on top of all this, her strange connection, the obsequious clergyman….

As I listened to Mrs Bennet, I felt the time was fast approaching when I must take a hand. I could not abandon my friend to such a fate, when a little effort on my part would extricate him from his predicament.

I was sure that with a few weeks in London, he would soon find a new flirt.

‘I only hope you may be so fortunate, Lady Lucas,’ Mrs Bennet continued, though evidently believing there was no chance of her neighbour sharing her fortune. ‘To have a daughter so well settled – what a wonderful thing!’

Supper was over. It was followed by a display from Mary Bennet, whose singing was as bad as her playing.

To make matters worse, when her father finally removed her from the pianoforte, he did so in such a way as to make any decent person blush.

‘That will do extremely well, child. You have delighted us long enough. Let the other young ladies have time to exhibit.’

Was there ever a more ill-judged speech?

The evening could not be over too soon, but by some coincidence or contrivance, I know not which, the Bennet carriage was the last to arrive.

‘Lord, how tired I am!’ exclaimed Lydia Bennet, giving a violent yawn that set Caroline and Louisa exchanging satirical glances.

Mrs Bennet would not be quiet, and talked incessantly. Mr Bennet made no effort to check her, and it was one of the most uncomfortable quarter-hours of my life.

To save Bingley from such company became uppermost in my mind.

‘You will come to a family dinner with us, I hope, Mr Bingley?’ said Mrs Bennet.

‘Nothing would give me greater pleasure,’ he said. ‘I have some business to attend to in London, but I will wait upon you as soon as I return.’

The knowledge delighted me. It means I will not have to think of a way of removing him from the neighbourhood, for if he happens to remain in London, then the contact with Miss Bennet will be broken and he will not think of her any more.

I intend to speak to Caroline, to make sure that Jane’s affections are not engaged, and if I find, as I suspect, that they are not, then I shall suggest that we remove to London with Bingley and persuade him to remain there. A winter in town will cure him of his affections, and leave him free to bestow them on a more deserving object.


Wednesday 27th November

Bingley left for London today.

‘Caroline, I wish to speak to you,’ I said, when he had departed.

Caroline looked up from her book and smiled.

‘I am at your disposal.’

‘It is about Miss Bennet that I wish to speak.’

Her smile dropped, and I felt I was right in thinking that her affection for her friend was on the wane.

‘There were several allusions made at the ball, suggesting that some of Bingley’s new neighbours were expecting a marriage to take place between him and Miss Bennet.’

‘What!’ cried Caroline.

‘I thought it would distress you. I can see nothing in Miss Bennet’s manner that makes me think she is in love, but I want your advice. You know her better than I do.

You have been in her confidence. Does she entertain tender feelings for your brother? Because, if so, those feelings must not be trifled with.’

‘She has none at all,’ said Caroline, setting my mind at rest.

‘You are sure of this?’

‘I am indeed. She has talked of my brother a number of times, but only in the terms she uses for every other young man of her acquaintance. Why, I am sure she has never thought of Charles in that light. She knows he does not mean to settle at Netherfield, and she is simply amusing herself whilst he is here.’

‘It is as I thought. But Bingley’s feelings are in a fair way to being engaged.’

‘I have had the same fear. If he should be foolish enough to ally himself with that family, he will regret it for ever.’

‘He will. I think we must separate them, before their behaviour gives rise to even more expectations. If it does, there will come a time when those expectations must be fulfilled, or the lady’s reputation will suffer irreparable harm.’

‘You are quite right. We must not damage dear Jane’s reputation. She is such a sweet girl. Louisa and I quite dote on her. She must not be harmed.’

Mr Hurst interrupted us at that moment.

‘Coming to dine with the officers?’ he asked. ‘They invited me to go along. Sure you’d be welcome.’

‘No,’ I said. I wanted to finish my conversation with Caroline.

Hurst managed an idle shrug and called for the carriage.

‘I propose we follow Bingley to London. If we stay with him there, he will have no reason to return,’ I said.

‘An excellent plan. I will write to Jane tomorrow. I will say nothing out of the ordinary, but I will let her know that Charles will not be returning this winter, and I will wish her enjoyment of her many beaux this Christmas.’


Thursday 28th November

Caroline’s letter was written and sent this morning, shortly before we departed for London.

‘Heard the damnedest thing in Meryton last night,’ said Mr Hurst as the coach rattled along on its way to London.

I did not pay much attention, but on his continuing I found myself attending to him.

‘The Bennet girl – what was her name?’

‘Jane,’ supplied Louisa.

‘No, not her, the other one. The one with the petticoat.’

‘Ah, you mean Elizabeth.’

‘That’s the one. Had an offer from the clergyman.’

‘An offer? From the clergyman? What do you mean?’ asked Caroline and Louisa together.

‘An offer of marriage. Collins. That was his name.’

‘Mr Collins! How delicious!’ said Louisa.