J Croft - Mr. Darcy Takes the Plunge

“It is over, Charles. It is all over. I tried so very hard to fit in, but now it does not matter. I have ruined everything, and I am so, so sorry for you. I do not care about myself, but I would do anything to protect you from what is about to happen. Perhaps you should send me away somewhere … far away from here. I hate it, Charles! I hate this place and this society. They never accepted me, not really. I truly did try, though. Perhaps that is the problem. I tried too hard. Oh, how could I have been such a bird-brained goose?”

“Caroline, please tell me. Whatever it is, we will get through this together. I am here for you. Allow me to help.”

“I do not deserve your kindness, brother. Nonetheless, you would certainly find out soon enough anyway; so I will confess before the gossip reaches you. If you wish to be rid of me afterward, I will write to our relatives in Staffordshire and see if they will have me.”

“Good God, Caroline! Has some man … Have you been compromised in any way? Is that the cause of your dolour? Are you … are you with child?”

“Charles! Most certainly not! My goodness, I was beginning to think my problem could not be more wretched. That said, I suppose there are others in worse situations.”

Her brother crouched down in front of her and held her hands. “Tell me then, you silly goose. I promise not to be angry. Regardless, I need to know what has happened so we can start to work on a solution.”

Caroline took a deep breath through her mouth, released it, and said, “I gave someone of our acquaintance the cut indirect and was dealt what I deserved, the cut direct.”

She hung her head in shame but quickly raised it when Charles snorted and said, “Is that all?”

“Charles, you do not understand. I was, quite rightly, given the cut direct by the Lady Matlock and the Darcy family.”

“Darcy renounced you?”

“No, it was the ladies of his family … Lady Anne, Miss Darcy, and Miss Anna, in company with Lady Matlock, at Harding, Howell & Co. this afternoon. The store was crowded with members of the ton. I am ruined, Charles; and you will surely be shunned as well.”

“Darcy will not allow that to occur, Caroline. He is a true friend; in fact, he warned me this might happen. I should have spoken to you sooner. When I consider I might have prevented this if I had but explained some of his concerns to you, I am grieved, indeed, by my procrastination. Wretched, wretched mistake.”

“You are certainly not to blame for my foolhardiness, brother. Be that as it may, I do not understand. About what did Mr. Darcy warn you? He could not possibly have known I would give the cut indirect to those Bennet women.”

“Caroline, no! Do you mean to tell me you cut the angelic Miss Jane Bennet? How could you?”

“It was not Miss Bennet I was trying to insult but her insufferab … her sister, Miss Eliza - beth. They are merely countrified yokels who are on close terms with servants, Charles. I know you met them at Pemberley, but are you actually acquainted with the family?”

“Not as well as I would care to be. The Bennets are not yokels, Caroline. They are wealthy, fashionable, respected members of the gentry, who own a townhouse here as well as an estate in Hertfordshire. They and the Darcy family have been on quite friendly terms lately. Now, tell me exactly what happened earlier today when you were shopping.”

His sister described what occurred outside and inside the department store. Charles suggested they should together visit the three families involved and apologize to the ladies. “However, Caroline, we shall not grovel. We still have enough self respect not to stoop that low.”

When Caroline became agitated and protested she could not possibly face them again, her brother tried to soothe and comfort her. “I will be right beside you; and I will do most of the talking, if you wish. Even so, I insist you give an honest and heartfelt apology to Lady Matlock, the Darcy ladies, and both Bennet sisters. I still do not understand your antagonism toward Miss Elizabeth, though.”

“I am embarrassed to admit it; however, Mr. Darcy seemed to be paying such an undue amount of attention to her that I became rather … He was never mine, was he?” When Charles sadly shook his head, she continued, “Then the correct word would be envious rather than jealous. She seemed to be a nobody from nowhere who immediately had his admiration, whereas I had been trying for so long for even just a crumb of regard from the man.”

“Caroline, are you truly in love with Darcy?”

“Love? What has love to do with it? He is a handsome, respected, eligible young man who happens to be heir to a vast fortune. I admit, without hesitation, I am more in love with the idea of being Mistress of Pemberley than with the man who comes along with it. I very much regret losing whatever connection we may have had with that grand estate. I miss the north. Perhaps it would be best for me to go live in Staffordshire. We do not belong in this society, Charles. Why have I been trying so hard to fit in? Oh, why did our wealth have to come from shoes of all things? How low and shoddy!”

“Caroline! Was that a pun?”

“Whatever do you mean? I most certainly would never stoop to that insufferable form of so-called humour. I have some dignity remaining after all, brother. As I was saying, although I knew we were low-born, I thought if I emulated the attitudes I observed in our betters, I might gain their acceptance. Foolish, foolish girl!”

“Ah, but Caroline, are they really our betters? They may have vast amounts of wealth, distinguished bloodlines, noble lineage and titles, and be more fashionable. For all that, are they truly better people? Some of the young ladies with whom you have been associating are vile, vain, and vacuous. I wish you could be friends with people like the Bennets. No, do not give me that look, sister. They are the women you would do well to emulate.”

“Am I really so unattractive and unappealing, Charles? What can I do to improve? Please help me.”

“Your snobbish attitude has probably been a defensive strategy used to deny feelings of insecurity. We shall work on boosting your confidence and self worth. Be that as it may, we first must choke down some rather unsavoury tripe.”

“Of what are you speaking, brother? Truly, I have no appetite for dinner tonight.”

“No, my dear sister, I refer to the fact we must soon eat humble pie.”

Fitzwilliam Darcy had sobered considerably by the time he and Ellis Fleming approached his townhouse. The two young gents quietly entered and evaded detection, except by a few curious yet scrupulous attendants. Fleming ensured his friend was comfortably settled in the library and said, “I shall leave you now; however, I have been invited to dine with your family this evening, so I will return in several hours. Promise me you will not be making indentures in the meantime. You have had quite enough to drink already this afternoon, Ditzwilliam Farcy.”

Darcy waved his friend away and clumsily removed his cravat, coat, and shoes. He stretched out on a cozy couch in the hope of sleeping off the effects of more than just a wee tot of brandy. While in the middle of a strange dream, in which Elizabeth was both his wife and the Exchequer Minister, the library door flew open with a bang that sounded like a gunshot through his stupor. He jolted upright, which made the room spin wildly. “What the … ”

Georgiana gasped “Oh!” upon entering the room. “Sorry, brother. I did not realize the library was occupied. Have you seen Barb Thorne? She has escaped again from Anna.”

“Chancellor?”

“I beg your pardon? Fitzwilliam, are you unwell?”

“Ah, no. Yes. Pardon? I fell asleep, you see.”

“You are behaving rather strangely. I asked if you have seen Anna’s hedgehog.”

Darcy groggily grinned as he remembered a fragment of his dream in which he and the beautiful Chancellor of the Exchequer had been waltzing. He muttered, “I dreamt I was actually holding her in my arms.”

“You have never liked holding hedgehogs. Yet you had your hands on Barbara in a dream?”

“No, on Elizabeth. Who is Bar … Wait … Georgie, did you just say hanson barberin?”

“No. I said ‘hands on Barbara in … ’ oh, never mind! Truly, brother, you are not speaking coherently.” She frowned and marched over to determine whether he was feverish but was appalled to find, instead, that he reeked of alcohol. “Fitzwilliam Darcy! Have you been liberally imbibing sufficient amounts of spirits to actually be inebriated at this hour of the day?”

He sheepishly admitted he had, indeed, consumed a quantity of alcoholic beverages at his club. As the intoxicating dream of dancing with Elizabeth faded like a wisp of smoke, he immediately remembered the underlying cause for the drinking binge. Darcy instantly became melancholy, slid back down, and reclined with his forearm over his eyes.

Georgiana sensed her brother was troubled by more than the effects of alcohol and tried to cheer him. “Why are you having a fit of the blue-devils? I should think you would be in high spirits at the prospect of spending tomorrow night in the presence of a certain young lady of our acquaintance. Have you already reserved a set or two with Elizabeth, brother? I hope you secured her for at least the first, supper, or final set; or perhaps you have been sly enough to ask for two of those. Mr. Fleming has requested all three sets from me; still, I wish … ”