His whole life he’d longed for someone to touch him this way, to touch the boy in him as well as the man, to soothe, reassure. The feel of her fingers in his hair brought back a measure of all he’d missed. He was parched earth, she fresh rain. He, a waiting vessel, she rich wine. And in those moments of closeness she filled him, filled all the lacks endowed him by his shiftless, loner’s life, becoming at once all the things he’d needed-mother, father, friend, wife, and lover.

When he felt sated he lifted his head as if drunk with pleasure.

"I used to watch you touch the boys that way. I wanted to say, Touch me, too, like you touch them. Nobody ever did that to me before, Elly."

"I’ll do it anytime you like. Wash your hair, comb it, rub your back, hold your hand-"

His mouth stopped her words. It seemed risky to accept too much in this first, grand rush. He kissed her with gratitude changing swiftly to the lushness of fresh-sprung love. He braced higher and pushed her softly into the pillow, letting his hand rove over her neck and shoulder, suckling her mouth, spreading his fingers on her face, resting a thumb so near it almost became part of the kiss. His body beckoned to join more fully in this union. Realizing this was impossible, he broke the kiss but spanned her throat with his hand. Her pulsebeat matched the quickness of his own.

"You know how long I’ve loved you?"

"How long?"

"Since the day you threw the egg at me."

"All that time and you never said anything. Oh, Will…"

A swift slew of possessiveness hit him. He claimed her mouth again, washing its interior with his tongue, holding her arms locked hard around his neck. He bit her lips. She bit back. He lifted a knee and pressed it high and hard between her legs. She opened them and squeezed his thigh. He circled her immense waist and held her as if forever.

"Tell me again," he demanded insatiably.

"What?" she teased.

"You know. Tell me."

"I love you."

"Once more. I got to hear it more."

"I love you."

"Will you get tired of me asking you to say it?"

"You won’t have to ask."

"Neither will you. I love you." Another kiss-a hard, short stamp of possession, then a question filled with boyish impatience. "When did you know?"

"I don’t know. It just came upon me."

"When we got married?"

"No."

"When we bottled the honey?"

"Maybe."

"Well, sure’s heck not when you threw that egg."

She chuckled. "But I noticed your bare chest for the first time that day and I liked it."

"My chest?"

"Aha."

"You liked my chest before you liked me?"

"When you were washing, down by the well."

"Touch it." Jubilantly he flattened her hand against it. "Touch me anyplace. God, do you know how long it’s been since a woman touched me?"

"Will…" she chided timidly.

"Are you shy? Don’t be shy. I thought I was, too, but all of a sudden it seems like we got so much time to make up for. Touch me. No, wait. Get up. First I gotta see you." He piled onto his knees and pulled her up to kneel before him, holding her hands out from her sides. "Mercy, are you a pretty sight. Let me look at you." Her chin dropped shyly and he lifted it, pressed the tousled hair back from her temples, then fluffed it with his fingertips and arranged it on her collarbones. "You mean I don’t have to sneak anymore when I want to look at you? You got the greenest eyes. Green is my favorite color, but you knew that."

She folded her hands between her knees, quite overcome by this exuberant, demonstrative Will.

"I used to think if I was ever lucky enough to have a woman of my own, she’d have to have green eyes. Now here you are. You and your green eyes… and your pink cheeks… and your pretty little mouth…" With his thumbs he touched its corners and let his hands trail down to her shoulders, to her upper arms where they stopped. "Elly," he whispered, "don’t move." He slipped his palms to the sides of her breasts and held them lightly while the blood rushed to her cheeks and she searched for a safe place to rest her gaze. The dim light shifted on the folds of her nightgown as he cupped a breast in each hand, his palms too narrow to contain their prenatal fullness. Gently, he reshaped and lifted, then released them to glide one hand down the fullest part of her belly. There it rested, fingers splayed. He watched the hand, soon joined by the other to smooth the cloth toward her hips where he held it taut, disclosing the impression of her distended navel. Bending, he kissed her. There. On the stomach she’d thought ugly enough to put him off.

"Will." She found his chin and attempted to lift it. "I’m fat as a pumpkin. How can you kiss me there?"

He straightened. "You’re not fat, you’re only pregnant. And if I’m going to deliver that baby I’d better get to know him."

"I thought I married a shy, quiet man."

"I thought so too."

He smiled for the length of three glad heartbeats, then laughed. And wondered if life would ever again be this good. And decided surely tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow it could only get better.


He was right. He’d never imagined happiness such as he knew in the days and nights that followed. To roll over in sleep and draw her back against him and drift off again in a cocoon of bliss. Or better yet, to roll the other way and feel her follow, then press close behind him. To feel her hand circle his waist, her feet beneath his, her breath on his back. To awaken and find her lying with an elbow beneath her cheek, studying him. To kiss her then in the buttery light of early morning and know that he could do so anytime. To leave her with a goodbye kiss and return anxious. To step into the kitchen and find her working at the sink, glancing shyly over her shoulder then down at her hands until he crossed the room and slipped both hands into her apron pockets and rested his chin on her shoulder. To kiss-over her shoulder-awaiting the exquisite moment when she’d turn and loop her arms up in a welcoming embrace. To eat cake from her fork, braid her hair, refill her coffee cup, watch her embroider. To lean over the sink and shiver while she washed his hair, then wilt on a kitchen chair while she dried, combed and cut it, and sometimes kissed his ear, and sometimes teased him when he dropped off and she had to awaken him with a kiss on the mouth. To walk down the driveway holding hands, pulling the boys in the wagon.

Only one thing disturbed him during those serene days. Lula Peak. It hadn’t taken her long to get the news that Will was the custodian at the library. One evening within a week of his starting she walked in the back door and found Will in the storeroom gluing a loose chair rung. "Hey, sugar, where y’ been keepin’ yourself?"

Will jumped and swung around, startled by her voice.

"Library’s closed, ma’am."

"Well now, I know that. So’s the cafe, ’cause I just shut off the light. Thought I’d sashay on over and congratulate you on your new job." She leaned against the doorframe, one arm crossing her waist, the other hand dangling near the white V of her uniform collar. "That’s the neighborly thing to do, i’nt it?"

"’Preciate it, ma’am. Now if you’ll excuse me, I got work to do."

He squatted again, turning his back, minding the chair. She moved into the windowless room and stood behind him with her knee against his back. "You thought any more about what I said, sugar?" She kneaded the side of his neck. "Man like you makes a girl lay awake nights. Figured maybe you lay awake, too, what with that wife o’ yours bein’ pregnant. No sense in both of us losin’ sleep now, is there?"

He spun to his feet, took her by the shoulders and pushed her back.


"I ain’t lookin’ for trouble, I told you once before." He stuffed his hands in his pockets, feeling soiled from touching her. "I’m a happily married man, Miss Peak. Now I’m afraid I’ll have to ask you to leave,’cause I got work to do."

She let her eyes meander over him, from forehead to hips and back up. "You’re blushin’, sugar, you know that? Must mean you’re hot… let’s see." She reached to touch his face but he grabbed her wrist and held it away, squeezing hard.

"Dammit, Lula, I said leave off!"

Her eyes took fire, radiating excitement. "Well, that’s an improvement. At least we’re on a first-name basis."

"I don’t want you comin’ here again."

"Some men don’t know what they want." Like a cobra she struck, biting his knuckles and retreating in one flashing movement.

"Ouch, goddammit!" He nursed the hand and already saw blood.

"What’s it take, Parker, huh?" she challenged from the doorway, shoulders thrown back, hands on hips, eyes glinting with demonic glee. "I know things that crazy wife of yours never dreamed of. You think about it." She turned and ran.

He felt violated. And angry. And guilty. And powerless because she was a woman and he couldn’t level her with his fists as he had the men who’d tried to seduce him in prison. That night, returning to Elly, he held his feelings inside, afraid to tell her about Lula, afraid to jeopardize their new burgeoning closeness.

At the library he had always locked the front door. After Lula’s intrusion he locked the back, too. But she cornered him one night when he took the trash out to burn in the incinerator behind the building, slipping up behind him in the dark and touching him before he was aware of her presence. He shoved her harder this time, knocking her against the incinerator, cursing, raising his fist but halting himself just in time.

"Do it," she goaded. "Do it, Parker," and he realized she was sick, driven by some twisted need that scared him.

"Keep outa my way, Lula," he growled, picked up his trash can and ran.

He tried to put the incident from his mind, but found himself looking over his shoulder every time he stepped out the library door, every time he locked it at the end of the night. He grew closer to Elly, appreciated her more, soothed himself with her goodness.