Suzannah Somers was the effervescent wife of one of Patrick’s old rugby friends – from way back, when he’d had time to play rugby. She tapped Patrick on the shoulder.

‘Hello, birthday boy! Dulcie, you don’t mind if I borrow him, do you? My hopeless other half dances like a gorilla with gout.’

‘Feel free.’ Dulcie waved an indulgent arm in the direction of the dance floor.

The DJ was playing something weird Patrick had never heard before. Looking worried he said,

‘Don’t expect miracles.’

Suzannah giggled. ‘Come on, you used to be a terrific dancer! Mind you, that was in the good old days. Before you turned forty.’

James gave Suzannah an odd look. Unable to help herself, Dulcie choked on her drink. Bibi turned white.

Patrick’s laugh was loud and unconvincing. ‘Suzannah, someone’s been spiking your shandies.’

Since the best course of action was clearly to get her out of earshot, he grabbed her hand and began hauling her on to the dance floor. ‘Forty, ha ha ha. That’ll be the day.’

At that moment the music stopped. Suzamah, by this time deeply puzzled, said loudly, ‘Patrick, are you drunk? Of course you’re forty. That’s why we’re all here.’

Patrick couldn’t bear it. He danced with Suzannah to something by Babylon Zoo, whoever they might be. If this toe-curling situation had something to do with Dulcie – as he suspected it had –

then Dulcie could sort it out.

Chapter 8

‘What’s going on?’ said James, who was even more confused than Suzannah. ‘Patrick isn’t forty.

He can’t be. He’s thirty-two.’

Bibi’s stricken expression made Dulcie feel uncomfortable. This wasn’t going as well as she had planned. Somehow, when she had envisaged this scenario, everyone had looked a lot happier.

Instead, Bibi looked as if she was about to pass out.

Panicking, desperate to get to the happy bit – and how could it be reached, until someone said something? – Dulcie gabbled, ‘Now listen, James, it was just a harmless fib that got out of hand ... and now the time’s come to sort everything out, clear the air, start afresh—’

‘Sort what out?’ demanded James.

Dulcie attempted a merry laugh but it didn’t quite come off. Unable to stand this torture a moment longer, Bibi turned and left.

‘Sort what out?’ James repeated, his voice dangerously quiet.

‘Look, women lie about their age, they do it all the time,’ burbled Dulcie. ‘You love Bibi, don’t you? All she did was lop a few years off ... What does it matter if she’s older than she said she was? It’s not as if she’s done something really awful, like have an affair!’

‘When I met Bibi she told me she was forty-six,’ said James. ‘Now you’re telling me Patrick’s forty. For pity’s sake, Dulcie. How old does that make her?’

Dulcie cringed. She did her best to soften the blow. ‘Nearly ... um ... sixty.’

‘Nearly sixty! How near?’

Oh well, that hadn’t worked. ‘Er ... that’s it, really. Sixty.’ Hurriedly she added, ‘But only just.’

James closed his eyes. He looked as if he was having a bad dream and wanted desperately to wake up.

‘Oh James, I know it’s a shock, but is it really so terrible?’ Wearily, he opened his eyes. ‘Thanks, Dulcie. I’ve heard enough.’

‘But Bibi’s still Bibi—’

‘Stop it.’

‘—and the only reason she wouldn’t marry you was because she was scared of you finding out!’

‘I’m not surprised.’

In desperation Dulcie cried, ‘We only wanted you to be happy.’

‘Really?’ James studied her for a second. ‘You’ve got a funny way of showing it.’

When he had gone, Liza and Pru joined Dulcie. Hovering not far behind her throughout the uncomfortable exchange, they had heard it all.

‘Was that it?’ said Liza. ‘Was that your other surprise?’ Miserably Dulcie nodded.

‘Oh dear.’

‘I was trying to help.’

‘Hmm. Somehow I don’t think trying to help is your forte.’ Patrick had returned Suzannah to her husband. He came up to them, looking grim.

‘Congratulations.’

‘It needed to be done,’ said Dulcie defensively.

‘And with such style.’

‘Oh shut up.’ She was feeling got at. ‘Anyway, James might be okay. Once he’s over the shock.’

‘You saw his face, Dulcie. Don’t count on it.’

So much for marital solidarity.

‘How can you be so horrible?’ Dulcie longed to kick his shins. ‘After all my hard work too. I organised this party for you. I wanted it to be memorable—’

‘Oh, it’s that all right. Nobody’s going to forget this night in a hurry. Especially not Bibi.’

Patrick’s tone was derisive. ‘You’ll be lucky if she ever speaks to you again.’

But luck wasn’t on Dulcie’s side. Bibi did speak to her again.

She reappeared as Dulcie was helping herself to a quadruple gin and tonic and grumbling, ‘Next time I say I’m planning a surprise party, just make sure you hit me over the head until I stop.’

Pru – who somewhat bizarrely was now comforting her – murmured, ‘Bibi’s back.’

For a split second Dulcie fantasised that everything was going to be all right. James had forgiven Bibi and Bibi had come back to thank her. There would be laughter and tears, emotional hugs and happy endings all round...

Extremely wishful thinking.

The fantasy skidded to a miserable halt the moment she turned and saw the stony expression on Bibi’s pale, unlined face.

The atmosphere was horribly reminiscent of the gunfight at the OK Corral.

‘Well, he’s gone. I don’t suppose I’ll see him again, thanks to you.’

Dulcie shivered. Was it her imagination or had the central heating just been turned off?

‘Bibi, I can’t tell you how—’

‘Sorry you are? Oh please.’ Bibi spat the words out like loose chippings. ‘You knew exactly what you were doing. You had to meddle, didn’t you? You had to interfere.’

‘But I—’

‘You’ve wrecked my life, Dulcie. I’ll never forgive you for this. I wish you’d never married Patrick.’

Oh no, this is too much, thought Dulcie. Glancing across atPatrick – surely now he would come to her rescue? – she saw that she was on her own. Patrick had no intention of backing her up. He was staring.grimly back at her, not on her side at all.

Fine.

‘I wish I’d never married him too.’ Dulcie’s fingernails gouged into the perspiring palms of her hands. Well, it was the truth. She may as well say it now. She’d started so she’d finish. ‘Still, we can soon sort that out. A trip to the solicitor, a quickie divorce ... and bingo, no more interfering daughter-in-law.’ To make sure Patrick understood, she turned her gaze on him and concluded bitterly, ‘No more bored-to-the-backteeth wife.’

Apart from their immediate circle the rest of the party was still going great guns. Eddie Hammond, who had been busy organising tomorrow’s squash tournament, spotted Dulcie and Patrick through a gap in the crowd and came up, munching a Marks & Spencer spring roll.

‘Everyone enjoying themselves? Having a jolly time?’ He gavé Dulcie’s shoulder an encouraging squeeze. ‘Darling, the food’s great. You must have worked your gorgeous fingers to the bone. I hope this husband of yours appreciates all the trouble you went to.’

Bibi turned and stalked out without uttering another word. Dulcie, not trusting herself to speak, took a gulp of her drink.

Linking her arm through Eddie’s, Liza drew him diplomatically away, murmuring, ‘How about a little dance?’

Dulcie went in search of a much-needed refill. Then she perched on the edge of the table upon which Patrick’s laser printer was displayed and fidgeted fretfully with a strand of the blue and silver ribbon she had used to decorate it.

The trouble with spur-of-the-moment emotional outbursts, she realised, was nobody believed you meant what you said. It hadn’t occurred to Patrick that she actually wanted a divorce. He thought she was just in a strop.

Well, thought Dulcie, he’ll find out soon enough.

She watched him make his way towards her, still wearing his I’m-the-headmaster-and-you’re-in-detention look.

‘Terry and Jean are leaving. They have to get back for the baby-sitter.’

‘Better go and wave them off then.’

‘Are you coming?’

She felt her bottom lip jut out practically of its own accord. She was fourteen again.

‘They’re your friends, not mine.’

‘Come on, Dulcie, don’t sulk. That doesn’t solve anything.’

She longed to hurl her gin and tonic in his face, but Pru had been there, done that already tonight.

It was no longer original.

Besides, her glass was empty.

She watched Patrick heave a sigh. She was clearly being extra troublesome. Detention might not be punishment enough. Maybe she was going to be expelled.

‘Look, you brought this on yourself,’ he told her wearily. Dulcie snapped. She jumped down from the table, gripping the sides with her fingers. Lifting it was easy.

The super-duper laser printer slid backwards and landed with a crash on the floor.

Turning, she regarded the shattered printer with immense satisfaction.

‘So did you.’

Liza woke up the next morning cold and with a crowded flat. Dulcie, lying next to her, had hogged the duvet. Pru, who had taken the sofa, stood in the doorway holding mugs of tea.

‘Makes a change,’ Liza remarked cheerfully, ‘waking up next to someone who doesn’t have hairy legs.’ She prodded Dulcie, who was snoring, and looked at Pr-u. ‘How are you feeling, or is that a stupid question?’

‘Headache,’ grumbled Dulcie. ‘Ouch.’

‘Not you.’

‘Okay.’ When they were both upright, Pru handed them theirtea. ‘Better, at least, now I’ve had time to think.’

Dulcie underwent a lightning replay of last night. Hell, it really had happened. The fan had been well and truly hit.