They must be prepared for it in some way. What does the expert have to say to that? “
He was looking at me anxiously. I knew he was trying to keep up our spirits. He knew how deeply Celestine and I felt about this, and he was trying to be kind.
I said : ” I believe one shouldn’t coddle. But if children are really set against something I don’t think they should be forced to do it.”
” But she was not forced to ride.”
” She did it most willingly,” I answered. ” But I cannot be sure whether she did it from a love of riding or from an intense desire to please you.”
” Well,” he said almost lightly, ” is it not an excellent thing that a child should seek to please a parent?”
” But it should not be necessary to risk a life for the sake of a smile.” ‘| My anger was rising again and my fingers gripped the cotton of my skirt as though to remind me that I was not in Alice’s riding habit now. I was the governess in my cotton gown, and it was not for me to press forward my opinions.
Both Celestine and Connan were surprised at my remark, and I went on quickly: ” For instance, Alvean’s talents may lie in another direction. I think she has artistic ability. She has done some good drawings. Mr. TreMellyn, I have been going to ask you for some time whether you would consider letting her have drawing lessons.”
There was a tense silence in the room and I wondered why they both looked so startled.
I blundered on: ” I am sure there is great talent there, and I do not feel that it should be ignored.”
Connan said slowly: ” But Miss Leigh, you are here to teach my daughter. Why should it be necessary to engage other teachers?”
” Because,” I replied boldly, ” I believe she has a special talent. I believe it would be an added interest in her life if she were to be given drawing lessons. These should be given by a specialist in the art. She is good enough for that. I’m merely a governess, Mr. TreMellyn, I am not an artist as well. “
He said rather gruffly: ” Well, we shall have to go into this at some time.”
He changed the subject, and shortly afterwards the doctor arrived.
I waited outside in the corridor while Connan and Celestine were with Alvean and the doctor.
A hundred images of disaster crowded into my mind. I imagined that she died of her injuries. I saw myself leaving the place, never to return.
If I did that I should feel that my life had been incomplete in some way. I realised that if I had to go away I should be a very unhappy woman. Then I thought of her, maimed for life, more difficult than she
had been previously, a wretched and unhappy little girl; and myself devoting my life to her. It was a gloomy picture.
Celestine joined me.
” This suspense is terrible,” she said. ” I wonder whether we ought to get another doctor. Dr. Pengelly is sixty. I am afraid …”
” He seemed efficient,” I said.
” I want the best for her. If anything happens to her …”
She was biting her lips in anguish, and I thought how strange it was that she, who always seemed so calm about everything else, should be so emotional over Alice and her daughter.
I wanted to put my arm about her and comfort her, but of course, remembering my position, I did no such thing.
Doctor Pengelly came out with Connan, and the doctor was smiling.
” Injuries,” he said, ” a fractured tibia. Beyond that … there’s very little wrong.”
” Oh, thank God!” cried Celestine, and I echoed her words.
” A day or so and she’ll be feeling better. It’ll just be a matter of mending that fracture. Children’s bones mend easily. There’s nothing for you two ladies to worry about.”
” Can we see her?” asked Celestine eagerly.
” Yes, of course you can. She’s awake now, and she asked for Miss Leigh. I’m going to give her another dose in half an hour, and that will ensure a good night’s sleep. You’ll see a. difference in her in the morning.”
We went into the room. Alvean was lying on, her back looking very ill, poor child; but she gave us a wan smile when she saw us.
” Hallo, Miss,” she said. ” Hallo, Aunt Celestine.”
Celestine knelt by the bed, took her hand and covered it with kisses.
I stood on the other side of the bed and the child’s eyes were on me.
” I didn’t do it,” she said.
” Well, it was a good try.”
Connan was standing at the foot of the bed.
I went on: ” Your father was proud of you.”
” He’ll think I was silly,” she said.
” No, he doesn’t,” I cried vehemently. ” He is here to tell you so.”
Connan came round to the side of the bed and stood beside me.
” He’s proud of you,” I said. ” He told me so. He said it didn’t matter that you fell. He said all that mattered was that you tried; and you’d do it next time. “
“Did he? Did he?”
” Yes, he did,” I cried; and there was an angry note in my voice because he still said nothing and the child was waiting for him to confirm my words.
Then he spoke. ” You did splendidly, Alvean. I was proud of you.”
A faint smile touched those pale lips. Then she murmured :
” Miss … oh Miss …” And then: ” Don’t go away, will you. Don’t you go away.”
I sank down on my knees then. I took her hand and kissed it. The tears were on my cheeks again.
I cried: ” I’ll stay, Alvean. I’ll stay with you always …”
I looked up and saw Celestine watching me from the other side of the bed. I was aware of Connan, standing beside me. Then I amended those words, and the governess in me spoke. ” I’ll stay as long as I’m wanted,” I said firmly.
Alvean was satisfied.
When she was sleeping we left her and, as I was about to go to my room, Connan said : ” Come into my library a moment with us. Miss Leigh. The doctor wants to discuss the case with you.”
So I went into his library with him, Celestine and the doctor, and we talked of the nursing of Alvean.
Celestine said; “I shall come over every day. In fact I wonder, Connan, whether I won’t come over and stay while she’s ill. It might make things easier.”
“You ladies must settle that,” answered Dr. Pengelly. ” Keep the child amused. We don’t want her getting depressed while those bones are knitting together.”
“We’ll keep her amused,” I said.
“Any special diet, Doctor?”
” For a day or so, light invalid foods. Steamed fish, milk puddings, custards and so on. But after a few days let her have what she wants.”
I was almost gay, and this swift reversal of feelings made me slightly lightheaded.
I listened to the doctor’s instructions and Connan’s assurance that there was no need for Celestine to stay at the house; he was sure Miss Leigh would manage and it would be wonderfully comforting for Miss Leigh to know that in any emergency she could always ask for Celestine’s help.
” Well Connan,” said Celestine, ” perhaps it’s as well. People talk.
And if I stayed here . Oh, people are so ridiculous. But they are always ready to gossip. “
I saw the point. If Celestine lived at Mount Mellyn, people would begin to couple her name with Connan’s; whereas the fart that I, an employee of the same age, lived in the house aroused no comment. I was not of the same social standing.
Connan laughed and said: ” How did you come over, Celeste?”
” I rode over on Speller.”
” Right. I’ll ride back with you.”
” Oh, thank you, Connan. It’s nice of you. But I can go alone if you’d rather …”
“Nonsense! I’m coming.” He turned to me.
“As for you, Miss Leigh, you look exhausted. I should advise you to go to bed and have a good night’s sleep.”
I was sure I could not rest, and my expression must have implied this for the doctor said: ” I’ll give you a draught, Miss Leigh. Take it five minutes before retiring for the night. I think I can promise you a good night’s sleep.”
” Thank you,” I said appreciatively, for I suddenly realised how exhausted I was.
I believed that tomorrow I should wake up my usual calm self, able to cope with whatever new situation should be the result of all that had happened today.
I went to my room, where I found a supper tray waiting for me. It contained a wing of cold chicken, appetising enough on most occasions, but tonight I had no appetite.
I toyed with it for a while and ate a few mouthfuls, but I was too upset to eat.
I thought it would be an excellent idea to take Dr. Pengelly’s sleeping draught and retire for the night.
I was about to do so when there was a knock on my door.
” Come in,” I called; and Mrs. Polgrey came. She looked distraught. No wonder, I thought. Who in this household isn’t? ;” It’s terrible,” she began.
But I cut in quickly: ” She’ll be all right, Mrs. Polgrey. The doctor said so.”
” Oh yes, I heard the news. It’s Gilly, Miss. I’m worried about her.”
“Gilly!”
” She didn’t come back from the show. Miss. I haven’t seen her since this afternoon.”
” Oh, she’s wandering about somewhere, I expect. I wonder if she saw.”
” I can’t understand it, Miss. I can’t understand her being at the show. She’s afeared of going near the horses. You could have knocked me down with a feather when I heard she was there. And now … she’s not come in.”
” But she does wander off alone, doesn’t she?”
” Yes, but she’ll always be in for her tea. I don’t know what can have become of her.”
” Has the house been searched?”
” Yes, Miss. I’ve looked everywhere. Kitty and Daisy have helped me. So’s Polgrey. The child’s not in the house. “
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