Shannon Stacey - Mistletoe & Margaritas

“What’s got you so pissed off?”

“What makes you think I’m pissed?”

“Oh, how about the fact you’re strangling the steering wheel? Or that your eyebrows are practically touching over your nose? Or the fact you just burned off half your tires in my landlord’s driveway pulling out?”

He made a conscious effort to relax his grip on the wheel, but faking even a half-assed smile was out of the question. “It’s nothing. Rough day.”

“It’s eight o’clock.”

“Fine. Rough morning.”

“You sounded fine on the phone earlier.”

She wasn’t going to let it go until he gave her something. “Hot water heater’s crapping out on me. Cold showers aren’t a happy way to start the day.”

It was only half a lie, since he’d taken more than his fair share of cold showers. The falsehood, of course, was that it was the hot water heater’s fault.

By the time they’d hit their favorite diner for breakfast and had his tires changed, he was finding his footing again. Except for when that band of pale skin caught his eye, which was a problem since she used her hands a lot when she talked.

They were in the toy store, looking at shelves of preschool board games, when Claire crossed her arms and sighed. “Just say it, Justin.”

“Okay. Nicole’s three. Why can’t I just buy her a doll? No pieces to lose.”

“Fine. Buy her a doll, even though she asked for games. And that’s not what I’m talking about. I lost count of the times I’ve caught you staring at my hand about two hours ago. Just say it.”

“You took your wedding ring off.”

She looked at him like she was expecting more, but he didn’t know what else to say. It was a big deal for her and, even though she didn’t love him the way she’d loved Brendan, he knew he was important to her. What he said mattered.

“It doesn’t mean I’m going to forget him,” she said in a quiet voice.

“I know that.”

“And nobody’s ever going to take his place in my heart.”

Oh, he knew that, too. “I’m not upset you took it off, Claire. It’s just different, so it catches my eye. Makes me think about him, you know?”

Tears welled up in her eyes, but she was doing her best to blink them back as she nodded. “I know. Me, too.”

“One of the things he loved most about you is the way you’re always happy about things. He’d want you to, you know… Move on. Be happy…and stuff.” Justin wanted it for her, too. Just not with some other guy. Especially the and stuff part.

She laughed and swiped at a stray tear with the heel of her ringless hand. “You’re not the best with words, but you’re a really good friend, you know.”

Great. That’s what he was shooting for. Really good friend. He held his arms open. “You better? Need me to hug you so you can wipe your face on my shirt?”

“No, I’m good,” she said, and he hid the disappointment. “Let’s get something for Nicole and get out of here or we’ll be late.”

Justin found a stuffed cat that looked exactly like Moxie and, even though it wasn’t a board game, he decided Nicole would like that. Then, according to Claire, he had to pick out a card. And a gift bag. And bows.

By the time they pulled into the Smiths’ driveway, Justin was beat. All he wanted was a steak, a beer and a game on the flat screen. What he got was a houseful of people, a wound-up little birthday girl with a horde of wound-up friends, and Debbie Smith-who noticed immediately her daughter had taken off her wedding ring.

He was hiding in the kitchen, pretending to look for more paper cups, when Mrs. Smith walked in. “Oh, Justin. I was wondering where you’d gone to.”

“Looking for paper cups.”

“Hiding.” She laughed when he blushed. “We’ll hide together. When Kelly asked me if they could have Nic’s party here because I have more room, I should have asked how many of Nic’s playdate friends she was going to invite. And at two o’clock on a Friday afternoon!”

“You should make Mr. Smith take you for a nice dinner after everybody leaves. Have a drink. Or two.”

“Trust me, I’ll be telling the waiter to leave the bottle.” She pulled out a stool at the kitchen bar and perched herself on it. “How’s Claire doing?”

Since he knew she’d noticed the lack of gold on her daughter’s finger, he didn’t bother hedging. “I think she’s a little wobbly today, but she’s good. It was just time, I guess.”

The smile she gave him was warm and sincere. “I don’t know how she would have gotten through this without you, Justin. If only everybody could be blessed with a friend like you.”

He gave her a return smile he hoped showed nothing of the guilt eating away at his gut and thanked his lucky stars when one of the moms flew into the kitchen looking for a roll of paper towels.

Her now three-year-old niece was one of the people Claire loved most in the world, but she wanted out. Badly.

Watching her sister, Kelly, and her brother-in-law fussing over their daughter and her little friends did nothing but remind her she and Brendan were going to start trying for a baby as soon as they signed on their new house. She kept trying to fidget with her wedding ring, only to find bare skin. And Justin was nowhere in sight. Not the most fun she’d ever had at a party.

“Ohmigod, you took your ring off!”

Claire curled her left hand inside her right and cursed herself for picking this day of all days to take that particular step. “Gee, Kelly, I’m not sure they heard you next door.”

“Sorry.” Her sister plopped down on the couch next to her. “So does this mean you’re thinking about dating again?”

“No.” As she said it, Justin emerged from kitchen and she watched him as he scanned the room until his gaze found hers. Then he smiled and she rolled her eyes at him.

“What does he think about it?” Kelly asked.

“He just wants me to be happy…and stuff.” Claire smiled, remembering his awkwardness in the toy store.

“I bet he does.”

She turned to look at her sister. “What do you mean?”

“Nothing.” And there was the fake innocent face Kelly did so well. “Hey, J.J., watch out for that-crap.”

A herd of adults converged on the shattered vase, shooing kids away from the broken glass, and Claire laughed when Justin slid into the seat Kelly had vacated in a hurry.

“Not that I’m not having a great time but how much longer?”

“Maybe ten minutes. After they clean up this mess, but before some kid makes the next one.”

It was closer to forty minutes before they were able to sneak goodbyes in and make their escape. They both buckled their seatbelts with a sigh of relief and then Justin pulled out of the driveway and took a right.

Claire closed her eyes and tried to tell herself it was no big deal. Turning right led to the back roads that led to Dunkin’ Donuts, where Justin would grab a coffee. Then that back road led into a bigger back road which led back to home. A road that went right by the house she couldn’t bear to look at.

She’d been so excited about signing the papers for their dream home she’d called Brendan three times in the span of a half hour the day of the closing. To ask if he was on his way. To tell him to hurry up. He’d laughed at her and told her she was worse than a little kid on Christmas morning. Then he’d told her he loved her and he wouldn’t be late.

The State Police said speed was definitely a factor in the accident that turned Brendan’s Camry-and Claire’s life-upside down. The roads were slippery and he’d been driving too fast for the conditions. Because he’d loved her and he’d promised he wouldn’t be late.

She’d walked away from the house. Walked away from everything and everybody as she sank into a black pit of despair and guilt she couldn’t kick her way free of.

It was Justin who’d taken her hand and wouldn’t let her drown. Justin who’d refused to accept that it was her fault Brendan was dead and who’d washed her face with a cold washcloth when she cried so hard she threw up. He’d told her over and over it was an accident until she finally started believing it herself. And he didn’t leave her side until she agreed to drag herself out of her apartment and go out with him for some cheeseburger therapy.

They’d come out of those dark days better friends than they’d ever been and not a day went by she wasn’t thankful she had Justin in her life. And she was thankful enough today she decided not to stand in his way if he wanted a coffee.

She felt the truck pulling off the road and opened her eyes just as he jerked the wheel around and did a U-turn in the road. “What are you doing?”

“With all those kids, I didn’t get a chance to take a leak before we left and I’ll never make it to Dunkin’ Donuts. I’ll stop at the gas station up the street and I can grab a coffee there, too, before we jump on the highway.”

He’d remembered and now he was lying. She thought she should call him on it-tell him it was okay and it was just a house. But she’d had just about enough for today, so she let him get away with it.

When the day came she did go looking for another man, she hoped she could find one as good as Justin. Only without the whole best friend thing.

Having the garage door open let in the morning chill, but it let out the four-stroke exhaust as Justin revved the engine of his snowmobile, warming it up so he could transfer it to the trailer for the riding season. When he could sneak a free day, all he had to do was hook the trailer up to the truck and drive to a trailhead.

Once he’d loaded his machine up, he pulled back the cover on the sled in the back corner of his garage. It wouldn’t go on the trailer and the registration sticker was long expired, but Justin set the choke and fired it up anyway.

It was Brendan’s sled and he couldn’t bring himself to sell it, but he couldn’t let it sit and gather dust, either. So he kept it covered, did the maintenance it really didn’t need and ran the engine every so often. Now, listening to his best friend’s pride and joy, he wondered if it was time to let it go. If Claire could take off her wedding ring, he could pass the sled on to a new owner.