‘Oh yes,’ said Giles. ‘But then so few of them will come!’

I could not help a malicious chuckle. ‘I’m surprised you have accepted if people are priding themselves on staying away,’ I said.

‘I have to go,’ he said. ‘Her mama and mine were bosom bows, I shall be there, at my post, from first to last.’

I nodded. ‘We are going there early, and then on to Lady Meeching’s card party,’ I said.

Giles raised his eyebrows. ‘Practically out of town,’ he said.

I let it pass. ‘Then we are going to Lady Maria’s supper party,’ I said.

Giles raised his eyebrows even higher. ‘The fair Maria,’ he said. ‘Your sister-in-law to be. I should have thought that Lady Meeching’s was not far enough. If I was going to marry poor Perry and dine with the fair Maria I should flee to Brighton at the very least.’

I gave him a level glance. ‘Who do you like in London society, Mr Devenish?’

He smiled to conceal his irritation. ‘I’m quite fond of George Wallace,’ he said judiciously. ‘And my papa commands my filial respect. But apart from them…’ he paused. ‘But what about you, Miss Lacey? I take it that I am reproved for failing to love my fellow man. So do tell me, whom have you met in London that you especially like?’ His gaze drifted past me to Jane who was leaning forward, twirling her parasol, laughing with her mouth wide open at one of Sir Robert’s frigid quips. He looked beyond her, across the park, where one fashionable Quality person after another walked, rode or drove in diminishing circles, trying to waste the time until it was afternoon, then wasting some more time until dinner.

I shrugged my shoulders and shook my head. Suddenly I lost all desire to be a proper young lady. The little Rom chavvy called Meridon spoke through my lips though I was seated in a landau talking to a beau at the pinnacle of fashion. ‘I’ve met no one,’ I said. ‘I don’t reprove you or anyone else. I’ve seen no one to admire and I’ve made no friends. I am lonelier now than when I was a little gypsy chavvy. I’ve slept better on the floor, and ate better off wooden platters. I’ve no time for this life at all, to tell you the truth. And you-’ I paused and looked at him speculatively. ‘I’ve met better-mannered polecats,’ I said.

His eyes went purple with rage, the smile wiped away. ‘You are an original indeed,’ he said. It was the worst thing he could think of saying to a young woman, not yet presented at court. He stepped back from the side of the carriage as if he were pulling the skirts of his coat away from contamination. Sir Robert saw his movement away and was swift to say farewell to Jane and tip his hat to me. Jane tried to detain him, but he was too polite and skilled.

‘How could you let him go!’ she said crossly to me as the carriage moved on again. ‘You must have seen that I was talking to Sir Robert. I am certain he was about to ask me for a dance at Lady Clark’s ball, and now I have no supper partner at all!’

I was suddenly weary of the whole thing. ‘I am sorry,’ I said. My throat was as tight as if I were choking on the London air. ‘I’m sorry,’ I said. ‘That poisonous Devenish was being spiteful and I wanted to be rid of him.’

Jane gasped. ‘You never upset him!’ she said, appalled. ‘If you said something he didn’t like it’ll be all over London by tomorrow! Oh, Sarah! How could you!’

I sighed. ‘I didn’t say anything that wasn’t the truth,’ I said miserably. ‘And anyway, I don’t care.’ I hesitated. ‘Jane, would you mind very much dropping me off when we get around to Grosvenor Gate again? I have a sore throat.’

‘Oh no!’ she said. For a moment I thought her anxiety was on my account. ‘Sarah, can’t you stay with me for just one more circuit? We might meet someone, and I really don’t want to go home yet.’

I nodded. Jane wanted to arrange a partner for tonight’s ball and she was not allowed to drive around the park alone. I tightened the collar of my jacket around my throat and sat back in the carriage. The autumn sunshine was warm enough, I had gloves; only months ago I should have thought myself in paradise to have owned such a warm jacket.

‘All right,’ I said. ‘But only one circuit, mind.’

She nodded. ‘And if there is anyone you know, then you introduce me,’ she said.

‘All right,’ I said disagreeably, and I settled back in the carriage seat to scan the people walking past to see if there was anyone I knew who would be likely to take Jane in to supper at the ball that night. For if I knew Jane, we would be circling the park until nightfall if she could not find a partner.


I was nearly right. We did three circuits before I saw Captain Sullivan with Captain Riley and introduced them both to Jane. They were both penniless fortune-hunters but they knew how to dance and how to take a girl in and out of a supper room. Jane was flushed with triumph at having her dance card finally filled, and I was aching all over as if I had the ague.

‘Thank you, my dearest dear!’ she said, heartfelt, as she dropped me at the front door. ‘You saved my life! You really did, you know! Which do you think is more attractive, Captain Sullivan or Captain Riley?’

‘Sullivan,’ I said at random, and turned to go up the steps.

Jane was rapt. ‘Shall I wear my yellow or my pink?’ she called to me as the door opened.

‘The yellow,’ I said. ‘See you tonight!’

The Havering butler closed the door as I heard her call, ‘And how should I wear my hair…’

I went wearily to the foot of the stairs, planning to go to my room. But the butler was ahead of me.

‘Mr Fortescue is with Lady Havering and Lady Maria,’ he said. ‘Lady Havering asked for you to be shown to the parlour when you returned from your drive.’

I nodded. I paused only before a mirror on the stairs to take off my bonnet and gloves and as the butler opened the door for me I pushed them into his hands.

‘James!’ I said. He was the first friendly face I had seen in a parlour in all the long stay in London.

He jumped to his feet as I came in the room and beamed at me. I glanced from him to Lady Maria and Lady Havering. I imagined he had been thoroughly uncomfortable with the two of them and I wished I had been home earlier.

‘How good to see you!’ I said, and then I curtseyed to Lady Havering and did an awkward sort of bob at Maria before I sat down. The parlourmaid came in and poured me a dish of tea.

James said how well I looked, and Lady Havering said something about town polish. I saw Maria look very much as if she would have liked to say something cat-witted.

‘And have you made many friends? Is London as fine as you expected?’ James asked, making heavy weather of it all.

‘Yes,’ I said, not very helpfully.

‘Such sweet friends as you have,’ Maria chimed in. ‘You were driving with Lady Jane Whitley, were you not?’

I nodded in silence. James looked glad that Maria had volunteered something.

‘Is she one of your especial friends?’ he asked. ‘I am glad you have found someone you agree with.’

‘Oh she’s quite the toast of the Season!’ Maria enthused, her eyes sharp with malice watching me. ‘She and Miss Lacey together are quite the beauties of the Season this year. Miss Lacey has been claimed by our Peregrine of course, but I’m certain Lady Jane will be snapped up in a moment.’

I thought of Jane and me driving round and round the park trying to find her a partner and I smiled grimly at Maria.

‘Thank you,’ I said. ‘We cannot all hope to have your good fortune in finding a husband who is so peculiarly appropriate.’

Since Maria’s Basil was fat and fifty-five I thought that would do. Lady Clara thought so too, for she interrupted before Maria could reply.

‘Mr Fortescue has some business to discuss with you, Sarah,’ she said. ‘Perhaps you would like to talk with him in the dining room?’

James rose to his feet with uncivil haste.

‘Thank you,’ he said, and I led him downstairs to the ornate room with the heavy round table and the high-backed chairs.

He pulled one out and sat down, clasping his hands before him. ‘Are you happy, Sarah?’ he asked. ‘Is it the life you wanted?’

The tightness in my throat had not eased despite coming in from the cold. ‘It’s well enough,’ I said. ‘It’s a style I’d have had to learn.’

He waited for a moment in case I should say something more. ‘I’d not discourage you from anything you set your heart on,’ he said hesitantly. ‘But I’d not be doing my duty by you, nor showing the love I still bear your mother, if I let you go on into this without speaking once more with you.’

I put the back of my hand against my forehead. It was hot though I felt cold inside. ‘Go on then,’ I said unhelpfully.

He pushed back his chair and looked at me as if he did not know how to start. ‘I keep thinking what I should say and then it all comes out wrong!’ he said with sudden irritation. ‘I have been planning and planning how I would speak with you and then you look at me as if it does not matter at all how you live or whether you are happy or sad. I won’t tell you things. I will ask you instead. Sarah…how would you like to live?’

I paused for a moment and thought of her, sprawled under the fine silk of her flyer’s cape, her dark eyelashes sweeping her pink cheeks. I thought of the smell of her – part cheap toilet-water, part sweat. I thought of her smile as she slept and her certainty that the world would keep her well, and how for all the years of our childhood she had poached and thieved and stolen and never been caught. Not once. And how the very same night that I had come to the life which she would have loved was the night she was gone.

‘I want nothing,’ I said. My voice was husky because of my throat.