When I move to unhook my bra, he whispers, “Let me.”

His soft but callused hands first cup my breasts, then slide around my back and with the precision he always had, he quickly unfastens my bra. I gasp when his cold, wet mouth finds its way to my breast at the same time his hands slide the straps down my arms. With his mouth still sucking one of my nipples, his hand caresses the other one. He takes a step back and I swear I blush from the look he’s giving me. I extend my hands to unbutton his jeans, but before I can tug his zipper down, he pulls out the desk chair next him.

“Sit down,” he says, chewing his bottom lip.

He’s watching me, his jaw relaxed, relieved of all the tension he’s possessed since I first saw him at the pool. I slouch back and spread my legs like I know he wants. I want it too. When he drops to his knees, the anticipation of what’s to come has me squirming with an uncontrollable need to touch him. He draws a line with his tongue up my inner thigh and when he reaches my sex he circles it just one time before moving right to my clit.

“Oh, Xander,” I call out, and his eyes flare to mine.

Watching me, he kisses, licks, and sucks me in a way no one but him ever has. The feel of his stubbled face against my sensitive skin is like heaven. I completely lose control when he inserts first one, then two fingers inside me. My head falls back and I arch my body as I come hard and fast, shattering into what I can only think are pieces of the last twelve years of missed time.

Lifting my head to look at him, I can see he’s got a huge grin on his face. He wipes his mouth on his arm and toes his boots off before pulling his pants down. I watch with a ravenous hunger as his thick cock springs free. The tip glistens, and all I can think about is tasting it. I don’t wait for him to kick out of his jeans before I lean over and lick the precum off of him.

“Fuck,” he says, pulling me up out of the chair. He claims my mouth with his and a groan escapes his throat when I take his throbbing cock in my hand. Pulling away, he removes a condom from his wallet and rolls it on.

Once it’s in place, he growls, “I want to be inside you, right now.”

He pushes me back onto the desk and in an instant he thrusts into me, filling me in one swift motion. His hips jerk and mine follow. He brushes his lips along my collarbone, up my neck, and to my ear, where he whispers, “You feel so good.”

My fingers dig into his skin as a feeling of complete satisfaction takes over. The passion between us is so fierce that my muscles are convulsing around his cock way too quickly. I don’t want this to end. I try to slow my impending orgasm, but when he rolls my nipples with his fingers, I can’t hold back any longer. Instead, I just close my eyes and get ready to experience the joy I haven’t felt in so many years.

“Ivy,” he yells out, pounding into me at an unrelenting pace. “Look at me.”

Opening my eyes, I delight in watching him, but I can’t hold it off another minute. Lifting my hips, I grasp hold of his arms and move with him. Leaving no space between us—we come together, shouting each other’s names in unison. When he stops moving, he buries his face in my chest, practically panting. He licks his way up and I can feel his warm breath near my neck and hear his heart pounding against mine. Stepping back slightly, he slips out of me and I feel a sudden, overwhelming loss.

I pull him to me. “Don’t leave.”

He drags his teeth along my jawbone, sending a shiver down my spine. “I’ll be right back,” he says as he pulls me off the desk, and then he goes into the bathroom.

I stand there watching him—the boy who made love to me over and over is now a man that I don’t think I can ever get enough of. The feeling of having him inside me is something I’ve never forgotten, and I never thought I’d feel it again. It’s a feeling I now know I can’t live without. When he comes out of the bathroom, he rakes his eyes down my body in a way that makes my heart skip a beat. I stare at his tattoo as he walks back into the room and grabs the door handle, pulling the slide bar back and letting the door close on its own.

I start laughing uncontrollably, and he looks at me, then does the same.

“It might not have been so hysterical if Garrett had walked in on us,” he says, crossing the room with a confidence that makes my stomach flutter.

I bite my lip and stare into the depths of his eyes as he stands in front of me. Wrapping his arms around me, he inhales a deep breath. He runs his hands down my body and I relish his touch. When he presses his cheek to mine, his soft stubble makes me shiver. His body moves flush with mine, and I brush my fingers down the length of his side, blindly tracing the letters.

“I must be dreaming,” I tell him, leaning back and looking into his intense greenish-brown eyes. My voice is hoarse, but not the least bit weak.

He places his fingers under my chin and lifts it, tilting my face just enough to press his lips to mine. “No, baby, it’s not a dream. This is real.” He plants sweet kisses around my mouth, and his words undo me.

He walks me backward until the backs of my knees are touching the bed. “This time I want to take it slow. I want to make love to you, and I think the bed is a better choice than the desk.”

I open my mouth to agree, but he pushes me back and I fall with a laugh onto the soft mattress, looking up at him. The pulse beating in his throat makes me smile. We stare at each other for the longest time—me lying on the bed, with my feet on the floor, and him standing over me, with the corners of his mouth turned up in the sexiest grin. Then suddenly the mood seems so serious and my laughter stops.

“I missed that smile,” he tells me.

I don’t say anything because I know if I do I’ll just cry again. He could always make me smile—not the fake one I have to put on for the sake of my career—and the mention of everything we once had together swells my heart. He licks his lips and I back up slightly on the bed, inviting him to join me. The mattress dips as he crawls onto it and settles beside me. I trace my finger around his moist, full lips, he smiles, and I whisper, “I’ve missed yours too.”

Tucking his head into my neck, he kisses his way down my body, then rolls us around. We touch, stroke, and lick every inch of each other for what doesn’t seem nearly long enough. Both breathing heavily, we’re tangled in the sheets and he’s hovering over me—his eyes roaming every uncovered inch of my body. The lights are still on and I’m glad, because I want to watch him, see him, make up for all the days that have passed that I never got to see his beautiful face.

He hovers over me and hesitates for a moment. He presses his forehead to mine, and I ask, “What’s wrong?”

“I want to feel you. Really feel you—like I used to.”

I stare at him, knowing what he wants but not sure he wants to hear what I have to say. “Xander, I’m on the pill, but I haven’t been tested since—”

Lifting himself up, he cuts me off. “I’m clean, Ivy.”

“Make love to me,” I answer, giving him the go-ahead not to wear a condom.

With a soft groan, he centers himself and heat floods me. His face smolders when he looks down at me, and I can feel my need for him all the way down to my toes. His teeth clench and he bites his lower lip as he slowly pushes into me. His cock—long, thick, and hard—fills me. Skin to skin—the feeling is magical, and both of our bodies tremble with the intimate contact. My arms circle his back and my fingers press hard into his muscles as we move together in the same rhythm.

I pull his mouth to mine and softly kiss him. Returning my kiss with the same tenderness, he pulls out of me and I search him for an answer as to why. My question is answered when he rolls onto his back, bringing me with him. Straddling him, I guide his cock back inside me and he lets out a guttural groan. My legs squeeze his body as I sit up and press my hands to his chest for support. His hands find my breasts, and he rolls and fondles the nipples into hard peaks. With his hands on me and his cock inside me, I just close my eyes as bliss washes through my veins.

When his fingers stop massaging my chest, I open my eyes and look into his face to see that it’s full of desire. I gasp when his hand slides between my legs and his thumb rubs circles around my clit. “Do you like this?” he asks.

Moaning, I arch my body and throw my head back. “Yes,” I scream, moving my hands behind me and clutching his knees. I want to wait for him, but the higher I lift myself off his cock and the harder I slam down on him, the more intense the feeling. When he rubs my clit harder and harder, moving his thumb in smaller and faster circles, my body starts to tremble and I can’t hold back any longer. “Oh God. Yes!” I scream, and everything in the world seems to stop except for this feeling of pure heaven.

“Fuck, Ivy, yes!” he yells.

I open my eyes as my orgasm rolls through me. Watching him, I know he’s coming too. His eyes close and with one final thrust I can feel him filling me. When he opens his eyes and looks at me with that look I could never resist—I melt.

“I love you.” The words just tumble out without any advance thought. I regret saying them immediately. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” I shift my eyes away from him, knowing the words were automatic and true, but it’s too soon to actually say them. I roll away and throw my legs off the bed, but before my feet hit the floor his hands clutch my waist and his hard chest nestles against my back.

“Where are you going?”

Without turning toward him, I answer, “To the bathroom.”