Jennifer Crusie - Manhunting

“Why don’t we wait until you’ve calmed down…” Jake began reasonably, and Kate did scream.

“What the hell?” Jake surged to his feet and reached for her, and she stepped back, glaring at him with red-eyed intensity.

“Don’t you ever patronize me,” she snapped. “Don’t you ever imply that we’re arguing because I’m out of control.”

“Well, hell, you’re acting like a banshee,” Jake said. “What am I supposed to do?”

“You’re supposed to answer me,” Kate yelled.

“You’re supposed to tell me how you feel, get mad at me, do anything but sit there looking like some good ol‘ boy Buddha with all the answers.”

“Buddha?” Jake said. “I know you think I’m godlike, but Buddha?”

“It won’t work.” Kate took another step back. “I’m not going to play any more word games with you. That’s part of our problem. We were so good at being cute together, we never bothered to be real.” Kate shook her head. “I love playing around with you, Jake, but I want real life, too.”

“Kate, does everything have to be a damned soap opera? Can’t we just be us together?” Jake gestured helplessly.

“No,” Kate said. “We don’t even know what ‘us’ is. You don’t even know who you are. Or what you want to be when you grow up.” She glared at him as her anger started to well up again. “And it’s time to decide, Jake, because you’re up.”

“You know-” Jake said, glaring back at her, so mad he had to start his sentence over again. “You know who you’re starting to remind me of?”

“Let me guess,” Kate snapped back. “Tiffany. Valerie. Every woman you’ve ever known who didn’t roll over and say, ‘Gee, Jake, it’s wonderful that you’re wasting an incredible mind and a great education by staring into the lake.’ Every woman who ever looked at you and made it obvious that she thought you were turning into a vegetable. You know why you hate all of us so much, Jake?”

“Because you’re pushy, scheming, manipulative, power-mad bitches?”

“No,” Kate said evenly. “Because you know we’re right” She turned on her heel and strode back to the cabin.

“The hell I do,” Jake yelled after her when he’d recovered from his surprise, but she was already gone.

Jake took most of his anger out on some brush he’d been putting off clearing from the south end of the resort. The digging and hacking wore out his body, but his mind went plodding on, reliving the morning in glorious Technicolor. Kate was wrong, he knew. Absolutely wrong. But he hated righting with her; hated not knowing if, when he saw her again, she’d smile at him like always, just because he was there. Finally he gave up and walked to her cabin, but when he got there, he saw Kate closing the trunk of her car. She was dressed in the same silk suit he’d first seen her in, her hair neatly rolled in a chignon.

“Kate?”

She started, and then turned around and smiled at him, a little too brightly. “I’m going to go ahead and take off now.” She shrugged a little. “There’s really no reason to stay, and I can beat the Sunday traffic.”

Jake felt his chest tighten and took a step forward. “Kate, listen, I…”

“No.” Kate bit her lip and then said, “I was… I didn’t really have any… It wasn’t my place… Those things I said this afternoon…” She frowned, trying to find the right words. “I’m sorry. You have a right to do what you want with your life, and you were obviously perfectly happy before I showed up and will be again as soon as I’m gone, so…” She smiled and shrugged. “I’m going.”

“Oh,” Jake said. “So, this is what you want?”

“No,” Kate said. “But this is what I’ve got.” She took a deep breath. “Maybe you’re right. It’s too soon and too fast and maybe this is just physical and…” She stopped and swallowed again. “And it really hurts too much to stay here anymore,” she finished. “It’s going to be easier on both of us if I just go.”

Jake stood there helplessly, trying to think of the right thing to say, but there wasn’t any right thing. And finally, Kate kissed him on the cheek. Then she got into the car and drove away while he stood in the road and watched.

It’s better this way, he thought, and wasn’t convinced. “It’s better this way,” he said aloud, firmly, and turned back toward his own cabin.

He still wasn’t convinced.

A month later, Jake sat in an Adirondack chair on the back veranda of the resort with his feet propped on the rail, watching the sun rise over the lake, and tried to feel content. It wasn’t happening. The old nagging feeling that he used to get had grown into a full-fledged monkey on his back, and it had been making him miserable and irritable since Kate had driven away. People had taken to avoiding him whenever necessary, and even Ben had lost patience with him finally.

“Look, if you’re that unhappy, do something about it,” he’d said the night before, slapping his cue down on the table. “Just stop taking it out on the rest of us.”

Jake had slapped his own cue down and stormed out of the bar, feeling equally angry and stupid.

The feeling had stayed with him all night and into the morning and was plaguing him still. Come on, Jake, he told himself. You live in God’s country, you are gloriously free, you have no responsibilities and no real worries. You’ve got it made.

Somehow it wasn’t enough. “I’ve got it made,” he said aloud, trying to convince himself. Will, who was backing out the door to join him, carrying two steaming coffee mugs, snorted with contempt.

“You’re disgusting,” Will said, looking down at him.

“What did I do now?” Jake asked.

“Well, you’ve alienated everybody in town, for starters,” Will said. “I can’t believe you were mean to Mrs. Dickerson.”

“I wasn’t mean to Mrs. Dickerson,” Jake said, taking one of the cups. “I just said that cowboy hats looked stupid on women.”

“She was wearing a cowboy hat.”

“She was?” Jake frowned. “Damn. I didn’t notice.”

“It was bright red.” Will hesitated and then plunged on. “This is about Kate, right?”

Jake glared at him.

“Well, it’s obvious when she drives away, and you start acting like Godzilla immediately afterward.” Will glared back at him. “Call her.”

“It’s not Kate,” Jake said and got up to move to the rail and stare out at the lake.

“Yeah, right,” Will said.

“No,” Jake said. “I miss her like crazy, but it’s not Kate. I mean, she’s part of it, but it’s more.” He shook his head. “Something was wrong before she got here. She just made it worse.”

“So, what is it?” Will sat down to listen.

Jake went over all the possibilities before he forced himself to face the awful truth. “I’m bored,” he admitted.

“Hallelujah,” Will said. “The dead walk.”

Jake turned and sat on the rail to face his brother. “I’m not leaving Toby’s Corners. I like it here. I belong here.”

“So I was wrong,” Will said. “The dead are only staggering, but it’s a start. We’ll take it.”

Jake sipped his coffee and thought for a moment.

“Have we got any money?” he asked, oblivious to Will’s sarcasm.

“Sure. We’re rich.”

“No.” Jake looked at him patiently. “Money. The real stuff. Not the hotel, not the land. Money.”

Will considered. “I’ve got a fund stashed away for emergencies. It’s not much. Maybe fifteen thousand.”

“I want it,” Jake said.

Will started to make a smart comment and stopped. “All right,” he said. “Will I ever see this money again?”

“Well, I don’t know,” Jake said, grinning down at him. “You should have thought of that before you started calling me a potted plant and introducing me to pushy blondes.”

“Speaking of pushy blondes,” Will began, and Jake shook his head.

“I don’t want to talk about her,” he said.

“I’m sure you don’t,” Will said. “Question is, what are you going to do about her?”

“I don’t know,” Jake said, looking back out over the lake. “I’m considering my options.”

“That ought to keep you occupied for the next twenty years,” Will said with disgust. “You’re real good at considering your options.”

Jake scowled down at him. “You’re starting to sound like Kate.”

“Well, she’s an intelligent woman,” Will said. “We’ve got a lot in common.” He cocked a skeptical eye at his brother. “I don’t care about the money or whatever it is you’re going to do with it. But if you think playing around with it is going to make you a happy man, think again. This is about Kate and you know it.”

“I keep thinking,” Jake said, “that if I could just get her back down here, we could work everything out.” He frowned as he thought. “She was happy here, she just didn’t have anything to do. But she was happy here.” He looked back at Will. “Wasn’t she?”

“Yes. She was. Get her back,” Will said.

“How?” Jake asked him.

“Well, you could try calling her and asking her to come back,” Will said.

“No,” Jake said. “There’s nothing down here for her. I can’t ask her to come down here just for me.”

“You’re pathetic,” Will said.

“Not pathetic enough to expect her to give up her life just because I want her back,” Jake said. “There’s got to be another reason for her to come back. There’s got to be another way to get her back.”

Will looked at him with disgust. “Have her kidnapped. Tell her you’re pregnant and she’s the mother. Leave a trail of bread crumbs.”

Jake scowled at him. “I don’t think Kate likes bread crumbs. I need help here. You are not helping.”

“Well, then, leave a trail of something she likes,” Will said, getting up to leave. “Just do something instead of moping around looking like a kicked dog and snarling at everybody.” He left, banging the screen door behind him.