“I’ve never had anything like this, Jake,” she whispered. “Not like this that I have with you.”

He kissed her slowly. “You’re a miracle.” His lips moved over her, tasting her. “You’re going to kill me, but you’re a miracle just the same.”

She laughed weakly, exhausted to the marrow of her bones.

“You’re such a wimp,” she said from beneath him, her voice muffled in his shoulder. He felt so good on top of her that she didn’t want to ever move.

“Tell my mother I thought of her at the end,” Jake said into her hair.

“You thought of your mother just now?”

“I meant at the end of my life. Don’t tell her we were doing this.”

“You’re not dying, you big baby.” She rolled her head back and realized that they weren’t under the willow anymore. Jake hadn’t tied the boat up, and they’d drifted to the middle of the lake.

“This is pretty,” she said. “Look at the moon.”

Gradually she realized there was something wrong.

“Jake, have you noticed the wet spot is bigger than usual?”

“Hmm.”

“Jake, I’m all wet.”

“I don’t care,” he said into her neck. “I’m not making love to you again tonight. I have to be able to walk around tomorrow.”

“Not that kind of wet.” She pushed him off her and sat up. “The boat is leaking.”

“What?” He put his hand between the cushions where her hip had been. The boat was filling with water. “I knew I heard something crack a while back. I thought it was my spine. Thank God, it’s just the boat.”

“Just the boat?” Kate grabbed her tank top and pulled it on over her head.

“I was wrong.” He lay back against the cushions, exhausted and happy. “You’re not going to kill me with sex. You’re going to drown me.”

“Jake, the boat is going down.”

“So did you.” He smiled at her in the moonlight. “Have I mentioned that was great?”

She grabbed the front of his shirt and shook him. “Jake!”

He sat up slowly. “What do you want me to do? Sing ‘Nearer, My God, to Thee’?”

“You, fool,” she said and started to laugh. “Where’s my underwear? It cost a fortune.”

There was a good two inches of water in the boat now and it was sinking faster. Jake fished around and handed her underpants and bra to her.

“Here. I don’t know where your skirt is.”

“I can’t swim in it anyway.” Kate grabbed for her vest. “I don’t believe this.”

He reached for his pants. “It was a good old boat. I’m going to miss it.”

“You’re going to go down with it if we don’t get out of here.” Kate rolled over the side of the boat and into the water.

“I found your skirt,” he said.

“Jake!”

“Will you relax?” He rolled over the side to join her, holding a bundle of his pants and her skirt. He still had his cowboy hat on, she noticed.

I’m in love with a lunatic, she thought. Boy, am I in love.

By the time they swam to shore, the boat was gone.

She wondered if that was symbolic of their relationship, and shivered. The timing was definitely right. Because great sex notwithstanding, she could feel a sense of impending doom. It hadn’t been pretty in the bar tonight. And they still hadn’t talked about the future.

Maybe because they didn’t have one.

She looked over at Jake, who was staring out at the lake where his boat had died. She didn’t want to talk about it tonight. She knew it was cowardly of her, but she wanted one more warm night with him before they faced reality.

He glanced over and saw her staring at him. “Are you all right?”

“I’m fine,” she said and put on her underpants.

“You killed my boat,” Jake said, putting on his. His jeans were wet so he threw them over his shoulder with her skirt.

“I’m not the one who pounded on the boards until they broke,” Kate said. “In fact, I feel a deep kinship with that boat. I know just how it feels.”

“Well, it died in a good cause.” Jake put his arm around her. “Let’s go back to the cabin before somebody catches us out here in our underwear.”


Mark and Penny were sitting on the cabin steps when they got back.

“You’re probably wondering about the underwear,” Jake said.

“Not me,” Mark said, looking at Kate’s legs as she went past him into the cabin.

“I am,” Penny said, and Mark put his hand over her mouth.

“No, she isn’t,” he said.

“You get a raise, kid,” Jake said, and followed Kate inside. “Mark and Penny?” he asked her when the door was closed and they’d stripped off their wet clothing.

“Yes, isn’t it nice?” Kate pulled him down with her and snuggled next to him. “She dumped her fiance for him and they’re getting married. They’re so happy. And Penny says he’s great in bed.”

Jake moved away from her a little. “Yeah, but can he sink a boat?”

“Oh, go to sleep,” she said and pulled him close to her with a little more force than necessary. He kissed her forehead and held her tightly until she finally fell into a restless sleep.


When Jake woke up the next morning, she was gone. He pulled on his jeans and went down to the lake and found her sitting on the stony shore, staring out across the green water.

“You know this lake fetish you have is beginning to worry me. Should I put an aquarium in the bedroom?”

Kate turned her head and looked at him. “I guess I’m going back to the city.”

Jake looked at her for a long moment. “I know,” he said. He sat down gingerly beside her on the stones and stared out at the lake.

“And I don’t suppose you’re coming,” Kate said, trying to keep her tone light.

“No.”

Kate swallowed. “I’ll stay here. If that’s what you want.”

“And do what?” Jake turned his head to face her. “Even if every business in Toby’s Corners hired you as a management consultant, you’d be done in a week. Two, at most.” He shook his head. “I thought about this last night while I watched you with Nancy and Will. You were amazing. And you were so happy.” He smiled ruefully at her. “I hate it, but there’s nothing for you here.”

“Well, there’s you,” Kate said, and Jake laughed.

“Yeah. There’s me.” He turned away. “It’s not enough.”

“You might let me decide what’s enough for me,” Kate said tartly.

“Okay.” Jake faced her again. “Is it enough? Think of all those long days here with nothing to do.”

“Well, I’m thinking about the long nights with you, too,” Kate said.

“Yeah.” Jake turned away and squinted up at the sun. “But the physical stuff doesn’t last.” He picked up a stone and skated it across the water.

“I beg your pardon?” Kate glared at him. “We are more than just ‘physical stuff.’”

“We don’t know that,” Jake said. “After a week? We don’t know that.”

“So all you think of me as is a great lay,” Kate said.

“Well, of course not,” Jake said, and then he added, “But I do think it’s too soon to start giving up careers-”

“Or taking up one,” Kate snapped, suddenly overwhelmed with frustration and anger.

“What?”

“You’ve been retired for five years now. Isn’t it about time you got back in the game?”

“I don’t want back in the game,” Jake said. “I want to stay here and-”

“Float on the lake? It’s too late. Your boat sank.” Kate felt all her repressed anger tighten in her chest. Be calm, she told herself. There’s no reason to get upset.

This is a civilized conversation between two civilized people.

“I keep thinking,” she said, “of what Will said last night. To Valerie.”

“I don’t want to talk about that,” Jake said crossly. “I don’t want to fight about that again.”

“She said, ‘Just like that,’ and he said, ‘It was always like that.’” Kate looked at him. “That’s us, isn’t it?”

“No,” Jake said. “I love you.” He swallowed. “I think.” He tried again. “I just don’t…” He paused, searching for the right words.

“I know,” Kate said, gritting her teeth. “I know everything you don’t. You don’t want to go back to work. You don’t want to be hassled. You don’t want to get married. Everything with you is a negative. Every sentence about the future starts with ‘I don’t.’”

“Look,” Jake said, annoyed. “I never pretended to be anything different.”

“That’s pretty much what Will said last night. Now tell me the one thing we’ve got going for us is honesty.”

“What do you want, Kate?” Jake asked tiredly.

“I want a career and a husband. No,” she said as he started to speak. “I want a career and you as my husband. No substitutions.”

“Well, you can’t have it,” Jake said. “I’m not going back to any city, and I’m not going back to work. And you’re not going to find enough work here to keep you happy.” He looked over at her for a moment and then he smiled without humor. “They lied to you, kid. You can’t have it all.”

“At least I’m trying to get it,” she said. “I’m not rolling over and playing dead.”

“Kate,” Jake began, but she overrode him.

“You know, all that drivel about you wanting the simple life out here, that’s garbage. You don’t want the simple life, because you don’t want anything. You don’t want anything because you’re afraid to want anything. All you know is the safe stuff, the stuff you don’t want.”

“Hey,” Jake said. “You’re not exactly doing all that great with your own life, sweetie.”

“At least I’m trying,” Kate shot back. “At least I’m still in the game. No wonder you defended Will last night. He was doing a gold-medal performance in your favorite sport-running away.” She stood and dusted off the seat of her pants while she glared down at him. “I’m so mad at you, I could kill you. And at the same time, I love you so much, I can’t stand it” She shook her head at him, so angry that she could hardly speak. “You could come to work in the city if you wanted to. You could in a minute. And you’d love it. You know you would. You did once. You did last night. I saw you working on those plans. I saw how interested you were. Everybody saw it. We could have it all, damn it. You make me so mad…” Kate gritted her teeth to keep the scream that was rising in the back of her throat.