They settle.

‘It’s clear to see that you are enamoured with this young woman, Solomon.’ It takes him a few attempts to say enamoured, but he’s intent on using it. ‘And while Rory was wrong to do what he did, you wouldn’t feel this angry if it wasn’t for your feelings for her.’

‘Cormac Fallon, Spiddal’s Dr Phil,’ Solomon laughs it off.

‘He has a point,’ Donal says.

‘Pity she likes the wrong brother,’ Rory pipes up, and receives a knock on the head from Cormac.

‘Get off me, my head is pounding.’

‘Then shut up,’ Cormac says.

They chuckle, including Rory. This behaviour is so unlike their eldest brother.

‘Bo,’ Cormac continues, scrunching up his face. ‘I’m not convinced on you and Bo.’

‘I’m not convinced on you and Madeleine,’ Solomon says quickly, taking offence, then a slug of beer.

The others oooh and watch with interest.

‘You’re right,’ Cormac says solemnly, which receives a chuckle of surprise. ‘Sometimes I’m not convinced on me and Madeleine either.’

Rory picks up his phone and starts filming.

‘Stop being a dick,’ Cara says, slapping the back of his head. He drops the phone.

Cormac continues. ‘Madeleine is… sometimes I don’t even like Madeleine.’

They all laugh while Cormac attempts to stop them so he can finish.

‘But… but… listen. She is often the most annoying person in the world. And I want to strangle her. Or leave her. But even in the worst of times – and we’ve had a lot, especially lately… this fucking menopause thing. If I could leave her until it’s over, I would. I really would.’

They piss themselves laughing, but Cara shakes her head. ‘Unbelievable.’

‘But I couldn’t. Because even when I don’t like Madeleine, I fucking love Madeleine.’

Which is possibly the most twisted but romantic thing any of them has ever said about any of their partners.

‘Anyway, where was I?’ He tries to focus on Solomon, one eye closed to help. ‘You and Bo. I don’t think you’re right together. You’re not a good match.’

‘With all due respect, Cormac – and I appreciate that you care for me,’ Solomon says softly, ‘Bo and I aren’t for anybody else to think if we’re right.’

‘Of course!’ Cormac throws his hands up and splashes his bottle contents. He reaches out and pokes his beer-drenched finger in Solomon’s chest. ‘But do you think you’re right together? Solomon, this is life brother, there’s no harm, or shame in admitting something’s not working. Get out now while you can,’ he waves his hand dismissively. ‘I don’t know what you’re hanging on for.’

The next day, struggling with a mighty hangover, Solomon drives to Dublin thinking about everything Cormac and his siblings had said to him.

It had all made so much sense last night, he would break up with Bo. Cara had coached him on the right words, they’d spoken until the sun rose, but in the cold sober light of day, it terrifies him.

He turns on the radio to distract himself.

‘And in entertainment news it is unclear whether Lyrebird will take to the stage in StarrQuest’s live final. The contestant, whose real name is Laura Button, received two hundred and fifty million views on social media following her first audition, but last weekend she hit the headlines after a night out clubbing, leading to a media backlash. Jack Starr had this to say at a press conference with the finalists today.’

‘We’re very much hoping that Lyrebird will take part. It is of course up to her, and all of us at StarrQuest will give her the encouragement and support she needs.’

‘And Lyrebird’s fellow contestant Alan, from the popular act Alan and Mabel, had this to say…’

‘Laura is doing great. She’s fine. She’s just emotionally, physically and mentally drained. It has been the most extraordinary roller coaster, for all of us, so I can’t imagine how it’s been for her. I think all she needed was a bit of R&R, being somewhere private, so she could get over what’s happened to her, because what’s happened to her has been unprecedented.’

‘On Lyrebird’s sensational night out that grabbed every front page across the world, Alan had this to say…’

‘Laura got off a flight from Australia where she’d been for only two days, working an intense schedule, she then had to go straight into rehearsals for the semi-final, which she won, and she had a few drinks for the first time in her life. She was entitled to celebrate her success. She did nothing wrong in that nightclub, it was a misunderstanding, she needed support and help, and instead people took advantage. She learned some harsh lessons, but she has learned.’

‘Will Lyrebird perform at the final?’

‘I hope she does,’ Alan says.

‘Really? But she’s your greatest competition. You two are the favourites.’

‘She’s the most genuinely lovely and naturally talented person I’ve ever met. I hope she goes up on that stage and proves to people why she got their attention in the first place, and I hope she wins.’

‘Which just makes us all love the amazing Alan and Mabel even more. So has the Lyrebird lost her lore? Tune in to the StarrQuest final to see!’

Solomon drives the car across three lanes to pull into the hard shoulder to angry drivers’ beeps. He puts on his hazards, lowers the window and breathes deeply. He has never wanted or needed somebody so much in his life.

34

When Laura chose to close her mouth, she closed all the doors around her. To her fellow contestants who she lived with, to Curtis, who she refused to see, and Bianca, who she refused to speak with, even to Solomon, who she couldn’t bear seeing after her embarrassment, and to Bo, because under StarrGaze Entertainment’s orders she’s forbidden from speaking with any media for the foreseeable future.

Despite Bo’s protestations, despite her attempts to change Jack’s mind, sweetly and then through threats of solicitor’s letters, nothing is working. Bo can barely get to Jack, Curtis is blocking everything and it seems the whole of StarrQuest is in a panic, faced with the worldwide spotlight – attention they had enjoyed when Lyrebird was attracting hundreds of millions of online views, but not now. The backlash has moved on from Lyrebird to focus on StarrQuest and StarrGaze Entertainment. They’ve been getting it from all sides: opinion pieces in the press and talk-show panels have debated whether the show failed its star. After all, wasn’t Lyrebird their responsibility? Didn’t they effectively allow this meltdown to happen? Shouldn’t they do more to screen their contestants: insist that they undergo psychiatric tests, provide therapy before, during and after the audition process and live show? Shouldn’t talent shows have a greater responsibility for their contestants’ welfare?

Jack Starr is doing interviews with CNN, Sky News and all around the world, explaining the close relationship he has with his contestants, that their welfare comes first at all times. ‘Nobody could have anticipated the effects of Lyrebird’s first audition, nobody could prepare for it. Nobody could ever know how that level of attention could affect a person. It was new to everyone and everyone was and is responsible: the show, the media, society, the public, even Lyrebird herself. It was unprecedented. Her talent is immense and I want to nurture it and her. Rest assured, that’s what we’re doing. This is entertainment. If there is no joy, what’s the point? Lyrebird has been asked many times if she wants to proceed. Whether she chooses to continue with StarrQuest or not is purely her decision, there is no pressure on her from our side.’