‘Lambs to the slaughter,’ Rachel says, viewing it distastefully.

The venue is famous for hosting gigs with big-name acts; small and intimate, it previously served as a slaughterhouse and was renovated as a live venue. The audition process is different to most talent shows: there are no queues of auditionees snaking around railings for hours on end, instead everybody has already faced a panel of judges and has been selected for the live auditions. It’s a selection process driven by entertainment requirements as much as seeking out raw talent. The format of StarrQuest is that during the live, one-hour show, ten contestants are given two minutes to perform. Jack Starr sits on a throne, the audience sits around the stage like it’s a gladiator arena. After each two-minute performance, Jack hits a button to reveal either an enormous gold thumb up or a thumb down for ‘execution’. The format was devised by Jack Starr and his production company, StarrGaze – a throwback to his band days, when he was lead singer of the Starr Gazers. Last year, after a lengthy court battle, he won the right to resume using StarrGaze as the title of his production company, record company and talent agency, after an unhappy ex-band member raised his dishevelled head to fight him on it.

The StarrQuest franchise has been bought by twelve other countries around the world and is fronted by various presenters with Starr-like qualities and similar histories in entertainment. But the elusive US market still hasn’t bitten, and it’s a target he’s chasing more vigorously now that American Idol has ended its run. As Ireland has become his second home, and the only English-speaking territory that has bought the format, he chooses to appear as a judge on the Irish show. Winners are signed up to his record label and entertainment agency, StarrGaze. It is his moment to shine before the next talent show music don comes along, and he’s enjoying the revival of success almost twenty years after his debut album won Grammys and led him to tour all around the world. He’s making money again, due to the show and the re-release of his debut album. He’s enjoyed the return to playing live gigs, his first love, and tries to include as much of his new material as possible to an audience that has only come to hear their favourite hits. His wish is for his new material to chart; it’s far better than anything he produced in his alcohol-and-drug-fuelled twenties, but his popularity on the show has not spilled into his music career. Since StarrQuest aired, he’s released one song that failed to reach the top forty.

In the centre of the StarrQuest stage is a four-sided screen. A golden glove wavers midway during decision time before becoming a thumbs up or thumbs down. The twist in this is that the audience gets to take part. The audience is made up of those in the studio and people at home who can vote via the StarrQuest voting app. If the audience votes Thumbs Up when Jack has voted Thumbs Down, then they overrule his decision. If he votes Thumbs Up, he overrules an audience’s Thumbs Down, the message being that any Yes rules the day. Since turning to Buddhism after his wild life cost him his marriage, his career, almost himself, he’s tried to breathe positivity into everything he creates. Previous formats of the show saw eliminated contestants who’d received the executioner’s thumbs down leave in a cage carried off by gladiators, but this was abandoned after the first season when viewers protested at the offensive image of a ninety-two-year-old mother of eleven, whose children and grandchildren were in the audience, being carted off after her rendition of ‘Danny Boy’, and a crying ten-year-old boy whose magic trick had failed had a panic attack when forced to enter the cage. The execution cage had, however, remained popular in a Middle Eastern version of the franchise.

Despite the featured acts having been auditioned and scheduled months and weeks in advance, Jack Starr has managed to put Laura on this weekend’s live show. The producers have watched Bo’s iPhone footage of Laura mimicking the coffee machine and some additional footage supplied on request, so they are aware of what she will deliver tonight. But first, a meeting in person, a sound check and run-through to be completely sure. They’re not that trusting.

Security is heavy at the entrance. Michael, Jack’s personal security, decides to deal with Solomon and Rachel himself.

‘You can go through,’ he says to Rachel, but he holds a hand out to stop Solomon. It’s a good twenty years since Michael was winning awards for knocking people out in a ring, but the passing years have done nothing to reduce his enormous frame. He glares at Solomon, who rolls his eyes and hoists his sound equipment on to his shoulder.

‘I’m here to work,’ Solomon says, bored. He’s tempted to add ‘Big Mickey’ – the name he went by in his boxing days in the States. There, it might have sounded cool, but not in Ireland.

‘Funny, I remember your ass getting fired after I threw you out.’ At six foot eight, the American towers above Solomon. He was Jack’s tour manager back in the day and they’ve remained loyal to each other during this revival. Jack’s honourable that way. Can’t stay faithful to a woman, but never forgets a friend.

Ordinarily, Solomon couldn’t care less if he wasn’t allowed into the building. He would be happy to never set foot near Jack Starr again, and he is trying to detach himself from Laura, but he needs to gain access for the sake of the documentary. He tells himself it’s for that, nothing to do with wanting to be near Laura. Tomorrow he will be in Switzerland and he won’t have to continue this battle in his head.

Laura and Bo are already inside. They’ve had most of the day together while he’s been off filming Grotesque Bodies, as Paul Boyle prepares for his pending operation in Switzerland. Solomon thought he would enjoy being away from them both after such an intense few days, but instead he’d spent the entire day worrying about Laura. Short texts from Bo kept him informed, but her last text had been an angry FFS she’s a grown woman, stop it. She hadn’t responded to his reply. He had no idea where they’d spent the day, or what they’d done, couldn’t even imagine the two of them doing anything together.

Rachel steps back outside to stand with Solomon. ‘I think he’s going to let you in, he just wants to let you stew for a while.’

‘Fine with me,’ Solomon says, placing his equipment down and leaning against the wall for what will no doubt be a long wait.

‘Did you hear from Bo today?’ Solomon asks Rachel.

‘I did and I didn’t,’ Rachel says.

‘What does that mean?’

‘She called me a few times when I was at the scan, even though she knew I was at the scan. She left a message asking me to come meet her and Laura.’

‘To film?’

‘No, just to meet them.’

Rachel’s face said it all. She was annoyed about being disturbed on her personal time. Solomon liked the fact that Rachel could talk about Bo as she wished, regardless of the fact they were in a relationship. He liked that she felt comfortable with him enough to say what was on her mind, and they could say what they liked about their boss. Solomon didn’t like to complain about Bo, but Rachel knew, she always knew, when he was bothered. What bothered Solomon about Bo was what bothered most people about Bo.

‘Was Laura okay?’ he asks, frowning at the news that Bo had called Rachel for assistance.

‘I’m sure Laura was fine. It may have been Bo that was struggling.’

Solomon wonders why, in all the texts she’d sent him, Bo never once admitted that she needed him. He gave her plenty of opportunities. Though he couldn’t have dropped work and rushed to be with her. But he would have.

The door opens and Bo finally appears, looking uncharacte‌ristically flustered. Having Solomon and Jack in the same building – one ex-boyfriend, one current boyfriend who’d beaten up the ex-boyfriend and thus gotten himself fired and thrown out of the building – was never going to be an easy situation. But as soon as she sees Solomon and Rachel, the worry disappears from her face. ‘Hi, guys,’ she says, her relief clear, then it turns to confusion. ‘What are you doing standing outside?’

‘He won’t let me in,’ Solomon says, indicating Michael.

‘She can go in,’ Michael says, taking a bite out of an apple. The apple is invisible as his enormous hand wraps around it, the bite he makes almost ends the apple.

‘She has a name,’ Rachel says.

‘My apologies.’ He dips his head. ‘But asshole here, doesn’t.’

‘Apology accepted,’ Rachel chuckles.

‘Michael,’ Bo says, ‘Jack said it’s okay for him to come in.’

‘Well, Jack never told me that.’

‘I bet,’ Solomon says.

‘Why won’t he let you in, Solomon?’ Laura says suddenly, and they all turn to see her behind Michael’s enormous frame. Her eyes are wide and fearful.

‘Laura,’ Bo says, annoyed, as though speaking to a child, ‘I told you to stay in the waiting room.’

‘Asshole’s not allowed in,’ Michael explains to Laura, ‘because last time I laid my eyes on this little girl, she was having a hissy fit. Had to carry her out kicking and screaming.’

‘She punched quite well for a girl, I thought,’ Rachel defends Solomon. ‘I wasn’t here, but I saw the bruises in the photos in the newspaper.’

Michael turns his attention to Rachel.

‘She’s not a fan of Big Mickeys,’ Solomon says, and Rachel rolls her eyes.

‘Jesus, none of us will be allowed in if you carry on like this. Let me sort it out,’ Bo says, rooting through her bag for her phone.

‘Bo, please tell Jack Starr thank you very much for the opportunity, but I won’t go in there without Solomon,’ Laura speaks up, polite but firm.