Lauren Parker, a nationally renowned landscape architect and one of a very few women to head her own firm, had interviewed her personally. Anna recalled that she had been both direct and personable, questioning Anna thoroughly but in an easy relaxed manner. Apparently she had been impressed by Annas graduate work on historic estate renovations, an area she said her firm was interested in exploring. Although it seemed now to Anna that she had floated through the interview in a daze, she must have made a favorable impression. She had been there six months. She grabbed her briefcase and hurried toward the door. She needed this job, but more importantly, she needed to work. It was the only thing which provided brief respite from her memories.

Anna was sketching in the details of an outdoor theatre when someone tapped on the wall of her work cubicle. She looked up to find Lauren leaning against the partition. It wasnt unusual for Lauren Parker to supervise the work of her staff personally, but she managed to do it in a way that was both non-threatening and non-intrusive. Those who worked for her knew how fortunate they were to have an employer who was talented as well as fair-minded.

Anna smiled a greeting, laying her work aside. "Hi."

"Hi. Hows the prospectus for the Randolph estate?"

Lauren was dressed casually in a navy linen pants suit that accentuated her trim athletic build. She could have been thirty-five, although Anna knew she was at least ten years older. She radiated confidence and vigorous good health. Her blonde hair was stylishly short, and she wore almost no makeup.

"Good, I think. I have some things to run by Don, and then it should be ready for you to look at."

Lauren nodded. "Excellent. Were ahead of schedule, which should appease those elements on Randolphs board of directors who thought the project should go to Tom Langdon across town." Despite her firms national reputation, there were always those who mistrusted the ability of a woman to excel in a mans field. This job was her entree into the realm of historic renovation she had been waiting for.

Lauren hesitated a second, then asked, "How about a working dinner tonight? Id like to hear what youve come up with so far, but Ive got clients scheduled all afternoon. If you dont have other plans? I know its Friday night."

A shadow flickered across Annas face and was quickly gone. "No," she said quietly, "I dont have any plans. Dinner would be fine. Should I meet you somewhere?"

"Why dont we just grab a cab from here?" Lauren hadnt missed the reaction her invitation had provoked. Whatever the memory, it had hurt. She said nothing further, knowing Anna was intensely private.

Anna nodded, "Okay."

Lauren smiled warmly. "GoodIm looking forward to it."

**********

At six oclock Lauren stopped in the corridor beside Annas desk. "Are you ready to finish up? The cab should be downstairs in about fifteen minutes."

Anna smiled up at her, nodding. "Im more than ready. Ill just freshen up and meet you outside."

Lauren held the cab door open while Anna slid in, then instructed the driver, "The Copely Plaza, please," as she settled next to Anna with a sigh. "God, Ive been looking forward to this all day."

"I might be a little under-dressed for the Copely," Anna said, indicating her casual slacks and sweater.

Lauren turned her head to look at Anna. "Nonsense. You look terrific," she said softly. The woman beside her had lost the deep tan that had accentuated her blue eyes and blond hair so strikingly six months before, but she had also lost the haunted look that seemed to shadow her every moment. She smiled occasionally now, a blazing smile that never failed to capture Laurens attention for just long enough to be distracting. Pleasantly distracting.

Anna blushed under Laurens warm, appraising glance. It was nothing like the way men had looked at her, still did in fact. She didnt feel as if she were being assessed like a painting about to be purchased, or a fine wine about to be consumed. Laurens glance was appreciative, and intimate in a respectful way. It was the first time Anna had ever been aware of a woman looking at her in quite that manner. Would Graham have, if she could have seen her? Without warning she remembered the way Graham had stroked her face after they made love, seeing her in the only way she could. Anna recognized the sensuality of Laurens gaze because she had felt it, magnified a thousand times, in Grahams hands on her skin. The image was so painful she closed her eyes with a small gasp.

"What is it?" Lauren asked in concern.

"Just a headache," Anna said with a shaky laugh. "I think I forgot lunch and its catching up with me."

"Well, dinner is on the company," Lauren said, almost as if she didnt own it. "Lets enjoy it!" She doubted the headache story; she had seen the same thing happen to Anna before. Some word or gesture would inexplicably cause her to pale, visibly shaken. Something had hurt her badly, and Lauren guessed that Anna kept the anguish at bay through sheer strength of will. Annas struggle touched some deep cord in Lauren, as she watched the younger woman slowly rise above her pain over the past months. "Come on," she said, touching Annas hand briefly. "Let me buy you a drink."

Anna forced herself to relax, wanting to forget everything for just a little while. She decided to try to enjoy herself, and before she knew it, she was seated with Lauren at a cozy table sipping a very fine wine.

At Laurens suggestion, they got business out of the way while they waited for appetizers, so that by the time their meal came, their conversation was casual. Anna found Lauren an easy companion. Her interests beyond the professional were varied, and she had a way of bringing images to life with her enthusiasm. She was bright, gracious and altogether charming. For the first time in months Anna found she could actually distance herself from the despair that seemed to be the undercurrent of her life. She was grateful for the brief surcease of pain.

"Anna," Lauren said as she reached to fill Annas wine glass, "you have been doing excellent work at the firm, and I consider us lucky to have you. I hope you plan to stay on with us for the long-term. There will be plenty of opportunity for advancement."

Anna stared at her in surprise. She hadnt expected Lauren to notice her work, let alone comment so favorably upon it. She was pleased and said so.

Lauren nodded, her face uncharacteristically subdued. She fidgeted briefly with her straw, then tossed it onto the table with a sigh. "Theres never an easy way to do this, at least none that Ive ever found," she said at length. "But I want you to understand that this has absolutely nothing to do with work, and never will. No matter what you say to me, your position at the firm is based upon your production, and your skill - nothing else."

Anna looked at her quizzically. "I dont have the faintest idea what youre talking about," she said.

Lauren blushed and laughed lightly. "How could you? Im not saying anything!" She leaned forward slightly, her intense grey eyes fixed on Annas. "AnnaI think you are a very attractive woman, and I like you. I would very much like to spend more time with yousocially. Well, romantically actually."

Anna stared at her, at a loss for words. Lauren was highly attractive in many ways - bright, accomplished, physically compelling, and Anna was more comfortable with her than she had been in months. Part of her wanted this woman to make her forget Graham Yardley.

Lauren waited in silence, then asked softly, "Have I misread you? If I have, I apologize."

Anna cleared her throat, then responded, "No, you haventI mean, I am a lesbian."

Lauren added in concern, "I have never asked an employee out before. I meant it, Annadont think for a second that this has any bearing on your position at the firm. Please!"

Anna searched for her voice. "I dontit doesnt feel that way, and neither do you."

She looked at the woman across from her, imagining her touch, her kiss. She had grown to admire and respect Lauren, and after tonight she knew she liked her. She wondered if she could let Lauren make love to her body, if the physical sensation might even be welcome, if it somehow might dull her memory of Graham even briefly. She longed for some relief from the endless torment, but she knew without a shred of doubt she could never give Lauren her heart. That was no longer hers to own, or to give. She was Grahams, in every fiber of her being, and always would be. She looked at Lauren helplessly, " Its not that -its just-, I cant, Lauren, Im sorry"

Lauren thought she detected tears in her eyes. "Hey," she said softly, "its okay. I didnt mean to upset you."

Anna shook her head, brushing impatiently at the moisture on her cheeks. "You haventthis has been the best night Ive spent in months. And if things were different"

Lauren hurried to state, "I dont want to get in the middle of anything if youre already involved with someone. Ive never heard you mention anyone."

"No," Anna answered, the pain in her voice impossible to hide. "Im not involved with anyone."

"But?" Lauren questioned gently.

Annas gaze was wounded. "But there is someone I love, very muchsomeone who apparently doesnt love me. But that doesnt stop the wantingdoes it?"

Lauren looked at her sympathetically. "No, it doesnt. Perhaps time will help. Ive enjoyed our evening together. And Id like to do it again sometime. I appreciate your honesty, Anna, and if the time comes that you might feel differently about seeing me, Ill consider myself lucky. Til thenfriends?"

Anna smiled tremulously. "I could use a friend. Thank you, Lauren."