“I know that voice,” Stephanie said.
“I think we hit the jackpot.”
No one noticed them when they walked around to the back, because everyone was too absorbed in the problem at hand. Melody and Lucy each had a handle on the black plastic body bag stuck half-in and half-out of the small basement window.
“This is impossible,” Lucy said. “We should have taken him up the stairs the way I wanted.”
Melody dug her heels in and pulled. “It seemed like a shortcut. I mean, we always dumped him out of windows before.”
“Yes, but they were big windows,” Ivan said.
Both women yelped and dropped the bag. The body slid back through the window and landed with a muffled thunk. A third familiar voice could be heard cursing in the basement.
Ivan raised his eyebrows. “Ace?”
“I’ve sort of adopted him,” Melody said. “Daddy’s giving him a job at the factory.”
Things began to come together in Ivan’s mind. “My Lord, you’re Ted’s daughter. The skinny kid who went to Juilliard.”
“And when I graduated from Juilliard, I went on tour with a band, but I found out I wasn’t the touring type, so I came home. Thanks to you, I have a home to come home to.”
Ivan turned his attention to Lucy. “What are you doing here?”
“Helping cousin Melody. We have to return Mr. Kulecza.”
“I didn’t know Melody was a cousin,” Stephanie said.
Lucy nodded. “On my mother’s side. I guess that makes you cousins-in-law or something.”
There were a lot of scuffing and thumping noises coming from the house. The door was flung open, and Ace backed out, dragging the bag. He saw Ivan and paled. “Oh crap!”
Ivan pointed at the bag. “Mr. Kulecza?”
“It’s not really as bad as it seems,” Melody said. “I can explain.”
Ivan had a flashback of past conversations about broken pigs’ legs and cancerous growths and wasn’t sure he wanted to hear the explanation.
Melody saw the tense set to his mouth and decided not to wait for encouragement.
“Everyone in town was really upset when they found out you had to put Haben up for sale to save the factory. We tried to raise enough money to pay for the changes ourselves, but we couldn’t even come close. Then Lucy had a brainstorm. She found out Stephanie had just come into a ton of money and wanted to leave New Jersey. It was too good to be true. Not only would Stephanie be the perfect person to buy Haben, but she’d be the perfect person to match up with you. All we had to do was get you two to fall in love and get married, and you could live Habenly ever after.”
Ivan stood statue still while he absorbed what he’d just heard. The whole damn town had plotted to get him married. And worse than that, they’d plotted to get him back into Haben. He felt like a gold digger! An opportunist! He was touched by their concern, and he was furious at their meddling.
“Just exactly what did you do to ensure we’d fall in love?”
Melody backed up a step at the controlled anger in his voice. “Well, we thought it would be good if we could get Stephanie to take a cruise, but she wouldn’t cooperate. Lucy tried all summer to get her on the boat, but no, Stephanie didn’t have time. So as a last resort we came up with this plan to get her on board as cook. We broke a whole lot of stuff and set her up with workmen who would overcharge, then when we knew her money was short, we offered her Stanley Shelton.”
Stephanie gasped. “You wasted my money! How could you do that? I needed that money.”
“We couldn’t think of anything else to do. Besides, we have almost all of it in a bank account for you. Lenny Schneider fixed your porch for free, and Hyram Mayler didn’t actually give you a new water heater… he gave you your old water heater back. The only thing we didn’t count on was the toilet. It got cracked by accident. I haven’t any idea how your toilet got cracked.”
A muscle twitched in Ivan’s jaw. “Why did you stow away on the Savage?”
“To keep an eye on you.” Melody defiantly stuck her nose into the air in response to his threatening tone. “We weren’t sure how much pirate blood you’d inherited.”
“I see.” He looked at Stephanie, who was standing rigid at his side. Her face was set in a mask of grim disbelief. He curled his hand around her waist, nestling her a little closer, and gestured at the body bag. “Mr. Kulecza. Doesn’t he have any relatives? I can’t believe someone gave you this guy to throw out of windows.”
Laughter flashed across Melody’s face. “He’s just a dummy. We borrowed him from Zembrowsky’s Funeral Home. My cousin Joey works there. They use Mr. Kulecza to show off the caskets. They named him Mr. Kulecza because he looks like Bucky Kulecza. Remember old Bucky? Used to make lasts?” Melody stooped to unzip the bag. “He’s really lifelike. They use this same stuff to make the robots at Disneyland.
“Things didn’t look as if they were going so well between you guys, so we thought we’d borrow Mr. Kulecza, dangle him in front of Stephanie’s window in the middle of the night, and she’d get scared and turn to you. It sounded great when we thought of it, but dopey Ace stashed Mr. Kulecza in the wrong closet. Then when we tried to dangle him and make ghost sounds, the wind picked up, and he crashed through Stephanie’s window.”
Ivan thought Mr. Kulecza was lucky not to have a bullet hole in the middle of his plastic forehead. He put out a tentative finger and touched the mannequin’s cheek. “What about Mr. and Mrs. Platz?”
“It was a pity haunt. An act of mercy.”
Stephanie knew from police work that surprise and stress were capable of distorting perception. She silently repeated that truth over and over as she rode back to Camden with Ivan.
Melody and Lucy and Ace and possibly seven hundred other people had connived to return Haben to the Rasmussen family. Ivan had nothing to do with it, she told herself. He had proposed because he loved her. It had never occurred to him that he could regain Haben through marriage, right? Right. Why was she even thinking such trash?
She closed her eyes and leaned back in her seat. She couldn’t shake the doubt. If it had occurred to all those shoemakers, it could have occurred to Ivan. She waged a mental debate. Low self-esteem, she told herself. She couldn’t believe Ivan would want to marry her for herself. That was ridiculous, she decided. She liked herself. Her esteem was just fine and dandy. He’d be lucky to get a prize like her. Oh yeah? came the reply. What about Steve? He didn’t want her. Stephanie smacked her forehead. Steve was gay, for crying out loud. He wanted Roger Beldon! She shook her head. She was getting weird. Her CPU was overloaded.
“Ivan, I need to get away for a while.”
He’d known it was coming. She hadn’t spoken a word since they’d left the factory parking lot, but the air had crackled with unspoken accusation and painful confusion. He knew she was waging a silent war, debating the possibility of dishonorable intentions on his part. It was understandable. His first thoughts had run along the same lines. He’d listened to Melody’s explanation and suddenly felt revolted at the thought of marrying Stephanie to get Haben back.
Of course, the plan had been for them to fall in love, and that wasn’t nearly so mercenary. But it had raised uncomfortable questions all the same. Questions Stephanie was going to have to answer all by herself. A good marriage had its share of blind faith. Stephanie was going to have to look inside herself and decide if she had enough faith in his love to marry him. And he was going to have to sweat it out, he thought ruefully.
Stephanie stopped for a light, stretched her cramped arms toward the windshield, and flexed her fingers. She’d been on the road for nine hours. It seemed like nine days. She’d gone home to Jersey City to regroup and think things through, and had found out that home was no longer in New Jersey. It was nice to see her parents and friends, but she’d been a visitor. Her home was in Maine now, and she’d been anxious to return.
Anxious to return. The phrase stuck in her mind as she slowly drove through the town of Camden, over the Megunticook River, and north on High Street. She decided that anxious was exactly the right word to describe her feelings.
She’d left without much of an explanation to Ivan and wasn’t at all sure what she’d find waiting for her at Haben. She’d simply said she’d needed to get away, and she’d headed south, smarting under the realization that she’d been manipulated by strangers, friends, and relatives. She’d probably looked like a blithering idiot, not even recognizing her own water heater!
By the time she’d reached New Jersey, she’d gone over every detail and was laughing out loud. The whole scheme had been outrageous. And doubting Ivan’s love had been equally insane. Several times she’d started to call Ivan from New Jersey but had hung up even before she’d finished dialing. The telephone seemed inappropriate for the message she wanted to convey. Now she was going to see him, face-to-face, and she was nervous.
The nerves disappeared when Haben came into view. Someone had decorated the front porch with pumpkins and Indian corn, and a cutout of a ghost had been taped to the front door for Halloween. This is the real Haben, she thought. It wasn’t staid and stuffy, and she’d be foolish to try to force her preconceived ideas of stately elegance on the big old house. It was daily disasters and fun on holidays, and it probably really did have a ghost who broke toilets. Ivan was right when he said it was a house that needed children and dogs and an orange cat. She glanced down at the small ball of orange fluff sleeping on the seat next to her. It was a step in the right direction. Maybe next month she’d get a dog. The kids might be harder to come by.
She pulled into the driveway, slung her purse over her shoulder, and cuddled the kitten in the crook of her arm. She wasn’t surprised to find the front door unlocked.
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