And a lot of it had happened since she came aboard the Savage, she thought. She was working hard, she was exhausted, and she was challenged. She liked the sea, the Savage, and everyone around her. She’d come to realize a lot about herself in the past two days. She wasn’t a loner type. She liked noise and people and hugs and kisses. She felt terrifically alive and self-indulgent.

There was another crash, and Stephanie winced. “I’d better get back to the galley.”

He held her wrist. “I’d like to continue our conversation later.”

Stephanie wondered which part of the conversation he wanted to continue and felt a twinge of panic.

“Uh-oh, you look like you need to be talked into this,” Ivan said, grinning. “Tell you what, if you come to my cabin at ten tonight, I’ll show you my gyroscope.”

“Gee, how could anyone refuse an offer like that?”

The sun was low, hidden behind a thick cloud cover when everyone sat down to the turkey dinner. The ship’s anchor had been dropped in a protected cove, and the Savage lay motionless as a fine rain pelted against the windows and roofs. The gray dreariness of the sea and sky made the interior of the ship seem rich with creature comforts and alive with the energy of its inhabitants. Every lantern had been lit in the forward cabin. The air was heavy with the smell of roast turkey and sage dressing, and conversation and laughter filled the room, rising and falling like the comforting slap of waves against the wooden hull. Stephanie took her place at the table and almost went faint at the sight of the feast she’d created. It was wonderful. All modesty aside, she didn’t think Lucy could have done a better job.

Mr. Pease helped himself to mashed potatoes and poured hot gravy over his turkey slices. “This is great. This is just like Thanksgiving.”

Mrs. Pease studied her roll. “These rolls are delicious, and they’re in so many different shapes. What a wonderful idea. This roll looks just like a…” Her face turned scarlet, and she dropped the roll onto her plate with a small gasp.

Mr. Pease looked at the roll. “It looks like a man’s parts!” His face creased into a broad grin. “Daggone if it doesn’t!”

Stephanie examined her own roll, then clapped a hand over her mouth to keep from laughing.

“I couldn’t make crescents,” Melody explained. “They kept falling apart.”

Ace had removed his dark glasses. He had two rolls on his plate, side by side. “My rolls are in love,” he said.

Melody glared at him with her raccoon eyes. “Your rolls aren’t in love. Your rolls are in heat!” She waved her butter knife at him. “Your rolls should be emasculated, you little runt.”

Ace put his glasses back on. “Hey, I don’t go around making dirty rolls, do I? Noooooo. Is this the pot calling the kettle black?”

“You told me you loved me and wanted to marry me.”

Ace sliced a piece of turkey. “Yes, but I didn’t say when.”

At ten o’clock Stephanie squared her shoulders and knocked at the door to Ivan’s cabin.

“Couldn’t resist getting a look at my gyroscope, huh?” he said, pulling her inside. His bed was perfectly made with a red plaid blanket and white sheets. The small electric cabin light was lit. He sat on the bed and patted the spot next to him.

Stephanie sat on the edge and folded her hands in her lap. “This isn’t going to work. I feel uncomfortable. Probably everyone’s standing outside your door listening.”

“Probably everyone’s sound asleep after that turkey dinner.”

She shifted on the bunk and cracked her knuckles. “So, what do you want to talk about? Sex?”

“Gonna jump right in, huh?”

“Yeah.” She took a shallow breath. “Let’s get it over with.”

“You sure you want to talk about sex?”

“Absolutely.” She sprang to her feet and paced in the narrow cabin. “Sex has been on my mind a lot lately. I’ve been thinking about it all afternoon. So I figure I should get it out in the open. You know, get it off my chest.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Actually, I was wondering if… if you wanted to go to bed with me.”

The subtle approach, Ivan thought, smiling. Was it any wonder he was crazy over her? “Is this a rhetorical question or a proposition?”

“I suppose it’s a rhetorical question. Does that make a difference in your answer?”

She was contemplating having a romance, and he happened to be convenient, Ivan thought. Still, Stephanie wasn’t the sort of woman to participate in indiscriminate sex. If she was considering a romance, that meant she’d decided she liked him. And that was good because he thought this relationship had real potential. Maybe it was the low-pressure weather that was affecting his mood. Or maybe it was the right time in his life. Or maybe Stephanie Lowe was simply the right woman. Whatever the reason, the bottom line was that he was a goner, Ivan admitted. He was in lust, but even worse, he suspected he loved Stephanie Lowe. Being in lust was the rush of passion that made your stomach flip and your gut knot up. It was novelty, excitement, a chase. Love was a more gentle emotion. And he was experiencing both.

He hadn’t always been so discriminating in the past, but Stephanie had something special to offer him, and he wanted to make sure her first time was perfect. He didn’t want her having any reservations or regrets. “Steph, any man would be a fool not to want to go to bed with you, but-”

“Here comes the but. That’s what Steve said… but. You’re not going to dump on me, are you?”

“No!”

“But you don’t want to go to bed with me. I can tell you don’t want to go to bed with me.”

“Of course I want to go to bed with you, it’s just that-”

“Yes?”

This was something that needed to be handled delicately. He searched for the right words and drew a blank.

“You aren’t going to give me a lecture on loose morals, are you? Listen, Buster, I deserve to have a romance. I’ve hung on to my virginity for twenty-nine long years.”

This wasn’t going well. He sat up straighter and dragged a hand through his hair. “Stephanie, you don’t want to rush into something like a romance just because you think your bedpost needs some notches.” Way to go, Rasmussen, really delicate. He grimaced. He couldn’t believe he’d said that.

“Good grief.”

“Sorry, but I’m new at this. I’ve never tried to talk a woman out of going to bed with me before.”

“Lucky me. What an honor. In case you haven’t noticed, I haven’t completely decided to go to bed with you. Maybe I’ll decide against it. Maybe I’ll decide Ace is a better prospect. Maybe I’ll decide to run an ad in the paper. Lord, I never thought it would be so hard to get rid of my virginity. Maybe I should rent a pervert.”

“That isn’t funny.”

Stephanie plopped back onto the bed. “I might cry.”

Ivan stuffed a pillow behind his back and pulled Stephanie against him, wrapping her in his arms. “Steph, do you trust me?”

She thought about it for a moment. “Yes.”

“Don’t worry about the sex.”

“Easy for you to say.” Stephanie sighed. “I’ve been afraid for so long, you know? I wanted to be brave about this. I wanted to… go for the gusto.”

“What were you afraid of?”

“Everything. Just call me No Guts Stephanie. I lost my courage as a cop, then I realized that I didn’t have any courage as a person. All those chicken dinners and meaningless evenings with Steve. I was like a little kid carrying around a security blanket. I was afraid to go off on my own, afraid to break away from my parents, afraid to take risks in a more demanding male-female relationship.”

“Sometimes when you’re very close to things, it’s hard to see them. They get out of perspective. You were doing something that obviously was important to you, and you had to delay other parts of your life for a while. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

Stephanie allowed herself the luxury of leaning on him. “Thanks. I know it was a trade-off, but I think toward the end I was using my job as an excuse to avoid developing other areas of my life. I’d forgotten how to make friends. I’d made my life very narrow. I’d lost the courage to be accessible… to be vulnerable.”

“And now?”

“There are so many things I want to do. I feel as though I’ve been standing with my nose pressed against the bakery window, and now I’m finally allowed inside, and I don’t know what to buy first.”

“What goodies are at the top of your list?”

Stephanie hesitated. She shifted around in his arms and looked him straight in the eye. “I guess your goodies would be number one.”

“Oh.”

“Oh? That’s all you can say? Oh? I’ve just told you for the second time in ten minutes that I’m hot for your goodies, and all you can say is oh. I’ve just spilled my guts about being vulnerable, and all you can say is oh. What kind of a pirate are you anyway? Why aren’t you ravishing me? Why doesn’t anyone ever want to ravish me?” She was shouting, and her cheeks were bright red. “Look at me! I’m hysterical! You’ve made me hysterical. I’ve never been hysterical before.”

She took a deep, calming breath and pressed her lips together. “I’m going to leave now. Tomorrow I’m going to be mortally embarrassed about this, so I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t talk to me. In a year or so my embarrassment will probably fade, and maybe we can be friends. In the meantime, stay far away from me.”

Stephanie sat Indian style on the forward cabin roof. She huddled inside her hooded sweatshirt and squinted into the drizzle. Everything around her was black. There were no stars, no moon, no light from belowdecks. Everyone was asleep, exhausted from an old-fashioned Maine clambake. Tomorrow they’d sail into Camden Harbor and go about their business. Tomorrow she’d hunt up Stanley Shelton and get her toilet fixed. And Sunday she’d sleep until noon. She saw a shadow move at the other end of the ship and realized Ivan was also on deck and watching her. She had mixed feelings about that. He hadn’t done anything but watch her for three days. It wasn’t any secret he was lying low. Of course, that was exactly what she’d ordered him to do, but it didn’t sit well all the same.