“I want you to make love to me,” Mari whispered. “Can we have today?”

Glenn couldn’t imagine refusing her. Not when the merest touch of Mari’s fingertips, the brush of her breath over her skin, set her ablaze. She’d barely slept three hours in a row all week. She ached for her, and nothing she could do would put out the flames. A day? An hour? Hell, she would’ve begged for five minutes.

“Yes,” Glenn said hoarsely, knowing she was playing with fire a hell of a lot more dangerous than anything she’d faced in her life. Mari wanted to carve out a chunk of time and set it aside, as if it wasn’t really part of her life, as if that would keep her safe. Keep Glenn safe, somehow. But Mari didn’t know there was no way to ever be safe. Glenn didn’t care—she’d learned to stop caring about safety a long time ago. “Now?”

“Oh yes. Now.”

Chapter Twenty-four

Glenn clasped Mari’s hand as they threaded their way through the crowd and left the commons behind. She kept her grasp loose, giving Mari a chance to pull away if she wanted, giving her a chance to leave if she needed to, if she changed her mind. Her heart hammered and she tried not to think about Mari walking away. Switching off her brain was something she’d had a lot of practice with, in the midst of battle, out on the field or in the emergency room. She could run on autopilot, all her senses alert and finely tuned, locking her emotions away while she fought death. Sometimes keeping the pain and anger and despair locked away meant locking everything else away too, a fair price to pay so she could do her job. She couldn’t seem to manage autopilot with Mari, though.

The Kevlar casing surrounding her heart was cracked wide open, letting feelings in and, maybe even worse, feelings out. Longing for Mari burned inside her chest, created an ache in the pit of her stomach, kept her restless and awake all night. But just like that, the touch of Mari’s hand, her smile, her laughter banished the ache and replaced it with something sweeter. Something she’d never experienced and never thought she needed. A taste of honey in the desert.

“I’m not going to change my mind,” Mari said softly.

Glenn smiled wryly. “How come you can read my mind?”

“How come you can read mine?” Mari shot back gently.

Glenn glanced at her. “I don’t know. It just happened.”

Mari nodded. “I know what you mean. Maybe some things there are no answers to.”

“What do we do, then?” Glenn mused, trying to see over the horizon and finding only shadows. “When there are no answers?”

“Maybe we just believe.”

“Can you do that?”

“I wish I could,” Mari said softly, striving for honesty because Glenn deserved that. “Until a year ago, I believed without question in so many things. In the unconditional love of my family, in my place in the world, in my future. Now all those things have changed. I’m not sure when or if I’ll be able to believe again.”

Glenn hadn’t really expected anything different. Mari had said in a million ways that she’d lost faith, lost trust, lost believing. Two years she’d said, as if setting some kind of milestone that she needed to reach, as if when she got there all those feelings would suddenly be switched on again. Glenn didn’t think that would happen. She’d thought her faith and trust and hope had been switched off forever, but Mari had changed that. She didn’t mind as much as she thought she might. She might not be happy about that tomorrow, but today was all that mattered. For now.

“I’m going to need to take a shower,” Mari said as she walked down the alley to Glenn’s apartment. “I came straight from the hospital and thought I was going right home. Do you mind?”

“No,” Glenn said. “I’m not going anywhere either.”

“Good,” Mari said softly. She paused at the landing outside Glenn’s door. “What changed your mind?”

“A lot of things.” Glenn leaned against the building next to the door, put her hands in her pockets, watched the heat waves rise off the blacktop in the parking lot. “I didn’t get a whole lot of sleep this week—I couldn’t stop thinking about how much I wanted to see you. How much I wanted to touch you again.”

Mari wanted to smile. She liked hearing Glenn had been almost as miserable as she’d been. “Is that why you stayed away from the ER?”

“Partly.” Glenn shrugged. “I figured you didn’t want to see me.”

“You were wrong.” Mari leaned close enough to tap a fingertip to Glenn’s chest. “I was hurt at first—”

“Cripes, I’m sorry,” Glenn said.

“At first. I’m fine now—I understand why you backed off. I probably would have too, right then. I did tell you I didn’t want to get involved, and under the circumstances, you respected that.”

“And today?”

“Today is today.” Mari tapped her again. “Can we agree on that right now?”

Glenn nodded. “I don’t plan on changing my mind either.”

“Good.” She shivered despite the blazing weather. “Can we go inside?”

Glenn grabbed her hand. “Hell, yes.”

Once inside, Glenn showed her where the bathroom was and handed her clean towels. “Take your time, there’s plenty of hot water.”

Mari gave her a long look. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to make this part quick.”

Glenn’s heart did that rapid-fire machine-gun thing in her chest again and she actually had to work to catch her breath. “Do you need anything else? Something to drink? Something to eat?”

Mari held the folded towels against her chest and moved closer, wrapping her free hand around the back of Glenn’s neck. She tugged her head down and kissed her, a slow, smoldering, smoky kiss that scorched Glenn’s nerve endings all the way to the tips of her fingers and the soles of her feet. She was surprised she didn’t burst into flame like a rocket flare. She groaned against Mari’s mouth.

“I don’t need anything except more of that,” Mari whispered against Glenn’s lips.

“Then it would be good if you’d hurry,” Glenn murmured.

Mari paused at the door. Should she invite Glenn into the shower with her? Wasn’t that what people did when they were trying to seduce a new lover? She didn’t know, but for some reason, she wanted their first touch to be in bed, when they were stretched out beside each other, when they wouldn’t have to stop and move again until she’d been able to explore every curve and plane of Glenn’s body. Until she’d had Glenn on top of her, touching her everywhere. Summoning her courage, she said as firmly as she could, “I’d like it if you waited for me in bed.”

“I can do that.”

“Naked.”

The top of Glenn’s head was about to explode. Her hands trembled as she slid them around Mari’s waist and kissed her throat. “I’m going to be going crazy until you come back.”

Mari tilted her head back and laughed. She loved the control Glenn gave her, and she’d never had the slightest idea that was a possibility, that she wanted to have a woman go crazy for her. Nothing she’d ever read, nothing she’d ever heard, nothing she’d ever imagined had been so wildly freeing and so incredibly empowering as Glenn’s desire for her. Her nipples tightened and she throbbed deep inside. She needed to hurry as well, while she could still think. “Two minutes. You can time me.”

Glenn chuckled. “Starting now?”

Mari gave her a little push toward the bed. “Start counting.”

Glenn stripped by the side of the bed, pulled down the covers, and was thankful she hadn’t slept much in the last few days. The sheets were fresh and though the air was hot, with the windows open, enough of a breeze stole through to keep them comfortable until sometime in the afternoon. If Mari was still there by then.

Glenn pushed away thoughts of later and lay down, naked, exposed. With other women, the sex had been perfunctory if heated, sometimes impersonal, sometimes friendly. What she wanted now was something far different. She wanted to touch as deeply as she could, and she needed to let herself be touched. Mari deserved that.

The bathroom door opened and Mari appeared, her hair damp and a towel wrapped around her body. “How did I do?”

Glenn pushed up on her elbows. “I think you broke a record.”

“Stay right there. Don’t move.”

Glenn sent her a quizzical look but followed orders. Mari took in Glenn’s naked form. Felt her breath rush out and gasped to pull it back. Glenn was all long lines of muscle and, surprisingly, curves where they ought to be, all of her subtly beautiful.

Mari stopped worrying about whether she would know what to do when the time came. Stopped worrying if she’d made the right decision. Let fear and uncertainty evaporate in the day’s heat like the drops of water from her flushed skin. She loosed the towel and smiled inwardly when Glenn jerked and her eyes took on that dark, intense focus. Mari took her time crossing to the bed, feeling her breasts tighten and lift, her nipples pebble despite the temperature. Excitement raged through her. By the time she reached her, Glenn had shifted until she was sitting on the side of the bed as she had been the very first time they’d kissed here. She opened her thighs and pulled Mari between them, pressing her cheek to Mari’s bare midriff. Skin on skin, fire to flame.

Mari bit her lip and ran her fingers over Glenn’s shoulders and down her back. She’d never get tired of exploring the strength and power beneath the satiny skin. Glenn’s mouth pressed against her belly and the soft heat moved through her, coalescing between her thighs. When Glenn cupped her buttocks and kissed lower, Mari trembled.

“Your mouth’s incredible, but I need to slow down or I’m afraid this will be over all too soon.”

Glenn looked up at her, grinning. “I’m in no hurry, but I have a hard time keeping my hands off you.”

Mari gripped her shoulders and pushed back gently. “That’s a really good idea. Let’s see how long you can not touch.”