And more than all of that, Stark admitted, Blair Powell was a beautiful, sexually compelling woman and she had a history with her. A very brief history, to be sure, but it was a part of her past that, on balance, she was not sorry to have experienced. So when she looked at the woman next to her all of those things affected her, even if they weren't supposed to.

Even if as a Secret Service agent she wasn't supposed to feel anything at all for the person she guarded, other than responsibility. Maybe she wasn't the best Secret Service Agent because of that, but she knew she probably wasn't going to be able to change. Maybe no one would really notice her failings. At least the Commander trusted her as Egret's primary protector, and that was really all that mattered.

Blair watched the moonlight flutter across Stark's features and watched, too, the kaleidoscope of emotions-not all of which she understood but some which she clearly recognized. Fondly, she smiled again. "So, checking in with Mac, were you?"

"Um-"

"Never mind, Stark, Blair said, taking pity on her. «I know it wasn't Mac, because I know your tone of voice when you talk to him. How is Renee anyhow?"

"She's good, I guess," Starks said glumly.

"You guess? What's wrong?"

"They're letting her out of the hospital in a day or so."

"That's wonderful," Blair exclaimed, leaning both elbows on the railing so that she and Stark both faced the bay far below. "That's a lot sooner than expected, isn't it?"

"Yeah, and that's the problem. She's already talking about when she'll be going back to work."

"Why am I my not surprised?"

"Huh?"

"Never mind," Blair said with a sigh. "I can't imagine that she'll be able to go back to work right away, even if she wants to. Don't worry too much-she's going to need physical therapy, right?"

"Yeah, she is. Still, I'm sure she'll figure out a way to get a desk job even if she can't get back to field duty right away."

"You know, Stark," Blair said pointedly, "most of you on my team probably shouldn't even be working right now, so you might try to put yourself in Savard's position."

Genuinely perplexed, Stark turned her head to meet Blair's eyes. "What are you talking about? None of us were hurt."

"Jesus. Is it a requirement that all Secret Service agents be blockheads?"

Stark stiffened at Blairs criticism, ready to defend her colleagues, but before she could get a word out, Blair continued.

"We're not just talking about physical injury, although god knows, Cam should probably still be on sick leave."

"Is the Commander ill? Stark asked with sudden, genuine concern.

"Nothing she would admit to, but the point is, shewas hurt. And all of you lost a colleague and had two others injured. It could have been any one of you. That kind of thing hurts, too."

"It comes with the job, Ms. Powell," Stark said, suddenly somber and suddenly sounding years older.

"Yes," Blair replied, likewise subdued, with noticeable sympathy in her voice this time. "I guess it does."

Very briefly, in an unusual movement for her, Blair squeezed Stark's forearm, then brought her hand back to the railing in front of her. "At any rate, I don't imagine that Savard is going to be any different than the rest of you, but hopefully she'll be sensible enough not to push for anything too physical until she's ready."

"The one good thing is that she's going to be staying with her sister in New York City while she recovers," Stark explained, the enthusiasm back in her voice. "So if she does get an assignment, it will most likely be in the local field office, at least temporarily."

"Ah-so she'll be nearby then."

"Yeah. She will."

Blair couldn't miss the note of excitement in the young agent's voice, and she couldn't help feeling just a twinge of jealousy. Because Renee Savard and Paula Stark were free to explore whatever was happening between them and to do it with all the joy and anticipation of any two people who might be falling in love. It was something she had never had the opportunity to do.

Now shewas in love-hopelessly, achingly, desperately in love-and she still found the joy tinged with sadness, and sometimes anger. It was 3:00 in the morning and she had just left her lover's arms because she could not awaken with her, even in one of the safest places in the world.

Chapter Thirteen

At 7:30 the next morning, Cam walked into the kitchen and headed directly for the coffeepot. She helped herself and carried the mug out onto the rear deck, taking advantage of the rare morning sunshine and unusually clear sky. Even in summer, fog was the norm on a San Francisco morning.

At the sound of the door sliding open, the woman standing at the rail turned in her direction.

"Good morning," Cam said. She leaned a shoulder against the open door frame and sipped her coffee, taking a moment to appreciate the sunlight on her lover's face.

"Good morning," Blair said quietly, leaning back with an arm outstretched on either side of her body, her hands curled over the top rail.

"Mind company?"

"Not yours", Blair rejoined with a smile.

Cam crossed the deck to join her, quickly surveying the densely shrubbed rear property down to the street, which was barely visible as it fell steeply away below them.

"Felicia is down there somewhere," Blair noted as she watched Cam do a perimeter scan. "Its her shift."

Cam merely nodded, watching until she saw the faint shadow of her agent move across her view. Satisfied, she turned to the woman beside her. "How are you?

"Better than I was yesterday morning at this time," Blair answered, a husky tone in her voice. "Im contentfor the moment."

"AndI'm sorry," Cam replied with a laugh. "I fell asleep-"

"Don't apologize. First of all you needed it," Blair admonished. "Second of all, it makes me feel like a stud."

"Huh...I'm wondering just how to take that. Does that mean that I'mnot ?"

Blair met her eyes, noting with relief that the shadows beneath them were rapidly fading and that the pain which Cam thought she couldn't see was gone as well. "Oh no, Commander. Your stud credentials are well intact."

"That's good to know," Cam said, grinning. She leaned on the rail and worked on her coffee, allowing her mind to drift in the postcard-perfect view. Eventually she asked, "Have you seen my wayward mother this morning?"

"I certainly wouldn't expect to-not this early. Not if I read the situation with Giancarlo correctly."

"I believe you did, Cam agreed with a fond smile. «If she's not back by this afternoon, I'll call her before we depart for the airport."

"I'll be sorry to leave here," Blair said quietly.

Cam moved her left hand along the rail until it covered Blair's right. Their shoulders were nearly touching, but only someone on the deck with them could have seen the movement. Automatically, their fingers entwined, thumbs brushing over the tops of each other's hand.

"Yes, so will I. I've been here before, but it takes being here with you to realize how beautiful it is. Being with you makes the entire world look different."

For a moment, Blair was speechless. It was one of those times when Cam took her completely by surprise, and it was just the way she had always imagined that being in love would feel. She had just never imagined she would feel it herself. "We don't have to leave that feeling here, do we?"

Cam met her gaze again, marveling at the myriad shades of blue that moved in the depths of her lover's eyes. "No. We don't. Let's make sure we don't."

"Cam, I..."

At that moment, the cell on Cam's belt vibrated. Grimacing, she said, "Sorry," as she pulled it off and flipped it open. Turning slightly away, she answered, "Roberts."

Something about the way Cam's shoulders stiffened nearly imperceptibly caught Blair's attention. Ordinarily she barely noticed these frequent calls from an agent checking-in or an intelligence update being relayed to Cam, they were so much a part of her life. Now she found herself listening without really intending to.

"Where are you calling from?...You're sure?...When?...Are you allrig...No. Not for a day or so...Yes...Yes...I'll find you...Okay...Yes. Good."

"Problem?" Blair asked as Cam terminated the call. She was certain that Cam had been timing the conversation.

"No," Cam said automatically, her eyes cloudy, her voice distant as she moved back to the rail. She met Blair's eyes and saw the disbelief in them. She let out a long sigh as she raked a hand through her hair. "I'm not sure. Maybe."

"Is it something to do with the action in New York?"

"No. It's personal."

Blair tried to keep her face expressionless as the words registered.Personal. Personal as in personal callas in something that is none of your business. As inwhata lover ?Why not-we never talked about being exclusive.

"Oh," Blair finally replied. "Sorry."

She started to turn away, gathering her coffee mug and the book she'd carried out onto the deck earlier, when Cam's hand on her arm stopped her.

"Blair...it's not what you're thinking."

"You have no idea what I'm thinking," Blair answered, her voice low-pitched and controlled. Too controlled. She kept her gaze averted because she didn't want Cam to see the hurt in them.Stupid. Jesus, Blair. Grow up!

"All right then," Cam allowed softly, her fingers still curled around Blair's forearm, "incase you might have gotten the idea that it was a ...romantic issue...it wasn't."