Sophie Oak - Lost in Bliss

Her blonde hair shook, but she didn’t bother to turn around. “This isn’t about what happened to me. This is about you and Cam. Neither one of you can be happy here. It isn’t in you.”

“Really?” Cam asked, his bitterness dripping. “I’m such a city boy. I’ve never lived in the country.”

“You hated it,” Laura pointed out.

“No, I hated the small-minded attitudes that put my mother at the bottom of the social feeding order. I love the country. I love the peace and quiet, and if you think you can force me to leave, you’re wrong.

You might not want me, but by god, you’ll see me. I’m not leaving. If I find this magical, mystical woman who can complete me by spitting out my kids and proving her womb works, then you’ll have to watch.

You’ll have to watch me make a life for myself here and know that it could have been yours. Baby, I can’t tell you how much I wish I could change what happened. If I could give my fucking life to have spared you that, I would. I made a horrible mistake and you paid for it, but I’m here now. I’ve gotten on my knees and begged forgiveness. I can’t do any more than tell you that I love you, and I’ll try my damndest to never fail you again. If you can’t forgive me, then you’ll watch me. You’ll watch me live my life here, without you.” Cam pulled in front of Laura’s small cabin. It was tiny and far from Rafe’s traditional level of comfort, yet he’d been happy here briefly. He’d woken up this morning knowing where he belonged—

beside her. Now she was pulling away, and he had the distinct impression that his caveman act wasn’t going to work this time. He could force her to Vegas, but he couldn’t make her marry him. He couldn’t make her accept him. Fuck, he couldn’t force her to forgive him.

Maybe he didn’t deserve forgiveness.

Laura slammed out of the car the instant it stopped. She walked to her door and disappeared behind it. Rafe felt like someone had shredded his insides. He threw open the car door and got out, utterly unsure of what to do next. He couldn’t leave. He thought briefly about walking in after her, throwing her down, and fucking her until she admitted that she loved them, but that wouldn’t work in the long run.

She would just go back to her self-martyrdom as soon as the flush of orgasm faded.

And was it just that? She hadn’t forgiven him. Not even close.

He walked, unsure of where he was going. The early evening air was crisp though it was technically still summer. The grass at his feet was a lush green and sprinkled with wild flowers. Reds and whites and blues and purples dotted the carpet of grass as he walked closer to the river. He stared down at the Rio Grande. It looked deep and cold.

It flowed on endlessly.

How the fuck was he supposed to deal with this? Her pain was his fault. He’d served her up on a silver platter because his career had meant more to him than her pride.

God, he wanted to take it all back.

“Don’t.” Cam was suddenly beside him. “Don’t give in to it.”

“What are you talking about?” Rafe asked, but he thought he knew.

“The guilt. It doesn’t solve anything, brother. I feel the weight of it. I feel it every time I look at that scar on her belly. We fucked up.

We can’t let it affect the rest of our lives.”

“I don’t see why not. It affects the rest of hers.”

“Only because she’s letting it. I meant what I said. I love her. I won’t leave her again. If that means I’m a deputy in a small town, then that’s what I’ll be. If my penance for failing her is never touching her again, then I’ll stand back and protect her from afar, but I don’t think she’ll resist for long. When I was in the office with her, there wasn’t some horrible guilt between us.” Rafe hadn’t felt it. All he’d felt was his connection to her. But then she’d rejected him.

Cam put a hand on Rafe’s shoulder. “I don’t think you should leave, either.”

Rafe was surprised at that. “Why? If I left, you could have her all to yourself.”

“And be alone? I don’t think so. She’s a hell of a woman. I think it takes two to handle her.”

Emotion choked Rafe, and he finally fucking understood. This was why it could work. This pain he felt was halved because Cam took some of it. If Cam was here with him, then he was never alone.

Cam would be beside him. A strange sense of love and gratitude flooded Rafe’s system. Love? Damn. He shouldn’t think that way about his best friend, but then again—why the fuck not? He didn’t want to jump Cam. He had zero desire to have anything physical with the man. But maybe love was a lot of different things. Maybe love was a word that defied simple explanation.

Family. That was another one of those words that he wasn’t sure of anymore. His family, it seemed, was outside the norm.

“Stay with me,” Cam said. “We can get her back. I know we can.” Rafe nodded, far too emotional to speak. He wasn’t leaving. Not when he’d just found his home.

Laura felt like a freak on display. She’d tried to take a seat in the back, but Holly had shown up and pulled her to the front, explaining that the only reason she wasn’t onstage was that Nate had told everyone he didn’t want to put her on display.

Nice to know Nate Wright was on the job.

She groaned inwardly at herself. She was in a terrible mood.

She’d been sitting in this chair for an hour while Nate went over what was happening with the rest of the town. At some point, she’d noticed that Joe, Brad, and Edward had filed in, but they had kept to themselves.

The fact that everyone knew about her past rankled. She wouldn’t be proud, strong, competent Laura Niles anymore. She would be that victim, Laura Rosen.

Nate had gone over the facts of the case and what to look for.

Everyone was supposed to be on the lookout for suspicious behavior.

Everyone was supposed to stick together. There was a lot of talk about how Bliss had come through time and time again. Laura had felt a bit numb through it all. The only thing that had warmed her was the way Cam and Rafe encircled her. Even though she wasn’t talking to them, she appreciated their presence. What the hell was she going to do if she couldn’t get them to leave?

She wanted them. God, it welled up inside her until she almost couldn’t breathe.

At least they had gotten to the fun part of the evening. Open forum always brought up her spirits.

“You have got to make a law or something,” Max Harper was saying, his voice all growly and taciturn as he faced the small group onstage.

Cam sat on one side of her and Rafe on the other. Despite her locking them out, they had been standing there waiting for her when she emerged to go to the meeting at town hall. They hadn’t said a word, simply opened the door to the car. She’d decided not to be stupid. Taking her own battered Jeep would have been an act of defiance. If de Sade was stalking, she shouldn’t be alone, and calling Holly or Nell into it seemed like a dumb thing to do.

Cam leaned across her to talk to Rafe. “Is he talking about what I think he’s talking about?”

Laura couldn’t miss the way Rafe’s lips quirked. “I believe he is.”

“It’s a natural process, Max,” Rachel shouted, proving she didn’t need a microphone. “How the hell else am I supposed to feed our baby?”

Hiram, Bliss’s elderly mayor, leaned forward and spoke into his microphone. “Max, this seems like something private between you and your wife.”

“Oh, I wish it was private,” Max shot back. “If it was private, I wouldn’t be standing here, but my wife’s boobs are everywhere now.

I would like to see a show of hands of the people who have been treated to the sight of my wife’s nipples.” No one took that bait. Laura figured Max would have written down some names for a future ass kicking.

“I’m feeding the baby!” Rachel argued. “I don’t know what your problem is, Max. Rye is fine with it.” There was a tap on Laura’s shoulder. She turned around to where Jen Waters sat with Stef Talbot. Jen’s eyes were lit with mirth, while Stef watched the proceedings with the lazy amusement of a king being brilliantly entertained. “I brought chocolate-covered peanuts.

Want some?”

Laura couldn’t help but smile. “You knew about this particular topic?”

Jen nodded. “Oh, yeah, Rachel is sick of using the privacy blanket when she breast-feeds in public. Paige doesn’t like it. So she’s just started plopping that sucker out whenever Paige cries. Max walked into Stella’s the other day and just about had a heart attack. I also know something else.”

Stef’s eyes narrowed. “Are you about to gossip, love?” Jen flushed a little. “No. It’s not going to be a secret in about thirty seconds.”

Rye Harper approached the microphone. He walked up to his brother and placed a hand on his shoulder as though about to calm his twin down as he so often did. He leaned forward. “I’m with Max on this one.”

“Rye Harper!”

“We decided our marriage was a democracy a long time ago, baby,” Rye replied. “We’re outvoting you.” Nell stood, her pretty face red with indignation. She brought her own microphone up. “I am making an announcement. I intend to back Rachel in this horrible affront to her rights as a mother. As long as Rachel’s freedom to do something as gentle and pure as making sure her child is fed is being taken from her, I cannot stand in silence.”

“Oh, shit,” Laura said as Nell’s hand went to the bottom of her T-shirt. Laura had a pretty damn good idea what was about to happen.

She pulled the T-shirt over her head. “My breasts will be free.