Sophie Oak - Lost in Bliss

“Yes, and that’s what it is—the past.” It wasn’t going any further. It didn’t matter that her libido had come back online for the first time in years. For five long and lonely years, she’d had nothing but her vibrator. Even that hadn’t gotten much use. At first, she’d tried because she wanted to make sure everything still worked. Her parts functioned, but her heart wasn’t in it. The only times she’d worked herself up to a froth had been when she thought about them. When she’d pictured Rafe’s handsome face working over her or the way Cam’s shoulders bunched as he climaxed, that was the only time she could really enjoy it.

“You know we found out a lot of things about those two,” Stef said, his voice all smooth and silky. “They appear to have spent an enormous amount of time and money searching for you.”

“They feel guilty.” But the words were starting to ring a little hollow.

Laura let her eyes seek them out. They stood together talking.

Rafe looked intent on what Cam was saying. They had always been an odd partnership. Rafe was the big-city hottie who understood fine wine and good clothes. Cam was a backwoods, gorgeous nerd who cared far more about his computer than when a wine was bottled. He liked beer and watched an enormous amount of science-fiction television. Yet they fit together. Somehow, someway, Rafe and Cam had become odd halves of a whole.

Once there had been three pieces to their little puzzle. Had they really missed her? For more than just simple guilt?

Stef’s voice broke through her thoughts. “They put their lives on hold. Can I ask you a question?”

She wanted to say no, but had a feeling Stef would press anyway.

“All right.”

“Did you love one of them?”

Tears clouded her eyes as she shook her head.

Stef nodded. “That’s what I thought. You loved both of them.” Her throat felt far too small. She couldn’t even manage a yes. She looked at them. Really looked at them. They were older. Rafe had lines across his forehead that hadn’t been there before. There was a little slump to Cam’s shoulders that she didn’t remember. She had missed them. God, she had missed them so much.

They started to walk toward her. She took a short step back, but the stage was behind her.

“You could run again.” Stef didn’t sound enthused about that choice.

“No.” She was done running. She had found her home.

“Then I want you to think about what you were looking for when you came to Bliss. You were looking for a second chance.” She had been looking for a place to hide. “They hurt me, Stef.

They just about killed me.”

She could have sworn his eyes misted for a moment before he spoke. “We do that sometimes. We do it to the people we love the most. We do it precisely because we love them. I know you’re scared.

In the end, this is all the time we have. I would take it if I were you. I would take it and milk it for every moment it’s worth, and if it all falls apart, at least you have a home now and people whom you can always count on. Holly will stand by you, and Nell will protest at their front doors if they hurt you again.”

She couldn’t help but laugh a little at the thought. She had never had friends the way she had them here. And she’d never loved the way she had with Rafe and Cam. What if she could have it all? Even if only for a few days?

Stef leaned in. “It’s better to hurt because you tried with every ounce of your soul than it is to regret not trying. My wife taught me that.”

“She isn’t your wife yet.” The wedding was still a few days away.

“Oh, but she is. I see now that she was always my wife. She’s the other half of my soul. The wedding is just a party. The marriage is already well under way. It was rocky in the beginning, but I wouldn’t change it.” Stef took a step back as Rafe and Cam walked up to them.

Cam strode up like an angry bull, his eyes assessing Stef the way he would a perp in an interrogation room. “What did you say to her?” Rafe was all about her. His hands found her shoulders. “Bella, you’re crying. Are you all right?”

Rafe’s hands on her felt wonderful, but she was worried that Cam was about to start a fight. She moved between them. “He was saying that I should dance with you. It’s only fair. I danced with Rafe.” Cam turned, his attention shifting from Stef to her in the blink of an eye. “What?”

He stared down at her like he couldn’t quite believe what she’d said. And his eyes weren’t exactly on her face. A little laugh escaped.

That was Cam. He wasn’t good at hiding what he felt or wanted. He’d never been able to play the games he needed to play to move up with the Bureau. Rafe had smoothed the way for him because they were friends. She loved the fact that Cam almost never had a mask on.

She reached out and took his hand. “I said I would like my dance now.”

He nodded. “Okay.”

She had to lead him to the dance floor. He shuffled behind her, an almost shy look on his face. She moved to the center and stepped close to him, putting her arms around his neck. His handsome face turned mulishly stubborn.

“If this is some trick, you should know that I’m not leaving. You can’t say that you gave me my dance and now I have to go. If you think that you can send me back to DC after one measly dance, then you don’t know me.”

She laid her head against his chest. It felt so good to hear the beat of his heart. “I know you, Cameron Briggs. I would have to get a tow truck to haul your ass out of town if you didn’t want to go. I just wanted to dance.”

Slowly, his arms came up and surrounded her. He clutched her like he was afraid she would slip away. “I missed you, baby. I missed you so much.”

“I missed you, too, bella.” Suddenly Rafe was right behind her.

He stepped in, and his arms circled her waist. He was careful to move in time with Cam, and soon they were swaying to the music. All three of them were dancing together, the men forming a protective circle around her.

“Well, that was fast. It didn’t take those two long to move in once the truth was out,” Holly said as she danced with Pastor Dennis, who ran the Feed Store Church.

She felt Rafe stiffen and start to move back.

Laura took a deep breath, thinking about Stef’s words, and let her hand drift around to Rafe’s waist to keep him close. He moved back in.

Pastor Dennis took it all with a smile on his face. “All good things flow from admitting the truth with an open heart.”

“Not all of them,” Holly grumbled.

“Crap, what happened with Caleb?” Laura tried to look around, but she couldn’t see the doctor.

Holly shrugged. “Same old, same old. I asked him if he wanted to go back to my place so we could talk, and he suddenly remembered some very important surgery he had scheduled. For tonight. Without a nurse. Or a hospital. I give up on him. I’m going to satisfy myself with my prison love letters.”

Holly gave her a sad smile as the pastor danced her away.

Poor Holly. Caleb was breaking her heart, and they had never even gone out. Would Holly be happier if she had at least gotten to be intimate with the man who hurt her? Would she regret it? Or would she do what Stef had said and forgive herself and be happy that at least she had tried?

“Did you come back for the case?” She didn’t pull her head from Cam’s chest. She simply asked the question and prayed they had the right answer.

Cam’s head touched the top of her own. “I don’t care about the case anymore. Don’t get me wrong. I want to kill him for what he did to you, but I’m here because I’m crazy about you, Laura Rosen or Niles, or whatever you call yourself.” Rafe breathed against her neck, the warmth reassuring. “We’re here for you, bella. Nothing else. We talked about the case because we thought it would force you to spend time with us. We’ve been looking for you for years because we don’t want to live without you.” Well, that was a pretty fine answer. Tears in her eyes, she stopped dancing, disentangled herself, and started toward the parking lot.

She’d gotten ten feet when she realized they weren’t following. She turned, and they looked like lost puppies.

“I’m going home. I thought we could talk better at my place. Do you want to come home with me?” It was as plainly as she could put it. She wanted them. Life was too short to not try. If it all went bad, she would always have Bliss. She and Holly could be nuns together.

Maybe Alexei had a friend in witness protection who needed some letter loving.

But before she tried that, she was going to have at least one more shot with the two who had gotten away.

They ran to catch up, each taking one of her hands as they walked into the night.

Cam slid into the back of the SUV beside Laura, his hips brushing against hers.

Rafe turned the engine on, though Cam could see plainly through the windshield mirror that he wasn’t thrilled with driving.

Cam didn’t care. He wasn’t about to let her sit by herself. She’d invited them back to her place. Cam wasn’t exactly sure what that meant relationship-wise, but the look in her eyes had dared him to try.

He wouldn’t turn down that challenge.

Rafe turned the key in the ignition, and the SUV purred to life.

“You need to take a left on the highway to get back to the valley.” Laura sat forward, her body bending over.

“I know how to get to your place.” Rafe’s voice was flat. His whole body betrayed his lack of enthusiasm for the current seating situation. Cam had been faster. He’d tossed Rafe the keys and climbed in the back with Laura. It was only fair. Rafe had gotten to dance with her first. “I can be there very quickly.” Cam didn’t need a long time. He had her to himself for the time it took to get from point A to point B. He wasn’t going to waste a minute.