Jill Shalvis - Long-Lost Mom

Not for a woman he sensed was deeply troubled and far too vulnerable. Not for a woman who didn’t know he had commitments in his life he could never turn away from, including the short pigtailed grinning one standing next to him.

“Daddy-” Sara didn’t sit, but shifted eagerly from one foot to another, her hand held out, palm up “-can I have some money while we wait for the pizza? Pretty please?”

“Why? So you can lose it all in the arcade over there?”

“I won’t lose.” Sara’s bony shoulders straightened with pride. “You taught me how, remember?”

Caught, Stone reached into his pockets. “Stay where I can see you, okay?”

“Daddy-”

“Just do it, sport I’ll call you when the pizza gets here.” He handed her a fistful of change he knew would last all of ten minutes and watched her race off with the abandon of youth, his heart contracting with that odd mixture of bittersweet pride and love.

Cindy watched Sara, too, her expression filled with a longing so acute it took Stone’s breath away. “Cindy?”

The woman sitting across from him didn’t move, just kept watching his daughter with that haunted expression on her face, making him wonder what she could possibly be thinking. It wasn’t happiness that had her so lost to him, not with that much pain in her expression, and he hoped she hadn’t once lost a child.

“Cindy.” It was as if she’d forgotten her name, which was ridiculous of course. Finally he reached across the table and removed her sunglasses, smiling when she seemed to nearly leap out of her skin. “You okay?”

She blinked and flushed. “Your daughter’s remarkable.”

“Yes, and expensive,” Stone said dryly, hoping to tease her out of whatever had disturbed her.

“She’s worth it.”

Her eyes were very dark, almost black, their rims reddened. “Are you a mom?”

“I…no.” Shaking her head, she said more firmly, “No. I’m not.”

The crazy urge to wrap his arms around her was strong, but it was far too soon for that. She didn’t wear a ring, although he knew that was no guarantee she was single. “Is there…someone…?” Lord, he felt awkward. He’d been off the dating track too long.

“There’s no one,” she said softly, staring at her hands as if they held the greatest interest

“Me, either,” he said, smiling when she shot him a look of profound relief. “And you have plenty of time left to have a child when you’re ready.”

Her smile turned rueful. “Am I that obvious?”

“Not at all. I just saw a flash of longing… Well, it takes a parent to recognize it.”

“You make a great father. I mean-” clearly embarrassed, she clenched her fingers together on the table “-you must be so proud.”

He was, but he refused to get caught in the easy trap of light conversation. Not when he was brimming with curiosity he couldn’t seem to ignore. “So, what is it that brings you to San Paso Bay?”

Again a quick flash of unease, almost fear, crossed her face. “I’m going to start a temp agency.”

Automatically reacting to her fear, Stone’s gaze scanned the crowd until he found Sara, safely playing, then he gave his attention back to Cindy. “In this little town?”

She lifted her chin, looking touchingly haughty and uncertain at the same time. “You don’t have one yet, you know. And neither Morro Heights nor El Tara, the two neighboring towns, have one, either. Which means there’s plenty of business.”

She spoke as if she had to convince him. “Okay.”

“I’ve researched carefully, and all three towns have plenty of growing industry. Actually the want ads are overwhelming. There’s enough to keep me busy.”

“I think it sounds good.”

“You do?”

He had no idea why that slight wobble in her voice so touched him. “You’ll do great.”

“I want to settle here-permanently.”

“It’s a nice place to live.”

“And raise kids?”

“Yes. Definitely. It’s a quiet safe town.”

“So safe you have to warn your daughter to stay in sight in a pizza joint filled with people you know?”

Damn, he hadn’t expected to be faced with his own fears, fears that went back ten years to a woman and to an event so horrifying it still dictated how he treated his daughter’s safety. “Maybe I’m just an overprotective parent.”

She gave him a long look. “The sad fact is, no town is completely safe.” Her weary tone said she knew that all too well. Her hands, active only a moment before, settled on the table. “There’s always trouble,” she said quietly. “And it can happen anywhere.”

Of course it was true, and how well he knew it. Even in San Paso Bay, bad things happened. It’d been a while since he’d dwelled on the scandal that had nearly destroyed him, that had driven the only woman he’d ever loved right out of his life. The circumstances had been out of their control, a cruelty from a most unexpected place, but it had happened and nothing could change it.

Jenna was long gone now. She’d not had enough belief in justice to see the crisis through. That, combined with the problem of getting pregnant too young, had made her fall apart.

Stone didn’t blame her for getting pregnant or even for the need to run. But he did blame her for not trusting him or herself enough to let their love prevail.

“I think it depends on your attitude,” he said carefully, “and how hard you try. If you’re looking for a new start, this is a great place to do it. Do you have family?”

She dropped her gaze, studied the tabletop. “Family?”

“As in people related to you?”

“Not really.”

“You’re so talkative,” he said, grinning.

She looked at him, startled, and finally seemed to realize he was teasing her. A reluctant smile tugged at her lips. “Okay, let me rephrase that,” she offered. “Yes, technically I have family. But we don’t act like family. Does that clear things up?”

If she’d asked him the same thing, his answer wouldn’t have been much different. Yes, he had family. But they didn’t want to be part of his life.

Simple as that.

“Clear as mud,” he said. “Where do you come from?”

She crossed her arms. Then, as if realizing what that gave away, she uncrossed them, making him smile sympathetically. She frowned at him in response. “You’re full of questions. And I don’t like to talk about myself.”

Maybe she’d been alone all her life, which would account for the way she protected herself. By keeping people at bay, she couldn’t get hurt.

He understood the philosophy. At one time, deserted by everyone he’d ever cared about, he might have gone down that same path. He hadn’t, partly because he was an innate people person. But mostly, despite what had happened to him, he believed people were basically good.

Maybe Cindy hadn’t learned that, and at the thought of someone hurting her, his chest tightened. He wanted her; he had from the first moment he’d seen her. But now that wanting changed, deepened into something else. Something sharper and more defined.

He wanted to protect her, and the fierceness of this desire was startling. Oh, he’d wanted women before, lots of them; it was just that never, since Jenna, had he felt it quite so piercingly. He didn’t stop to think about the significance of that; he simply absorbed it with his usual acceptance of change.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” she whispered.

“Like what?”

“Like…you care.”

They stared at each other. “Because I do,” Stone finally said. “I look at you and I feel… something. I didn’t like it at first, which is why I took off on you at the beach. But now-now it makes me want to keep caring.”

Her mouth opened, then slowly closed. “You’re scaring me.”

“Well, that makes two of us,” he said.

“I don’t want this,” Cindy told him, shifting nervously. “I don’t want you to think I matter.”

“But you do matter.”

“I don’t…I shouldn’t,” she said, sounding a bit desperate.

“Of course you should.”

She stared at him, soaking it in. A disparaging sound escaped her. “Stone…”

He loved the sound of his name of her lips. Loved it, and wanted to hear it again. “What?”

“What am I doing?” She looked lost, confused. “I just came to watch a basketball game. Just wanted to acclimate myself, and now look at me.” She lifted a bewildered hand. “I’m…”

“You’re what?”

“I’m doing something I shouldn’t, that’s what.”

“Which is?”

“Wanting you.” As soon as the words left her, she slapped both hands over her mouth, her eyes wide and wild. She shook her head violently, as if denying what she’d just admitted. “I didn’t mean… I just meant… I’ve got to go.” She leaped to her feet. “I… Bye.”

Stone caught her just before she would have disappeared into the crowd. “Don’t.”

Her chest rose and fell as if she’d just raced a mile uphill. She glanced down at his hand on her, which he slowly ran down her forearm until their hands met. Hers was slender, delicate, easily swallowed up by his. Entwining their fingers, he squeezed gently. “I didn’t mean to scare you off. You came here to start over, and you’re doing fine. Don’t go yet.”

Her gaze jerked to his. “I never said I was starting over.”

“Aren’t you?”

“Well, yes, but-”

“And now we’ve met and you’re nervous. It’s sweet,” he said, smiling when she blushed. “But you’ll be okay. I know it seems unreal, but you’re not alone. Already you’re not alone.”

She stared at him with something akin to marvel. Again, just looking at her tugged at his heart, made him want to take her in his arms and never let go.

Which made no sense, none at all.

A waitress tried to move past them. Stone sat and pulled Cindy back down, this time in the same side of the booth as him. Their thighs brushed, and he felt his body react at just that innocent touch.