Chapter 12

With grim determination, Stone kept Jenna’s little car in sight. It was hard to think, hard to follow a logical plan of action, and that alone was unusual for him. He gritted his teeth and lay the blame firmly at the feet of the person at fault.

Himself.

Ahead of him, Jenna took a right turn, heading north, and with a bleak resolution, so did Stone. He watched the ocean sparkle off to his left and argued with himself.

Yes, he was still furious at Jenna. Yes, he was still trying to deal with her return to his and Sara’s life. But he had to make sure she got to wherever she was going in one piece, didn’t he?

The hell he did. Still, he didn’t turn around. Images of Cindy floated through his mind.

From the moment she’d come to town she’d been there for him. Never wavering. That was what confused him most. He was used to being on his own, in charge.

Even years before, when Jenna had been in his life, he’d been the one with all the strength and calm. Back then she had depended on him.

This time, however, there’d been a subtle shift, and he was drawn to her as an equal. Drawn also to her loyalty, her warmth and to her surprisingly iron will. She’d been open in a way she’d never been before and strong enough that he could lean on her.

He’d grown to need her. How had that happened?

Ahead of him, Jenna turned again, going up a hill into a quiet but older residential area on the bluffs at the outskirts of town.

Even though she was running-again-he followed. This time was different, for he realized in his heart that he’d long ago forgiven her need to run, just as he’d now forgiven her need to be back.

Yet it still didn’t change the fact that she’d destroyed his trust, and because of that, he found himself holding something back.

Full forgiveness? Maybe. But more likely he wasn’t quite ready to let go of some of his resentment, which didn’t paint him in a flattering light He didn’t care. For the bottom line was that he wasn’t going to allow himself to fall again, no matter how much Jenna drew him in with her lovely solemn eyes, her natural warmth and basic goodness.

Not when he knew damn well he’d end up hurt again.

Jenna’s car slowed, and so did his. He hung back a bit, knowing she might take off if she suspected he was following her. She’d tried to be so brave in front of him when he just knew she was holding it together until she got home, alone, where she could fall apart in peace.

He didn’t want her to cry alone. She’d been alone too long as it was.

The truth hit hard. In spite of everything, in spite of holding a good part of himself back, he still wanted her. She was lovely and intelligent, and she’d gotten herself together, turned herself into the woman he’d always been confident she could be. He had no idea how to resist her, but he had to try. For himself and Sara, he had to try.

She parked in front of a small house on the end of the street, then ran up the walk, her short hair flying. God, he thought, she has no idea about what kind of a woman she’s become.

Knowing he was acting unconsciously, without acknowledging how hurt he still was, he parked and followed her-just to make sure she was okay, he reminded himself.

Jenna didn’t go to the front door. Instead, she turned onto a small path and ran around the house. Opening a fence, she dashed into the backyard.

Stone followed, frowning when he heard a small gasp of breath that sounded like a sob. For such a small house the backyard was huge. The foliage dominated it, and in a matter of two seconds, Jenna had disappeared into a stand of trees.

“Jenna?” Blindly he plunged through the undergrowth and blinked when he came to a small clearing high on the bluff overlooking the ocean. The yard was fenced in, and the view of the Pacific far below was breathtaking. In the center of the clearing sat a lovely wooden table, several chairs and a chaise longue, which Jenna had plopped on, burying her face in her arms.

As a rule Stone was a man who carefully weighed the odds in any given situation. He liked to think of himself as calm and rational at all times.

But all that dissolved when he saw Jenna so devastated. Her slim shoulders shook as she tried to contain the storm ravaging her, and something inside him cracked.

He didn’t stop to think, but just moved forward on instinct, sinking to the chaise. “Jenna.”

She jerked at the touch on her shoulder. “Just me,” he murmured, leaning over her as if he could protect her with his body from the nightmares of the past.

“Go away,” she said in a barely audible voice, keeping her face hidden. “Please.”

“I can’t leave you alone.” Gently he stroked her back, running his hand up and down her spine. “You know I can’t.”

“You already have enough on your shoulders,” came her muffled voice. “You don’t have to take care of me, too.”

“I know. You’re doing a fine job of that on your own. I just…” He paused. “Look at me,” he said softly, when she kept her wet eyes squeezed tight. His hands bracketed her hips as he leaned over her. “Jenna.”

She opened her eyes slowly. “You’re still angry with me.”

“Yeah.” They stared at each other. It became very close and still within the confines of the yard, their own private little forest. Above them, birds chirped and the wind blew lightly, keeping the air cool. Far below, the surf drummed at the foot of the cliffs.

Looking down at Jenna now, Stone could see her so clearly. How could he not have known? With the sun shining in her hair, her mouth trembling, her eyes clinging to his, her…scars. God, her scars.

Lifting a hand, he spread it flat over the web of scars on her neck, covering the worst of them as if he could take away the reality of them.

“I hate thinking you had to go through all that alone,” he said gravely, feeling raw inside. He felt so mixed up, so confused. But he couldn’t deny his need to be with her, to help her. “Hate it. You should have called me to be with you.”

“Stone-I know you must hate me-”

“Shh. I don’t hate you.” Lightly, he danced his fingers over her skin, seeking to do nothing other than ease her lingering pain. He’d take it all away if he could. He needed to soothe her, because he knew she couldn’t do it for herself. Despite all his pent-up emotional uncertainty of the past, his future-hell, his present-he wanted to know Jenna was going to survive this. “I want you to be happy.”

“I don’t deserve to be happy. Not after what I’ve done to you and to Sara.”

“Stop it,” he admonished gently. “I haven’t worked through my own temper and hurt yet-that’s evident enough. But I mean it, Jenna. Your happiness is important to me.”

“You’re too generous,” she said hoarsely. “Far too much so. How do you know I won’t hurt you both again?”

“I don’t.” He met her gaze. He was probably being an idiot, but he let the statement stand because suddenly, he couldn’t bear to hurt her more than she’d already been hurt. “Be kind, will you?”

“I will be,” she promised fervently. “Promise you believe me. Promise me, Stone, that you know I won’t hurt you or Sara ever again.”

His hand stilled on her as he waged a terrible inner battle. He couldn’t lie, he just couldn’t. It simply wasn’t in him to tell anything but the hard, cold truth.

“I believe you mean it,” he said carefully, his hand once again touching her.

Her eyes fluttered closed at the gentle touch, and when she opened them again, she slipped her arms around his neck and tugged, bringing him down, down, to within a hairbreadth of her lips.

She smiled at him. a smile filled with sadness and need and desire and hope. “That’s all I can ask for. I need you.”

“It seems that I need you, too.”

“It feels so good to hold you, Stone.”

Hating that she was right, he pulled her closer, unable to draw away. He had to keep his hands on her, assure himself it was really Jenna.

“Kiss me,” she whispered, pulling him closer still.

Fulfilling this unfailing physical need wasn’t the answer… and yet, he couldn’t resist the pull of her arms, the yearning in her eyes, couldn’t have moved away to save his life. Maybe he couldn’t admit these feelings, but his body didn’t care. It knew where it belonged-with Jenna.

“Kiss me,” she repeated, arching up, flattening her breasts to his chest and causing him to suck in a sharp breath at the delicious feel of her. “Please-”

“Wait.” But despite his best intentions, when her lips touched his, instant heat consumed them. His hands slid up her rib cage, and her hands pulled his shirt out of his pants, then snaked beneath, racing over the bare skin of his back.

“No more secrets between us,” she said breathlessly, dragging her mouth along his exposed throat and making him moan. At the sound she smiled shakily against his skin, but her smile turned into a gasp when he cupped her breasts. “Nothing between us, please, Stone. Nothing but this.”

Helpless not to respond, he ran his hands down her torso, then back up. He understood the need to have nothing between them but skin because he felt it, too. No more secrets, no more lies. But he was torn, so unbelievably torn. And though he knew this would solve nothing, he couldn’t deny the yearning to hold her close. Just for now, just for a moment, he promised himself. “Jenna, I want you, I need you, but you know this isn’t the answer,” he said in one last ditch effort to be strong.

“It is for now. Stone…there’s been no one but you.” Her eyes were bright as she met his gaze. “No one but you has ever made me feel this way. Do you remember how it was between us?”

Perfect, it’d been perfect. “It was a long time ago.”

“Come here,” she murmured, pulling him down. “Please, Stone…” Her hands played over his body, and he couldn’t resist, captive to his own memories, to his own needs.