God, it was her. Jenna.
The woman who’d haunted him for ten long years.
It was impossible to divide the pain and rage; they just mingled, the emotion crushing him until he could hardly breathe.
“You were afraid.” He laughed coldly, even as his heart squeezed at the look of utter dejection on her face. “Not that I believe you, but of what?”
“You” was the wrenching reply.
“You couldn’t have thought I would hurt you-you know better than that,” he said quietly, stung.
“No. I was afraid you’d turn me away.”
“Why would you think that? You’re the one who left.”
“And you know why.”
“Yes. Because you were a coward.”
She flinched and he felt like the biggest jerk on earth, which didn’t improve his temper. “You acted like a child,” he said.
“I was!”
“Not completely.” Stone derived no satisfaction when she blushed and turned away. “You didn’t trust me.”
“Don’t you see?” she cried, throwing up her hands and turning back. “I didn’t trust anyone.”
“What I see,” he said carefully, coming closer, “is someone too wrapped up in herself to care what she did to others when she left.”
Fire spit out her eyes. Fire and tears, which he refused to allow to soften him.
“You’re being unfair, Stone.”
“Am I?” he asked softly, completely unprepared for her taking that last step between them.
Without warning she poked a hard finger into his chest, punctuating each word with a stab. “Don’t you get it? I hated everyone. Everyone. I hated…”
He grabbed her hand, but she just stabbed him with the other. “I hated my mother, my sister…”
Stone caught her other hand and they grappled for a moment, before she collapsed against him completely.
“I hated myself,” she admitted hoarsely. “Just hated myself.”
Trying to remain unmoved was difficult, because he was moved, dammit. And he didn’t want to be. Gripping her upper arms, he held her away from him, unable to deal with the pull of their physical attraction at the same time as all this hot steaming rage. “You ran away, instead of dealing with it. You left us. You forgot about me, about your daughter, and you left.”
She broke away, shoving at him. “Yes. Yes, I ran away. I was a jerk. God! Do you think I need you to remind me?” Plunging her fingers into her short hair, she turned from him. “Not a day has gone by when I haven’t thought of it. When I haven’t wondered how I could have handled it differently, how my life would be now if I had.”
“So what now?” he asked wearily, sinking into a chair. “Why are you here?”
“Well, at least you’re not asking me to leave anymore.” She shot him a hesitant half smile.
“Don’t,” he said, closing his eyes to that hopeful expression on her beautiful face. He couldn’t take it. “Don’t think I’m over it. You lied. You made me feel for you again, dammit, and I didn’t want to.”
“I don’t want you to get over me.”
“I got over what I felt for you as Jenna a long time ago,” he assured her flatly, hardening himself to her pain. “Now tell me the truth for once. Why are you here after all this time? Bored? Or do you just want to mess with some more lives?”
She looked at him through tears and regret, and again he had to remind himself to remain unmoved. This wasn’t Cindy, the woman he had thought he was falling in love with. This was Jenna, the woman he’d sworn never to forgive.
“I want to right my wrongs.”
“You want in on Sara’s life.”
“That, too.”
“No,” he said firmly, shaking his head and tightening his jaw until his teeth hurt. “No way.”
Her mouth worked, but it took a moment for her to get the words out. “Why not?”
“You’ll hurt her-”
“Never!”
“-again,” he finished.
“No, I won’t. Please,” she beseeched softly, her eyes huge. “Just listen to me.”
“Oh, please,” he growled, shoving away from the table to pace the floor. “Don’t even try to tell me you won’t run off when the going gets tough. And believe me, with a ten-year-old, it can get quite difficult. I won’t have you hurt her. No possible way.”
“But I can explain-” She followed his wild pacing, jumping when he turned so fast he nearly bowled her over.
“Can you explain why you stayed away for ten years?”
“A year ago, I-”
“Not a year, Jenna, ten years.” He folded his arms over his chest, blocking himself off from her. The minute she opened her mouth to speak, he interrupted her, unable to keep his tongue. “God, what an idiot I am. Asking about your past, about your parents. About you. Not Cindy, you!”
“No! It’s different, I’m not that same girl you once knew. I think differently. I react differently. I-”
“Is that right?” he interrupted her. “I don’t think so, Jenna. To me, you acted pretty predictably.”
“Let me tell you all of it. Then maybe you’ll see.” Once again she touched the side of her face, covering the faint web of scars.
Stone’s gaze followed the movement. “I’d let you tell me, Jenna, because I imagine it’s quite an amazing story. But to tell you the truth, I’m not interested in where you were and what you were doing while I was here raising our daughter.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“If that’s true, you couldn’t have stayed away so long.”
“What scared me so much ten years ago has not changed. We were soulmates then, and we still are. We are,” she insisted when he turned from her. “And now you’re the scared one.”
For a minute Stone couldn’t answer, couldn’t even move. She was right on that score, he thought bitterly. He’d given both heart and soul to that seventeen-year-old girl, and he was terrified at how close he’d come to giving them to the grown Jenna ten years later.
He’d allowed her to nearly destroy him-again.
Apparently she was willing to pull on whatever heartstrings she could reach in order to railroad him into falling for this act of hers. He’d felt that light touch of hers on his back, felt his body react to it, and the memory further ignited his anger.
“Please, Stone, if I ever meant anything to you, please listen to me now. Let me tell you my story, and then we’ll go from there.”
God, no. If he did, if he allowed himself to look into her fathomless eyes and listen to her husky emotion-riddled voice, if he allowed himself to feel for her again, she would finish off the job she’d nearly accomplished the last time.
“Stone.”
He could hear her fear, her utter vulnerability, and he didn’t want to. Holding on to his anger like a drowning man, he ignored her. He went directly to the back door and jerked it open.
Standing there holding it, he silently invited her to go out into the cold night and leave him alone.
“That’s it?” she asked incredulously. “You find out who I am, you decide you don’t like it much, and you’re done? Just like that?”
“Yep.”
“You’re not being fair.”
“Let’s not get started on that issue, Jenna.” He said her name as if it were a filthy word.
“I have things to tell you.”
“Too late. I want you to get out.”
His face was hard, closed off to any emotion except anger. He wasn’t going to listen. He was going to kick her out, and every nightmare she’d ever had was about to come true.
Failure rose up and nearly strangled her. Slowly, hoping he’d say or do something, anything, to stop her, she walked toward the door. On the threshold, sandwiched between the warm cozy kitchen and the cold night air, she stopped and looked at him.
Her shoulder brushed his chest, and at the contact, he drew in a breath and held it.
It was just a tiny insignificant movement.
But hope flared through her, for he was not as immune to her as he wanted to be. “Good night, Stone,” she said quietly.
“Don’t you mean goodbye?”
“No, just good night.” Taking a chance, she touched him, set her hand on the tight unbreathing chest and felt the steady drum of his heart.
Needing more, she dug her fingers, just a little, desperately wanting to feel everything she could.
And his heart sped up.
She smiled through her tears and whispered, “This isn’t over. It can’t be over.”
“Yes, it is,” he said through clenched teeth.
Shaking her head, she raised herself on tiptoe and kissed his granite jaw.
He brought his hands to her shoulders and set her away from him. “Don’t.”
“I’m sorry.” She swiped at a tear. “I know you don’t believe it, but it’s true. Just go to sleep, Stone. Maybe in the morning you’ll feel differently. Maybe you’ll let me explain everything and then-”
“No ‘then,’” he said roughly. “Don’t even think it.”
“And then we can start to heal.”
Before he could further break her heart by telling her that it was impossible, she ran down the steps. But luck had rarely been with her, and she heard him say, “Don’t come back here, Jenna. Ever.”
Failure and despair washed over her as she made it to her car. But she didn’t let herself fall apart.
Instead, she set her shaking hands on the wheel, peeled out of his driveway and let the highway take her away.
Sara lay in bed in her grandmother’s huge wonderful house and wrapped herself around her pillow.
Sleep wouldn’t come. She thought that maybe it was because she’d put the four marshmallows in her hot chocolate the way her grandma had said she could, then when her back was turned, she’d stuffed eight more into her mouth real quick.
She loved marshmallows.
But now her tummy hurt.
Instead of calling her daddy and whining, which is what she would have loved to do, she pressed her pillow close to her belly and told herself she couldn’t get sick all over the pretty lace comforter on her grandma’s bed.
Her grandma was funny. So was her grandpa. And they had a cat named Noodles who was going to have kittens.
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