Jill Shalvis - Long-Lost Mom

Always so alone.

Ironically she wanted… the one person she couldn’t have.

Stone.

She wanted Stone. The only person to have ever been there for her.

“Easy, sweetheart,” a low male voice murmured close to her ear. When she whimpered, a big gentle hand stroked her face in time to the soothing rumbling endearments he was whispering.

Jenna strained toward that voice, eyes clenched shut, unable to shake the dream.

“You’re going to be all right,” the voice told her, still stroking, and somehow, miraculously, some of the pain became bearable. Her fear receded.

And he became Jenna’s entire world.

“Wake up now. I’m right here.”

She jerked the rest of the way awake to find Stone kneeling at her side, staring worriedly down at her.

“Just me,” he said lightly, concern deepening the lines in his face. “Just a dream, sweetheart,” he said calmly, though his eyes were anything but. “Okay?”

“Okay.” She drew a deep breath. “Just a dream.” Closing her eyes, she savored the moment.

“It was a doozy,” he noted.

She felt him stroke the skin on her neck, her jaw. Felt his other hand on her body, firmly establishing contact so she wouldn’t feel alone.

“Want to tell me about it?”

He had enough to deal with, yet was still willing to carry her burdens, too. She grasped his hand, overwhelmed by how much room he had in his heart. “I’m okay,” she said, and sat up. “I’m sorry if I woke you.”

“No, my stomach did.” He smiled, some of the worry still evident as he searched her gaze with his. “Are you hungry?”

“Starved.”

They stood, but Stone held her still when she would have moved to the kitchen. “You can trust me,” he told her. Lifting her chin, he met her gaze. “With anything.”

And amazingly enough, for a woman who’d spent her entire life running from trust, she knew it to be true. And the thought gave her hope for the upcoming evening and her biggest risk of all. When she would indeed have to trust him with her very heart and soul.

Stone insisted on doing the dishes. Then, though it wasn’t a school night, Sara was irritable and exhausted enough to want to go to bed early.

Which left Stone and Jenna alone in the living room, a low fire in the hearth and two cups of steaming tea in front of them.

We’re alone, Jenna thought, nerves jangling. No better time than this.

That was when Stone turned to her with a curious little smile on his face.

“What did you mean before? When you said you wouldn’t leave me ever again?”

Jenna stared at him, her heart in her throat. “You were sleeping,” she said in an accusing voice she couldn’t control, jabbing his solid chest with her finger. “I know you were, I made sure!”

He caught her hand in his and his smile faded. “Yeah, I was zonked out like a light. Then I felt you touch me, and I was enjoying your attention. I knew if I opened my eyes, you’d stop.”

“But…” God. It’d been different when she’d wanted to tell him, but with him looking at her expectantly, concern filling his gaze, she lost some of her nerve.

“That bothers you.”

“No.” She would have leaped off the couch, but Stone slid his arms around her waist, anchoring her to his side.

What she would give to be able to lay her head on his very capable shoulder and cry it all out. To have him understand.

She’d given away that right long ago.

Now, holding herself rigidly away from him, Jenna forced herself to meet his questioning gaze. “I didn’t mean for you to hear me, but maybe it’s better that you did.”

He frowned. “Come here,” he said quietly, tugging at her. “Closer.”

Still she resisted the incredible lure of his arms. “I can’t.” She had to close her eyes for a minute or lose her resolve. “Not until we talk about it.”

“I hate to hear you like this,” he told her. “Whatever it is, we can work it out.”

“I hope you still feel that way after we talk.” For a moment pride deserted her and she clung, gripping fistfuls of his shirt, burying her face in his neck. “Promise you will.”

“I can promise I feel something for you,” he said slowly, stroking her back, his voice rumbly and deep against her ear. “I can’t imagine that changing.”

She closed her eyes, breathing in his wonderful scent, and wished with all her heart she didn’t have to do this.

“Tell me, Cindy.”

“For starters,” she said, lifting her head and straightening away from him to see his face. “That’s not my real name.”

He shifted, his shirt stretching over bunching muscles. His voice was carefully patient, as though he refused to jump to conclusion. “You mean it’s short for something?”

This was so desperately hard. “No. I mean Cindy isn’t my name at all.”

Silence. He didn’t move a muscle. Then, very quietly, “What?”

“I’m not…Cindy.” She grimaced. “Much as I spent most of my life wishing I was.”

“Then who are you?”

“That’s the…tricky part.”

“I see.” His eyes narrowed speculatively. “Now I understand why you don’t always answer to your name.”

Her face felt hot. “Yes,” she whispered. “I’m sorry.”

“Why don’t you tell me the rest of it before you go apologizing for something I don’t understand?”

“All right.” She stood, and swiped her wet palms down her pants. Lifting her hands to her eyes, she prepared to remove the dark contacts, wanting Stone to see the real her.

The doorbell rang.

Stone swore and Jenna froze. “No,” she whispered. “Not again. Fate really has it in for me.”

“Tell me,” he said. “Just tell me.”

Jenna stared at him, unable to believe they were going to be interrupted again. It was just too much. “But the door-”

“It’s a salesman.”

“At eight o’clock at night?” Jenna shook her head, frustration so strong she nearly choked on it. Truly unbelievable! “Stone, you’ve got to get it.”

“Fine.” With one lithe motion he rolled to his feet. Looming over her, he looked powerful. Intense. And very annoyed. Unconsciously she stepped back from him.

Jaw tight, Stone reached out and touched her, just a light brush on her shoulder, but it was enough to remind her that his superior strength would never be used against her.

“Don’t forget where we were,” he demanded softly, reminding her that she wasn’t done here tonight, not by a long shot.

“I don’t think that’s possible.”

The bell rang again, a harsh ugly sound echoing in the room.

With a choice expletive, Stone moved toward the door, equal parts anger and frustration making his movements jerky. He nearly tore the hinges off the door as he yanked it open, and then he went still.

From her perch near the couch, all Jenna could see was his broad shoulders blocking the opening. She heard him murmur something in a surprised voice and a woman murmur in return.

Then Stone stepped back, his face pale. Jenna realized why when his mother, Lara Cameron, stepped over the threshold.

The woman had once hated Jenna with all her might, which made it more than mildly disconcerting to have her smile politely at her. Without any sign of recognition.

Looking shocked to his toes, Stone started to introduce his mother, but stopped suddenly and flashed Jenna a disarming but decidedly shaky grin. “Would you like to tell my mother your name, since at the moment I don’t seem to actually know it?”

Jenna’s mouth opened, but all that came out was a short desperate laugh. “Cindy will do for now,” she managed, covering her mouth.

“Nice to meet you,” Lara said formally, gripping her purse close as she made an obvious attempt to remain polite and true to her status. But her gaze kept falling back to her son, wonder and regret filling her eyes.

It was a big moment for Stone. Having stood between them once, Jenna had hoped never to do so again. “I’d better go,” she said quietly, her throat tight with the need to scream in frustration. Surely this was Fate’s idea of a joke, interrupting them continually before she could tell Stone the truth.

“No,” Stone said. “Wait.”

Jenna walked to the door.

“Cindy.”

God, that name! Tears filled her vision, her hands clenched tight. She had no choice, no choice at all, but it was going to drive her crazy. She moved faster, stepping around his mother without meeting her eyes.

“Just wait, dammit.” Stone stopped her, his voice low, urgent. “We were in the middle of something important. You wanted to tell me-”

“It’s not as important as this,” she said, even though with all her heart she wished it could be.

“Thank you,” Lara said. “You’re right, this is very important. I’ve waited too long as it is.”

But Stone was having none of it. “That you’ve waited at all is not my fault,” he told his mother, “nor at the moment, my problem. This,” he told Jenna firmly, “comes first.”

Lara pressed her lips together, but then inclined her head and said, “As you wish.”

Stone sighed, his brow deeply creased as if he had a headache. “Mother-”

“He wanted to talk to you, you know. Richard.” Lara nodded. “He wanted that more than anything.”

His face grim, Stone shook his head. “No, he didn’t.”

“It’s true,” his mother insisted.

“The hell he did,” he said in a carefully controlled voice.

With his innate courtesy gone, Jenna knew he was near the point of exploding. All she wanted to do was wrap her arms around him and never let go.

“He…he didn’t because he thought he’d disappoint me. I think he was afraid to hurt me more than I’d already been hurt.” Lara shook her head. “The only problem, Stone, is that you were hurt too, more than any of us, and you were all alone. Richard realized that. He thought about you a lot, especially… recently, almost as if he’d known… He started talking about you. I think he was trying to get me to-” She broke off suddenly, covering her mouth with her fingers.