Jill Shalvis - Long-Lost Mom

Gruffly he said, “I didn’t mean I didn’t want you to touch me. I want that, Cindy. I want it badly.” He rubbed his ribs. “But I hurt like hell, and much as I regret asking you not to hug me, you were squeezing too hard.”

She closed her eyes in embarrassment, but she was just so relieved he was okay. “Oh.”

His eyes gleamed with something far more than pain. There was warmth and affection, just waiting for her to take it. As she watched, it deepened into something more like…hunger. For her. She would have taken a step back from what she saw there, but she had to be able to breathe to move, and at the moment, she couldn’t draw any air at all.

“I’m feeling…a bit better.”

“I’m glad,” she managed. His hands on her hips were making her knees weak again, and she couldn’t hold back the memories of other times, other places, when he’d had those big knowing hands on her, how he’d made her feel like the most important woman on earth.

He was doing it again, with little to no effort, and this time, for the first time, her head was in the right place. She could only imagine how wonderful it would be now to make love with him.

He ducked his head a bit to stare into her lowered gaze. “That thought you just had, the one that’s making you blush.” He arched his brows. “Mind sharing?”

Her face felt hotter. “I don’t think so. No.”

“Chicken.”

“All right, if you must know, I was thinking about how scared I was, watching you crumble like that.”

“I just had the air knocked out of me, that’s all. And that’s not what you were thinking.”

“Okay, I was thinking of getting you to a hospital.”

His sharp gaze told her he didn’t believe a word of that excuse, either. “I don’t need a doctor, but thanks.”

“Yes, you do, your head…”

“It’s fine,” he assured her, rubbing his chest “But this hurts. What do you have for this?”

“I thought it was your stomach.”

His gaze deepened, his body, his big, warm body, leaned closer. “It was. But my heart hurts like hell. What are you doing to me?”

Oh, she couldn’t face this. The tenderness, the caring… it was going to tear her apart. She didn’t deserve it, and he deserved so much more.

“Your ribs,” she said desperately. “You might have cracked something. You need-”

“You,” he said. “I need you.” And he kissed her, a deep searching kiss.

Jenna’s response to Stone’s kiss was primal and instinctive, because she needed him, too. Needed him with everything she had. Her eyes drifted closed, and though her fear for him didn’t fade, she loosened her grip on him enough to lightly touch his chest. He was okay. She drowned in the knowledge, and a swirling heat that worked its way from deep inside her, spreading to her limbs until she thought she would spontaneously combust. “You’re really okay.”

“Yes.”

She hadn’t realized she’d spoken her desperate worry out loud until he reassured her.

Stone’s hands fueled the fire as they slid up her body, over her ribs, grazing the sides of her breasts, then cupped her face. Tilting her head for better access, he nibbled her mouth, making her whimper for more.

His body went rigid for the briefest moment, and Jenna panicked. He knew! He’d kissed her, and somehow he’d discovered the truth.

Frightened, she opened her eyes to find him studying her with a keen probing gaze, as if he was trying to see deep into her soul.

Chicken, he’d called her, and he was right. How could she have lost herself like this? How did it happen that she hadn’t told him the truth but was still in his arms?

Last chance, she thought. Last chance to hold him, because once she told him, he wouldn’t want to touch her ever again. Oh, she’d miss this. To be surrounded by his arms, to hear him groan at her touch.

For so long she’d been on her own, with no one to share her fears and secrets. She’d allowed no one close, not friends, not co-workers, no one.

Now she had this man, the man she’d loved since the first moment she’d seen him years before, and he wanted her. It felt so good to be held like this, so good that she became dizzy with the unexpected luxury of it.

“It’s all right,” he murmured, wrapping his arms around her when her legs threatened to buckle. Tenderly, lightly, he nuzzled at her neck. “I’ve got you.”

And he did. She reveled in that, and in being able to count on him. She’d give anything to give that much back and have him accept what she could offer. Tell him. Tell him.

He kissed her again, a questing sensual kiss that had her mind floating along where nothing mattered except his mouth, his tongue, that thrilling low moan he made deep in his throat when she pressed closer.

His muffled oath had her jerking back, startled and dazed.

She leaned against the counter for support and concentrated on dragging air into her lungs. But even breathing didn’t dispel the memory of the pleasure he’d created when she’d been plastered against his heavenly, warm and gloriously hard body.

He hadn’t said a word, was probably horrified at how she’d flung herself at him. “I’m sorry,” she said, staring at her clenched fingers.

He was silent.

Her new determination to face life directly made a mockery of her. Chin up, she looked at him. “I don’t know what came over-Stone?”

Braced against the wall, he was white and visibly trembling.

“See?” she demanded, rushing to him to support him the best she could. “You see? Dammit, I told you. A doctor. Now.”

There was a smile in his voice and surprising strength in his arm as he wrapped it around her, careful to keep her to the side of him, away from his clearly aching middle. “No, no doctor. I’m fine, but I’m enjoying this bossy side of you, so please feel free to continue yelling at me while I catch my breath.”

“You’re impossible,” she said, bewildered by him as she led him to a chair. Dumping the files on it to the floor, she gently pushed him down and put her hands on her hips. “Tell me where your phone is or I’ll…”

“You’ll what?” He was clearly enjoying himself despite his pain. “You’ll kiss me again?”

He looked so hopeful, while at the same time so dreadfully miserable, she didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. He’d broken out in a sweat, his eyes were glassy with pain and she had no idea what to do.

“Stone.” Jenna sank to her knees before him, unable to stop herself from hovering. “Please. You’re hurt.”

Taking her hands in his, he shook his head.

“And stubborn as ever.”

Just as he narrowed his eyes in question, she realized her blunder. “What is it about men that make them this way?” she asked. “Like they know it all?”

“Fear.”

“Fear?”

Closing his eyes, he drew a careful breath. She tried to rise, but he held her hands tighter now, as if needing her closeness, and loving the feeling of being needed, she stayed. “Stone?”

“It was just a stupid accident,” he said, leaning his head back. He studied the ceiling. “One that could have cost me much more than wounded pride.”

She doubted it was only his pride hurting, but remained silent because she was certain she knew where this was going. Her heart started a heavy drumming in anticipation.

“I’m sitting here thinking that if I’d gotten myself killed,” he said, “where would that leave Sara?” He lifted his head and stared at her. “The thought terrifies me.”

Such emotion, such incredible love and perseverance. And if she’d never gone away, she could have had it from him, as well. But she had gone, and in doing so had cost him just about everything. “Your family?” she asked hoarsely.

“It’s complicated, but they’re not in the picture.”

She knew that, but had hoped beyond hope that it had been a terrible mistake, that his family hadn’t really been able to turn their backs on him and Sara. The way she had.

Guilt swamped her. Guilt and a regret so strong she could hardly speak. “I’m sorry, Stone.”

“You’re alone, too, so I know you understand what it’s like to worry about the future.”

She let out a harsh laugh. “Yeah, well, you don’t know the half of it.” He just looked at her steadily. “Well, maybe you do.”

“My tamily disowned me, not because I got a girl pregnant, but because they didn’t approve of her as a person. Doesn’t matter that I wanted to do the right thing, they still walked away from us. I was twenty then. It’s been ten years and they haven’t spoken to me since.”

“Oh, Stone.”

“It never fails to amaze me how they can keep Sara out of their lives.”

“How awful of them.” She touched him because she bad to. “And unforgiving.”

“They made their decision, and I made mine. I’m not sorry for that, but for Sara.” Sadness welled in those gray blue depths. Sadness and anger. “But I’ve been selfish,” he admitted. “Hoarding her. I should have pushed my family to change their mind. For her sake.”

She remembered his family. Wealthy snobs. She doubted they could be pushed to do anything. But as she looked at Stone, saw his grit and determination, she realized if anyone could change their minds, it would be him. “It’s not too late, Stone.”

In a sweet gesture that tugged at her already aching heart, he lifted her hands to his lips, kissed her knuckles. “What is it about you?” he wondered. “What is it that makes me want to bare my soul? That makes me want to get to know yours?” He played with her skin, using his teeth, making her shiver.

“Ah…” Difficult to think with his mouth on her. “Maybe it’s the fact I’ve thrown myself at you several times now?” She managed a feeble smile, feeling self-conscious and very unsure.

“It’s more than that and you know it.” Again that deep probing stare. “You feel it, too, or you wouldn’t have done all this. You wouldn’t have allowed me close. You’re a very private woman. You wouldn’t have chosen this building, even if it had been the only one available, unless you wanted to be near me.”