He and Julie took turns calling the hospital through the night, and they said nothing to the kids. Reed sensed that something was going on, but he had been happy playing outside all afternoon, and his father had told him that his mother had gone away for the weekend. And the following week, he and Julie had agreed to keep him out of school and in Greenwich with them.

Kate didn't regain consciousness all through the weekend, and Joe never called. Her parents were there, looking devastated. Her situation didn't worsen, nor did it improve, she was just hanging there, in limbo, between life and death. From what Andy could see when he returned to the hospital on Sunday afternoon, she was hanging by the merest thread. And still there was no sign of Joe. Her mother cried every time someone mentioned his name.

Andy called Joe's office first thing the next day. He stayed home from work himself. Joe's secretary informed him that Mr. Allbright was en route from France to Spain, and she was sure she'd hear from him later in the day. He explained what the situation was, and Hazel was distraught. She said she would do everything she could to find him in the next few hours.

Andy didn't hear back from her until five o'clock. Joe had changed his plans and left a message in Madrid. No one had gotten hold of him, and she had missed him at the hotel in Paris when he checked out. She said she thought he was going to London, but she wasn't absolutely sure. She had left messages for him at every hotel in Europe where he stayed.

When they finally heard from Joe on Tuesday afternoon, he told Hazel that he had spent the weekend on a boat in the South of France. He had opted not to go to Spain, and taken a day off, which was rare for him. And there had been no way he could have called Kate. He had just gotten to London at midnight on Tuesday, and got Hazel's message at the hotel.

“What's wrong?” He had no idea how hard everyone had tried to locate him, and no suspicion that something had happened to Kate. He thought Hazel was frantic over some business problem that had come up, and he was in no great hurry to find out. He was relaxed and happy after the three-day sailing weekend, and he hated to spoil the mood he was in with bad news.

“It's your wife,” Hazel went right to the point, and told him about Kate's accident. She explained that Kate was in critical condition in a hospital in Connecticut, and Andy Scott had called.

“What was she doing in Connecticut?” He hadn't absorbed what Hazel had told him yet. And the question he asked was absurd.

“I think she drove Reed out on Friday night. It happened on the way back and she was alone.”

It was slowly dawning on him, as he listened to her. “I've got to get back,” he said instantly, but they both knew that at that hour, it was too late for him to catch a plane, and he didn't have any of his own with him. He had been traveling on commercial flights, which was rare for him. “I'll do what I can. I don't think I can get back till tomorrow afternoon. Do you have the number of the hospital?” She gave it to him, and he immediately hung up and called. And after he hung up, he sat staring across the room. He couldn't believe what they had said. She was barely alive, and she'd lost the babies, the nurse explained. She told him Kate had been pregnant with twins. But all he could think of as he sat on the bed at Claridge's was what he would do if she died.





22

JOE WALKED INTO the Greenwich Hospital at six o'clock on Wednesday night. It had been five days since the accident. Kate was on a respirator, and being fed through a tube. She hadn't regained consciousness, although they thought the head injury had improved. The swelling was slightly down, and they thought it was a good sign. Her parents had gone back to their motel nearby to rest. And Andy Scott was standing next to her when Joe walked in. The two men exchanged a long look across her bed, and Joe could see in Andy's eyes everything he thought of him.

“How is she?” Joe asked, as he touched her hand. She was so pale, she looked as though she were dead to him, but Andy thought he'd seen a slight improvement in her late that afternoon. He hadn't been to work all week. He didn't feel right leaving Kate alone, and Julie had her hands full with the kids. The sitter had come out from New York to help once they'd heard from Joe.

“She's about the same,” Andy said through clenched teeth.

Joe noticed her flat belly immediately, and it touched his heart, knowing what it would mean to her. He had even gotten more excited about the baby recently, or babies as it turned out, but they meant nothing to him now. All he cared about was Kate.

“Thank you for being here with her,” Joe said politely to Andy, as Andy picked up his jacket and prepared to leave the room. There was a nurse sitting next to her, watching the two men. She wasn't clear about their relationship to Kate, but it was obvious that there was no love lost between them.

Andy stopped as he was about to leave the room and spoke in a low voice to Joe. “Where the hell were you, man? No one heard from you for four days.” He had responsibilities and a pregnant wife, two stepchildren. Andy couldn't even conceive of disappearing for days on end like that. He wondered if he'd been cheating on her, but he didn't know Joe. That was the way he was. Kate had gotten used to it, but there were still times when it was hard on her. Joe reached out when he was ready to, and sometimes he didn't call for days. It was inconceivable to Andy that no one had known where Joe was. This was a perfect example of why he couldn't afford to disappear. Andy couldn't imagine doing anything like it to his wife and kids.

“I was on a boat,” Joe said coolly. It seemed an adequate explanation to him. “I came as soon as I heard,” but even he felt uncomfortable that she had been in the hospital for five days without him. He just didn't want to answer for it to Andy Scott. It was none of his business anymore, all she was to him was the mother of his kids. To Andy, that seemed enough. “Do her parents know?” Joe suddenly wondered. He hadn't even thought to ask Hazel when he called her.

“They're here,” Andy explained. “They're staying in a motel.”

“Thanks for your help,” Joe said, dismissing him.

“Call if we can do anything,” Andy said, and left the room, as Joe sat down next to her. The nurse stepped away and busied herself at the sink near the door so that Joe could have some time alone with his wife. And once Andy was gone, Joe looked at her with deeply troubled eyes. He couldn't even imagine losing Kate.

No matter how odd their relationship seemed to other people, he was deeply in love with her, and had been for fifteen years. She was his best friend, his comfort, his mentor, his laughter, his joy, his conscience sometimes, and always had been the love of his life, the only woman he had ever really loved.

“Kate, don't leave me …,” he whispered, as the nurse stood just outside the room. “Please, baby… come back….” He sat there next to her for hours, holding her hand, with tears running down his cheeks.

A doctor came to check her bandages, and at midnight, they set a cot up for Joe. He had decided to spend the night. He didn't want to be at home in the city if she died. But he lay awake all night, and kept glancing at her. And miraculously, at four in the morning, she stirred. Joe had just started to drift off, but the moment he heard her moan, he sat up. The nurse was checking her eyes.

“What's happening?” he asked as the nurse took her vital signs. She had a stethoscope in her ears and couldn't hear what he'd said. And then, Kate moaned again, and with her eyes still closed, she turned her head toward him. It was as though even in the dark caverns of unconsciousness, she knew he was there. “Baby, it's me… I'm right here… open your eyes.” But this time, she made no sound, and he went back to his cot. But he had a strange sense in the room, as though someone was watching him. It was as though he could feel her in his own skin, and he was terrified she would die. It made him realize how much he loved her, and he had always known how much she loved him. They just didn't always want the same things. She wanted to be with him, and he needed to roam the world with his planes. But he didn't love her any less because of it, his focus was just different than hers. And he thought she had accepted that. He didn't know why, but he felt guilty about the accident. He wouldn't have admitted it to anyone, but he thought he should have been there. He had had no sense that anything had happened to her, he had spent a wonderful three days on his friend's boat. He was British and they'd flown together in the war. He'd even thought about Kate a lot, and the baby they were going to have. In retrospect, he couldn't even imagine what it would have been like having twins. But that was beside the point.

Joe never went to sleep that night, and at six o'clock he got up and brushed his teeth and washed his face. He had just walked back to her bed to look at her, when she stirred slightly, and opened her eyes. She gazed right into his, and he could barely breathe he was so surprised.

“That's better,” he smiled at her, feeling relief wash over him like a tidal wave. “Welcome back.” She made a little noise that sounded like a sigh, and then closed her eyes again, and he could hardly wait for the nurse to come in so he could tell her Kate was awake. Before she ever came back into the room, Kate looked at him again, and made an enormous effort to speak to him. She didn't seem surprised to see him there.

“What happened…” Her voice was so faint he could hardly hear, but he bent close to her face so as not to miss the words.

“You had an accident,” he whispered back, not sure why he did. He didn't want to overwhelm her by talking too loud.