They were on their way home and he was back at the controls again when she broached a subject to him that she had wanted to discuss with him for a long time. Usually, he wasn't home long enough to warrant bringing up sensitive topics, but he was in such a good mood, and so happy with the plane he was flying, that Kate decided to brave it. She wanted another baby. His.

“Now?” He looked horrified.

“Well, don't crash the plane for Heaven's sake, while we talk about it.”

“You already have two kids, Kate. And you're tied down as it is.” Stephanie had just turned two, and Reed was four. Andy had remarried in June, and they were already expecting a baby. Reed was none too pleased about it.

“We've been married for a year and a half, Joe. It would be nice to have one of ours, wouldn't it?” The look on his face didn't suggest that he thought so. He had never been enthusiastic about kids, with the exception of Reed and Stevie. Reed thought Joe walked on water. And Joe was crazy about him.

“We don't need more kids, Kate. We have enough going on in our lives as it is.”

“You've never had one,” she said pleadingly. She had wanted his baby for more than ten years. It had been eleven and a half since she lost the one at Radcliffe.

“I don't need one,” he said bluntly. “I've got Reed and Stevie.”

“That's not the same thing,” she said sadly. He didn't sound as though he was open to the subject at all.

“It is to me, Kate. I wouldn't love them more if they were my own kids.” He had always been wonderful to them, which was what always made her think he'd be a terrific father. And she wanted another baby. To her, it seemed the normal outcome of how much she loved him. “Besides, I'm too old to have kids now, Kate. I'm forty-three years old. By the time they go to college, I'll be in my sixties.”

“My father was older than you are when I was born. And Clarke is older than that. He's still pretty lively.”

“He was never as busy as I am. My kids won't even know me.” It was one of his rare admissions that he was seldom around. But this time it served his purpose. “Why don't you find something else to keep you busy?” It was more than just a matter of keeping busy, she really wanted to have their baby. But he looked annoyed that she'd even brought up the subject, and even more so when he saw that she was disappointed. “There's always something with you,” he complained as they started to approach the airport. “Either you're bitching about my being gone, or now you want a baby. Can't you just be happy with the way things are? Why do you always need more, Kate? What's wrong with you?” He was busy landing the plane and she didn't want to argue with him, but she didn't like the way he said it. It was up to her to fit in and adjust to his needs, and seldom the reverse. What she wanted didn't seem to matter. He had gotten spoiled over the years, and some of it was her fault. He was home so rarely, and for so little time, that everything revolved around him when he was there. Between public adulation over his flying record, his heroism during the war, and his enormous success in business, all he ever heard was how remarkable he was, and Kate's was just one more voice added to the others.

But on the drive home from the airport, she was quiet. He knew why, and he refused to discuss it with her any further. He had told her for years that he didn't want children. There were enough children in the world, the baby boom had repopulated the world, and he didn't feel he needed to add to it. And when Reed threw his arms around Joe's neck when they got home, he looked over his head at Kate, as though to prove his point. They had two kids, they didn't need more. As far as he was concerned, it was the end of the conversation. For him, at least.

The subject didn't come up again, and he made a point of being home for the holidays that year. Kate had never let him forget the fact that he had missed Thanksgiving and Christmas with her the year before, so he arranged his entire schedule to accommodate her, and he thoroughly enjoyed it. They went to Christmas parties and a coming-out ball, took the kids ice-skating, and made snowmen in Central Park with the children. And he bought Kate an incredible diamond necklace with matching earrings for Christmas. They had been married for two years, and had never been happier in their lives. Their dreams had all come true. And when they danced on New Year's Eve, and kissed at midnight, Kate knew she had never been as happy in her life.

He was watching football on television the next day, while she took the decorations off the tree. Both kids were having naps, and despite a mild hangover from the night before, Joe was in good spirits. The holidays had been perfect. He was leaving in two days for a four-week trip to Europe, and in February, he was going back to Asia, but Kate had made her peace with it, and was going to meet him on his way back in California.

She brought him a sandwich while he watched the game, and she was laughing at something he said, when he suddenly saw an odd expression in her eyes, and she turned deathly pale. Just looking at her, he was frightened. He had never seen her look like that.

“Are you okay?” She was turning green as he watched her, and she was obviously sick.

“I'm fine.” She sat down on the couch next to him, and caught her breath for a minute. She'd had food poisoning a few days before, and said she thought it had something to do with that. Her stomach was still queasy, and had been for days.

“Sit down for a few minutes. You've been running around all morning.” She'd been up and down the ladder a dozen times taking ornaments off the tree, and chasing the children. The sitter was off on Sundays and holidays.

“I'm fine, honestly,” she insisted a minute later, and stood up very quickly. She had a lot to do, and didn't want to waste time. And the moment she got up, he turned to look at her, as her eyes rolled slowly back in her head, and she slid to the floor at his feet. She had fainted.

He was on the floor next to her instantly, on his knees, checking her pulse, and listening to see if she was breathing. He had his face close to hers, as she opened her eyes slowly and moaned softly. She had no idea what had happened. One minute she was looking at him, and the next she was lying on the floor staring up at him. He looked frantic.

“Kate, what happened? What do you feel?” She was thirty-one years old, and suddenly looked like she was dying to him.

“I don't know,” she looked scared and a little woozy. “I just got dizzy.” The wife of one of Joe's pilots had just died of a brain tumor, and it was all he could think of as she got slowly to her feet.

“I'm taking you to the hospital. Now,” he said, helping her back onto the couch. She didn't try to get up, she was glad to be lying down, although she was feeling a lot better.

“I'm sure it's nothing. We can't leave the kids anyway. I'll call the doctor.”

“Just lie there,” he told her. She did, and a little while later, she was asleep, while he watched her. He didn't want to tell her, but he was worried sick. In all the years he'd known her, she had never fainted. He was still sitting on the couch next to her when she woke up, and she looked much better. And over his protests, that night she cooked them all dinner, but he noticed that she ate very little. He made her promise that she would see the doctor in the morning, and he was already planning to call the head of Columbia-Presbyterian Hospital. He was an old friend and a flying buff, and Joe wanted to get the names of the best doctors in New York in case it turned out to be as serious as he feared it would be. But Kate seemed much more nonchalant about it than he did. He looked so upset that when they went to bed that night, she didn't have the heart to keep it from him any longer. She turned to him just as he was about to turn off the light, and kissed him. He was convinced she was dying, and he was fighting back tears as he held her close to him.

“Sweetheart, don't worry, I'm fine…. I didn't want you to be mad at me,” particularly over the holidays. She had wanted to wait until January at least, but she knew she couldn't now. It wasn't fair to worry him.

“Why would I be mad at you? It's not your fault if you're sick, Kate,” he said gently, as she lay back against the pillow.

“I'm not sick…. I'm pregnant.” If she had hit him with a brick, it would have had less effect on him than what she just told him.

“You're what!” He looked dumbstruck.

“We're having a baby.” She sounded very calm, and he could see easily that she was happy about it, although she'd been worried about his reaction to the news.

“How long have you known?” He felt thoroughly duped. She'd been keeping it from him.

“Since just before Christmas. The baby's due in August.” It had happened before Thanksgiving.

“You tricked me!” he said, leaping out of bed in a fury. She had never seen him as angry, as she lay in bed and watched him storm around the room. He was throwing things on the floor, and slammed the door to her bathroom. It was the reaction she had feared, and not the one she had hoped for.

“I didn't trick you,” she said softly.

“The hell you didn't. You said you were using something.” She had used birth control for years, ever since the miscarriage at Radcliffe, except when she was married to Andy.

“I did use something, but it must have slipped. Joe, that happens.”

“Why now? I told you when we talked about it a few months ago that I didn't want kids. You must have just gone right home that night and flushed your diaphragm down the toilet. Don't you care what I want?” He looked outraged and her lip was trembling. His needs were in sharp conflict with hers.