I smiled at her. “Is that a yes, baby?”

“Are you lonely without us?” she whispered.

“I worry about you when I’m not with you,” I told her. “If you’re with me, I don’t have to worry anymore.”

“I don’t want you to worry.” She was still whispering. “But I don’t want Daddy to worry either.”

“Dad won’t worry,” Billy muttered and Billie’s head swung to him.

“Look at me,” I called quickly as her lip started to tremble and Billie’s eyes came back to mine. “You don’t have to make a decision now. Just have Mitch’s eggs. Go to school and you can think about it. We’ll talk about it again when you’re ready. Is that a deal?”

She took in a breath then nodded. “Deal,” she whispered.

“Okay, baby,” I whispered back.

Then I felt heat at my back as Mitch leaned into me to set two plates filled with fluffy scrambled eggs and buttered toast, with cutlery resting on the side of the plate, in front of both of the kids. Once he’d done this he stayed where his was, both fists on the counter on either side of me, his body pressed to mine.

“Eat up, we gotta get on the road,” he ordered.

Billie looked down at her food. Billy looked down at Mitch’s fists in the counter. I tried to straighten and slide away which meant one of Mitch’s hands left the counter and his arm curled around my belly.

“You want toast, sweetheart?” he asked quietly in my ear.

I figured I’d throw up if I tried to eat anything. But I nodded because I was hoping he was offering to make me some and he couldn’t make me toast pressed into and holding me. Therefore, I nodded.

I was right. He let me go and I heard the bread bag rustling.

Billy’s eyes came to my face and he studied me looking about fifty years older than he actually was. Then he started eating.

Billie was already wolfing her food down at the same time inspecting the unusual plethora of jelly at her disposal.

I was thinking of school runs, Child Protection Services, buying new beds, when I’d have time to take foster parent classes and Mitch’s “Ma”. I was thinking about this so hard Mitch was in front of me holding a plate of buttered toast before I knew it.

I looked down at the toast then up at Mitch. The instant my eyes hit his, I knew it was definitely time to take control.

I took the plate, set it on the counter and asked him quietly, “Can we talk?”

He studied my face and I watched his eyes grow guarded. Then he nodded.

I walked around him, saying to the kids, “I’ll be right back.” Then I walked to the front door and out into the breezeway.

Mitch followed and closed the door behind him.

I sucked in breath and pulled up the courage to look him in the eye.

“Can you take a minute to explain to me what’s happening?” I asked.

“Thought I did that inside, Mara,” Mitch, eyes still guarded, answered.

“No, I mean from here on in. With Bill and the kids and Child Protection Services,” I explained.

He kept watching me and finally he nodded.

“Bill’s been arrested,” Mitch answered. “I’ll know more when I get into the Station. Child Protection Services have been called. Normally, Bill would decide who looks after his kids. Considering the state we found him in, I made that decision. They’ll be contacting you and they’ll do it soon because usually they’d decide who was an appropriate guardian if Bill was incapable of making that decision, which I deemed he was. While Bill stays incarcerated, they’ll stay with you. If Bill gets out then you’ll need to convince Child Protective Services he’s unfit and then prove to them you are. If the last happens, it won’t be difficult from what I’ve seen. But to be awarded guardianship, you’ll have to take foster parent classes.” He paused and finished, “So that’s where we are.”

I nodded then asked, “Why was Bill arrested?”

Mitch stared at me a minute, his expression shifting quickly to one that said he didn’t know what to make of me. Then he answered, “Mara, he was in possession of illegal substances and I’m a police officer. We tend to do something when we see someone in possession of something illegal. That’s kind of our job.”

This was true. Shit. I was such a dork!

Though possession of illegal substances wasn’t that bad unless you were in possession of a lot of them and, from what I saw, Bill wasn’t. That said, he’d been arrested twice that I knew. The first time he got community service. The second time wasn’t a big deal, his jail sentence was six months and he’d been paroled after three. It was only Billy then, Billie hadn’t been born yet and I’d looked after him those three months. It had been tough but I did it. Then again, Billy hadn’t been able to dress himself since he was a toddler and now both of them could dress themselves so maybe it wouldn’t be that tough this time around.

But three strikes wouldn’t be good. And I’d walked a police officer into his house.

Damn.

“Right,” I whispered and noted Mitch was studying me closely, it made me feel weird and it reminded me I needed to get this done. “Can I ask why you need to talk to the office at school?”

His head tipped slightly to the side like he was confused before he replied, “In order to introduce myself, tell them I’m a cop, explain what’s going on and get my name on the list of who they can expect to drop the kids off, pick them up and who they should call in case of emergency.”

“My name is already on that list,” I informed him.

“I guessed that but now my name needs to be on it,” Mitch informed me.

“Why?” I asked.

“Why?” he repeated.

“Yes, why?” I reiterated.

It was then his head straightened and his eyes slightly narrowed. “Were you in there with the kids and me just now?”

“Um…yes.”

“So you know why.”

I shook my head. “No, I don’t.”

He took in a breath that appeared to be an effort to remain calm then explained, “While you get shit sorted, Ma and I are gonna help out.”

No. No, he and his mother were not. His mother was probably a Ten Point Five too and Ten Point Fives didn’t help out Two Point Fives. That was law in Mara World.

I straightened my shoulders and said firmly, “Thank you, that’s very kind. In fact, um…all you’ve done is, uh…very kind but I’ve got it now.”

This time his eyes fully narrowed. “You’ve got it now?”

“Yes,” I answered.

“You’ve got it now,” he said disbelievingly.

“Um…yeah,” I repeated.

“You work twelve to nine,” he reminded me.

This was true, this week. The other shift was nine thirty to six thirty which wasn’t much better. How I was going to pick them up, look after them and sell beds so I could keep them fed was unknown to me but I’d figure something out.

“Yes, I know,” I told Mitch.

“So explain to me when you gotta work how you’ve got it now,” Mitch demanded to know. He looked like he was getting angry.

“I just do,” I provided no information and then decided to be polite but move this on so I could move onto whatever was next for me, Billy and Billie. “Really, I want to thank you because you’ve been really cool about all this and um…with the kids and everything but I’ll take it from here.”

“You’ll take it from here,” he repeated and I wished he’d stop repeating after me because it was freaking me out.

“Yes,” I replied.

He studied me again. Then he said with what seemed like strained patience, “I don’t think you get it, sweetheart. I told you I’d help out and I’m helping out.”

Jeez, I wished he wasn’t so damned nice.

“Yes, I understand that but what I’m telling you is that you don’t have to, um…get involved. I’m good. The kids will be good. I’ve got it now.”

“You’re a single woman who works full-time selling mattresses, Mara, and suddenly you got two kids on your hands. There is no way you’ve got it now.”

My freak out was beginning to melt to anger. I crossed my arms on my chest and informed him, “We’ll be perfectly fine.”

“Not without help you won’t,” he shot back.

“Mitch, I’ve got this.”

“Mara, there is no way in hell you’ve got this.”

That was when I lost it and I threw up my hands, hissing, “Jeez!” I leaned in. “I’m letting you off the hook! You don’t need to wade in Mitch. We’ll be fine. You can go…” I hesitated, looked at his door then back at him and finished, “Do what you do, enjoy your life, whatever.”

“I didn’t ask to be let off the hook,” he pointed out.

“Yeah, nice guys don’t but they still want to be,” I replied.

“Don’t tell me what I want, Mara. I’m seein’ with this shit that, again, you have no clue what I want.”

“Okay, then I’ll tell you what I want. What I want is not to be standing out in the breezeway arguing with you when I’ve got a million things on my mind. What I want is for you to stop butting into my life by getting out of it!”

My anger had built up so quickly I didn’t realize his had too and his surpassed mine. But I noticed this when he leaned into me, his face hard, his eyes flashing with a muscle jumping in his cheek.

“I was right. Your head is right up your ass but the problem now is you got two kids you gotta worry about and you can’t stumble through life with your head up your ass at the same time taking care of two kids.”

In our anger race, at his words, I pulled ahead and leaned into him too.

“Stop telling me I have my head up my ass, Detective Mitch Lawson. I’ve got my eyes wide open. I’ve always had my eyes wide open.”

“You’re totally fuckin’ blind.”

“You don’t know me enough to say something like that,” I snapped.