“What did you want, Dane?”

“At that moment? Just to be alone, I guess, not to worry about anything. Not to think how upset I was that the evil Joan had manipulated me out of a job I really loved, and how Im a little scared about starting Act Two of the Life of Dana.”

“Thats human. Thats normal.”

“It is.” She glanced back at him—big, handsome Jordan Hawke watching her with those deep blue eyes. He understood she wasnt looking for meaningless words of comfort or sympathy.

“It is,” she repeated, as soothed by his understanding as shed been by his hands. “I walked toward this grove of palm and fruit trees. I picked a mango. I could taste it,” she paused, touching her fingers to her lips. “Basically, I just walked along thinking, boy, this is the life. But it wasnt the life, it wasnt my life. And its not what I want, not really.”

She came back to the couch, afraid her legs might go weak again when she told the rest. “Thats the thought that came into my head—and then I heard voices. Off in the distance, but familiar. And I thought, this isnt real. Its just a trick. Thats when it happened. Oh, God.” As her chest tightened again, she pressed her fists between her breasts. “Oh, God.”

“Easy now.” He closed his hands over hers, squeezing lightly until she met his eyes. “Take your time.”

“Storm came in. Thats a mild word for it. When I realized it wasnt real, the world went to hell. Wind, rain, dark, and the cold. Jesus, Jordan, it was so cold. I starting running. I knew I had to get away, because I wasnt alone after all. He was there, and he was coming for me. I got back to the beach, but the ocean was insane. Walls of black water, fifty, sixty feet high. I fell. I felt him over me, around me. That cold. And the pain. Horrible, tearing pain.”

Her voice was breaking. She couldnt stop it. “He was ripping out my soul. I knew Id rather face anything but that, so I jumped into the sea.”

“Come here. Come here, youre shaking again.” He gathered her close.

“I woke up, or came back, whatever it is. In the tub, strangling for air. The bathwater had gone cold. I dont know how long Id been out of it, Jordan. I dont know how long he had me.”

“He didnt have you. He didnt,” he insisted when she shook her head. Gently, he eased her back so he could see her face. “A part of you, thats all. He cant get the whole, because he cant see the whole. A fantasy, like you said. Thats how he works. And he cant push you into it so deep that a part of your mind doesnt surface again and question. And know.”

“Maybe not. But he sure knows how to go for the gut. Ive never been that scared.”

“Once you move past that into pissed-off, youll feel better.”

“Yeah, youre probably right. I want a drink,” she decided and pushed away from him.

“You want water?” He realized she was coming back fast when the question had her curling her lip at him.

“I want a beer. I never had my bath beer.” She rose, seemed to hesitate. “You want one?”

Still watching her, he laid his fingers on his own wrist as if checking for a pulse. “Yeah.”

He liked the way she snickered at him before she walked away. It was a normal sound, a Dana sound. Thered been nothing normal in the way shed collapsed on him.

If he hadnt come by… but he had, he reminded himself. He was here, she wasnt alone. And shed gotten through it.

He got to his feet, took his first real look around her place. Pure Dana, he thought. Strong color, comfortable furniture, and books.

He wandered after her, leaned on the wall. More books, he noted. Who but Dana would keep Nietzsche in the kitchen? “First time Ive been in your place.”

She kept her back to him as she opened two beers. “You wouldnt have gotten in this time if I hadnt been wigged.”

“Despite that lack of welcome, I like it. Suits you, Stretch. And because it does, I dont suppose youd consider bunking at Flynns for the next little while. I can take my stuff over to Brads and hang there if thats a factor.”

She turned back slowly. “Are you being accommodating because I was hysterical?”

“Im being accommodating because I want you to feel safe. To be safe.”

“No need to put yourself out.”

“I care about you.” He shifted, blocking her exit before she could move past him. There was a quick flash of rage over his face, almost as quickly banked.

Where had that been hiding? she wondered. And how did he tuck it away again?

“I care, Dana. Just for a minute, one damn minute, set aside the way things ended up. We cared about each other, and if youd feel safer at Flynns, Ill get out of your way.”

“All the way back to New York?”

His mouth thinned as he took one of the bottles out of her hands. “No.”

Maybe it was unfair to poke and prod at him. But what the hell did she care about fair when it came to Jordan? “I wouldnt feel safer at Flynns—with or without you around. In spite of my condition when you knocked on the door, I can take care of myself. I did take care of myself. I got out of it without your help. And nobody, not you, not that bastard Kane, is going to run me out of my own apartment.”

“Well.” He took a sip of beer. “”I see youve moved to the pissed-off stage of tonights entertainment.“

“I dont like being manipulated. He used my own thoughts against me, and youre using old feelings. We cared about each other?” she shot out. “Maybe we did, but remember, thats past tense. If you want to be such a nice guy and get out of my way, then get out of it now. Youre crowding me.”

“Ive got things to say to you, and if Ive got to block you in to get you to hear them, then thats the way it is. I didnt know you loved me. I dont know what it would have changed, I just know it wouldve changed… something. Just like I know I wasnt ready for it. I wasnt smart enough or steady enough.”

“You were smart and steady enough to do what you wanted.”

“Thats exactly right.” With his eyes locked on hers, he nodded. “I was self-absorbed, broody, and restless. What the hell did you want with me, anyway?”

“You idiot.” Because shed lost her taste for it, she set the beer aside. “Youve just described the sort of guy every girl falls for at least once. Then you add those whiffs of recklessness, the brain, the looks, and the chemistry, and I didnt have a chance. How can you make a living writing about people when you dont understand half of them?”

When she tried to push past him, he took her arm. The look she sent him could have melted steel. “Buy a clue, Hawke. I said girls fall for once. Girls generally evolve into smart and steady women who put away the childish things like self-absorbed assholes.”

“Thats good. I prefer women.” He put his beer on the counter. “Ive always preferred you.”

“Do you think that makes my heart gopitty -pat?”

“Not yours, Stretch. But this might.”

He caught her face in his free hand, allowed himself the perverse pleasure of seeing her fury leap out of her eyes, then covered her mouth with his.

Thank God, he thought, thank God she was angry enough that he could do what he hadnt been able to do when she was pale and shaken.

Thered never been a taste hed craved the way he craved Danas. He had never understood it. And never worried that he should. It simply was. She might rake him to the bone for it, but he had a point to prove. To both of them.

He wasnt gentle. Shed never seemed to expect or need gentleness from him. He simply pressed her back to the wall and took.

Heat flooded her, as enervating and nearly as terrifying as the cold shed experienced earlier. There was no point in lying to herself, she wanted to feel this involved again, this aware of self, this needy.

But lying to him was a different matter entirely, so she shoved at him, struggled with herself, and refused to yield to either.

He laid a hand on her heart, and with his mouth only a breath from hers now, stared into her eyes. “Yeah. That got it going.”

“Get this. Its not going to happen. Its never going to happen again.” “Somebody once said, „Whats past is prologue.”

“Shakespeare, you ignorant jerk. The Tempest .”

“Right.” Amused admiration flickered over his face. “You were always better at remembering that stuff than I was. But, in any case, Im not looking to repeat myself. However much were the same, were that much different. Were not the same people we were, Dana. I want a chance to see who we would be together now.”

“Im not interested.”

“Sure you are. Youve got a curious mind, and youre wondering, the same as I am. But maybe youre afraid that being around me will prove too much for your self-control.”

“Please. You arrogant pig.”

“Well, then, why dont we test your self-control and satisfy my curiosity, and have ourselves a date?”

Hed managed to throw her off. “A what?”

“You remember what a date is, Dane. Two people going out to a prearranged location.” Idly, he ran the lapel of her robe between his thumb and forefinger. “Oh, I see, you thought I meant wed just jump straight into bed, rock and roll. Okay, if thats the way you want it—”

“Stop it.” Baffled, annoyed, and more than half amused, she elbowed him aside. “I was not thinking about sex.” And because that was a complete lie, her tone was aloof. “Theres not going to be any rock and roll, as you so succinctly put it. And the idea of a date is just ludicrous.”

“Why? Youd get a free meal out of it. And the added pleasure of being able to shut me down when I put the moves on you, and send me home sexually frustrated.”

“That does have some appeal.”