“Why didn't you tell me?” Maddy looked pale as she asked her husband.

“I didn't want to scare you,” he said simply.

“Don't you think I had a right to know? I walked home tonight, and that's how he got me.”

“I told you to take the car,” he said, looking both irritated and worried.

“I didn't know I was being stalked, for chrissake. Jack, I'm not a child. You should have told me.”

“I didn't see any point. The police were watching you, here, and they tightened security at work.” It explained the feeling she'd had for the past two days, of being followed. She had been.

“I don't want you making all my decisions for me.”

“Why not?” he asked. “You couldn't make them yourself, if I let you. You need to be protected.”

“I appreciate that,” she said, trying to sound grateful, but feeling stifled, “but I'm a grown woman, I have a right to make decisions and choices. I need friends. And even if you don't like the decisions I might make, I have a right to make them.”

“Not if they're the wrong ones. Why should you be burdened with that? I've been making all your decisions for the last nine years. What's changed?”

“Maybe I grew up. It doesn't mean I don't love you.”

“I love you too, which is why I protect you from being foolish.” He absolutely wouldn't concede that she had a right to at least some independence. She was trying to reason with him, to prove what she feared wasn't true, but he was unwilling to relinquish even one iota of control to her, even about her own life. “You're a pretty girl, Mad, but that's all you are, sweetheart. Let me do your thinking for you. All you have to do is read the news, and look pretty.”

“I'm not a moron, Jack.” She sounded angry as she said it, and she was still shaken by what had happened earlier that evening. “I can do more than just comb my hair and read the news. For chrissake, how dumb do you think I am?”

“That's a loaded question,” he smiled derisively at her as he said it, and for the first time in her life, she wanted to slap him.

“That's insulting!”

“It's the truth. As I recall, Mad, you never went to college. In fact, I'm not even sure if you finished high school.” It was the ultimate put-down, insinuating that she was too stupid and uneducated to think. He said it to humiliate her, but this time he only made her angry. He had said as much before to her, and she had never fought back when he said it.

“It didn't stop you from hiring me, did it? Or from getting you the best ratings in the business.”

“I told you. People respond to pretty faces. Now, shall we go to bed?”

“What does that mean? That you're horny, and feeling ‘passionate’ again? I've already been mauled once this evening.”

“Watch it, Maddy” He took a step closer to her, and she could see fury in his eyes. She was shaking, but she didn't step back from him. She was tired of being abused by him, under whatever title he gave it. But passion no longer convinced her. “You're out of line,” he hissed into her face.

“So are you when you hurt me.”

“I don't hurt you. You want it, and you love it.”

“I love you, but I don't like the way you treat me.”

“Who've you been talking to? That little black punk you used to work with? Did you know he used to be a bisexual, or does that come as a surprise to you?” He was trying to demean Greg and to shock her, but instead she was outraged.

“Yes, I did know, as a matter of fact. And it's none of my business, or yours either. Is that why you fired him? If it is, I hope he slaps you with a discrimination suit, because you deserve it.”

“I fired him because he was a rotten influence on you. There were rumors about you two. I spared you the embarrassment of discussing them with you, and kicked his ass out, where it belongs.”

“That's a disgusting thing to say. You know I've never cheated on you.”

“So you say. But just in case, I thought I'd remove the temptation.”

“Is that why you hired that pompous mummy who can't even read the news? He's using a TelePrompTer the size of a billboard. And he's going to flush your ratings right down the toilet.”

“If they go, baby, you go with them, so you'd better hope he puts some jazz into his delivery pretty quickly. You'd better carry him just like you did your little black boyfriend. Because if the ratings hit the skids, you might just be out of a job, and then you can come home and scrub floors, because there's nothing else you know how to do, is there?” He was saying disgusting things to her, and all his pretense of loving her was falling by the wayside. Just listening to him made her want to hit him.

“Why are you doing this, Jack?” There were tears in her eyes as she asked him, but he seemed not to care, as he walked up to her, grabbed a handful of hair, and yanked it, to get her attention.

“I'm doing it, you little crybaby, because you need to remember who's in charge here. You seem to have forgotten. I don't want to hear any of your threats anymore, or your demands. I'll tell you what I want to, when I want to, if I want to. And if I don't tell you a goddamn thing, it's none of your fucking business. All you have to do is your job, read the news, once in a while do a special report, and get into bed at night and not whine at me about how much I hurt you. You don't even know what it's like to be hurt, and you better pray you never find out. You're lucky I bother to fuck you at all.”

“You're disgusting,” she said, feeling sick as she listened. He had no respect for her whatsoever, and certainly no love for her. She wanted to tell him she was leaving, but she was afraid to. And the police were gone now that they had caught her stalker. She was afraid of Jack suddenly, and she knew he could see it.

“I'm tired of listening to you, Mad. Now get in bed, and stay there. And I'll let you know what I want to do about it.” She stood trembling in front of him for a long moment, and thought about refusing to get into bed with him, but she thought it would be worse if she did that. What had once been a somewhat roughshod style of making love to her had been becoming increasingly violent, ever since she had defied him over the story about Janet McCutchins. He was punishing her.

She went upstairs and got into bed without a word, and prayed that he wouldn't make love to her. And by some miracle, when he finally came to bed, he turned over without speaking to her, and didn't. Maddy was overwhelmed with relief.





Chapter 10




MADDY DIDN'T GO TO WORK with Jack the next day. He had to leave early, and she said she had some calls to make before she left for work, and he didn't ask any questions. No mention was made of the night before, he didn't apologize to her, and she didn't say anything about it. But as soon as he left, Maddy dialed Eugenia Flowers s office and made an appointment. The psychiatrist agreed to see her the next day, and she wondered how she would get through one more night with Jack. It was clear to her now that she had to do something before he really hurt her. It no longer seemed enough for him to demean her and call her poor white trash, he was beginning to openly abuse her, and she was starting to think that all he felt for her was hatred and contempt.

And as soon as she got to the station, Bill called her.

“How's it going?”

“Not so great,” she said honestly. “Things seem to be getting a little rougher.”

“They're going to get worse if you don't get out of there, Maddy. You heard what Dr. Flowers said.”

“I'm seeing her tomorrow.” And then she told him about the stalker. She knew the story was coming out in the paper that afternoon, and she had to identify the suspect in a lineup.

“Oh my God, Maddy, he could have killed you.”

“He tried to rape me. Apparently, Jack knew all about it, but he never told me. He doesn't think I'm bright enough to make decisions, since I never went to college.”

“You're one of the brightest women I know, Maddy, what are you doing?”

“I don't know. I'm scared,” she admitted to him. “I'm afraid of what will happen if I go.”

“I'm afraid of what will happen if you don't. He could kill you.”

“He won't do that. What if I never get another job? What if I wind up back in Knoxville?” She sounded panicked. It was all racing through her head.

“That's not going to happen. You'll get a better job. Knoxville is over for you, Maddy. You have to see that.”

“What if he's right? What if I'm too dumb to get hired by anyone else? He's right, I never did go to college.” He had made her feel like a fraud.

“So what, for Heaven's sake?” It frustrated him, listening to her. She made it impossible to help her. “You're beautiful and young and talented. You've got top ratings on the show. Maddy, even if he were right, and you had to scrub floors, which will never happen, you would still be better off out of there. He treats you like dirt, and he might hurt you.”

“He never has before,” but that wasn't entirely true either. He didn't hurt her as badly as Bobby Joe, but she had a scar where Jack had bitten her nipple in Paris. His form of violence was just subtler and more perverse than her previous husband's, but just as damaging to her psyche.

“I think Dr. Flowers is going to tell you the same thing I have.” They chatted for a few more minutes and he asked her to lunch, but she had to see the lineup at lunchtime.

And when Greg called her late that afternoon, he said the same things to her Bill had. “You're playing with fire, Mad. The son of a bitch is crazy in his own way, and one of these days he's going to get you. Don't wait for that to happen. Get your ass out of there pronto.” But for some reason she was paralyzed with doubt, and couldn't bring herself to do it. What if he got really angry at her? And what if he did love her? After all he'd done for her, she couldn't bring herself to desert him. It was a classic portrait of abuser and abused, as Dr. Flowers told her on the phone, but she also understood that Maddy was immobilized by fear. Dr. Flowers didn't push her the way Bill and Greg had. She knew that Maddy had to wait until she was ready. And Maddy felt relieved after she talked to her. She had been thinking of their conversation, and the meeting time they had set, when she went out to lunch. And Maddy was distracted on the way back from lunch. And as she walked into the building, she never saw the young woman watching her from across the street. She was pretty and young, wearing a black miniskirt and high heels, and she never took her eyes off Maddy.